Advice

Respect for parents

Q:

1. A girl is unable to love her father because he hurts her feelings, will she be accountable for not loving him?

2. After marriage girl should give importance for her parents or husband's parents?

3. A girl is happy in her husband's house because her in laws treats her well than her own parents. So naturally girl starts loving her in laws more than her parents will she be accountable before Allah for not giving so much of love for own parents? Please note that this girl had to suffer emotionally while she was at her parent's home due to some of the behaviour of her parents.

4. Will we be accountable in the court of Allah if we have little hatred for someone because that person used to hurt our feelings through his/her words or behaviour?

Living separately

Q: My question is that if someone's mother does not treat his wife well and blames her character without any evidence and blames her for doing magic based on that. If the son's mother hides a lot of things in the house with his wife which irritate his wife which ultimately results in starting miss behave with husband's mother and ask husband to arrange separate home for her but son resist to live w/o mother and father. Based on daily argue and conflicts, husband tried to convince his mother couple of times then start shouting on his mother for few occasions for injustice behaviour with his wife then what is the kuffara and way forward to get Allah's Raza?

Living with a brother who is one drugs

Q: I'm living in my parents house with my brother who is on drugs. He keeps on stealing my stuff even after I speak so nicely with him. This is going on for years. He frustrated me and my wife and my wife is really putting pressure on me because of it. She even threatens to divorce me. I do confront him in a respectable way. Will it be the right thing to fight and hit him? My wife says I'm too soft and probably wants me to bash him. Will hitting him do justice according Islam? Please advise me.

Making sincere tawbah

Q: I am very ashamed because I did a big mistake. I want to ask about that. One day I went to a party and I drunk too much then I came back to my home and I slept at midnight. I woke up and I saw my step sister sleeping and I touched her parts and she woke up. She told my step mom and my father and then through me out from the home. I am not understanding what to do now. I was drunk that's why this happened. They through me out its ok, but sir one thing is hitting my heart one by one I felt like my life has stopped. Please tell me what to do? How can I manage my life and what should I do? I am very sad.

Criticism of people

Q: I would like to know is not loving yourself haraam or a sin? I don't like myself, in fact I hate myself. I'm soo tired of having this ugly body and looks. I don't love myself at all and I never look after myself. e.g I don't care if i cut my hand with knife, I dont care if I eat too much and get fat, I don't care if something harms me. I don't care if Ii get serious illness or cancer etc. Because people around me have hurt me so much with their words and behaviour which makes me feel like this ungrateful and hating myself. I'm tired of feeling ugly, having no confidence and selfesteem. I'm tired of hearing people making negative comments and thoughts about how I look. I'm tired of crying and living lonely. I think Allah also hates me, thats why he never helps me or listen to my duas. I want to be happy at least when I die. In my grave and in jannah which is why I am asking is it gunaah to hate yourself and how you look? How can I overcome this hate feeling for myself?

Husband not adhering to the Sunnah

Q:

1. A woman's husband wears ordinary dresses like pant shirts and all not sunnah way of dressing like kurta pyjama, but wife wants him to wear sunnah clothing, how should she advise her husband? Even after she advises him if he doesn't wear it, will she have to show any displeasure towards her husband for the sake of Allah? Or she should continue loving him unconditionally?

2. Similarly in all the cases where husband is not practising the Sunnah or not going for tableegh in the path of Allah but wife wants him to do all these, what should be her stance towards her husband? She wants her husband to do all these because she loves him truly, but if husband is kind of lazy nature and don't listen to her then should she continue loving him or she must show displeasure towards him?

3. Similarly if one's husband is sinning how should a wife advise him? Humbly seeking your precious advise in this regard.

Girl not happy to get married to the boy her parents have chosen for her

Q: My marriage proposal is going on and my family members selected one boy for me. My family likes this proposal as the boy is hafiz e quran and amil too. I m a Modern muslim girl,i wear hijab ,I follow farzs things about islam and some times I do not follow each and every sunnah. I do pray 4 times salaah (namaz). Many a times I miss fajar salaah also. I read quran but not daily. I fast whole ramadan month. but other then this I do not do taraaweeh namaz in the month of ramadan. My inner feelings says that i should not marry this boy as I am afraid to marry him as he is hafiz e quran and alim and he follows each and every sunnah. If I marry him I also have to obey everything what he says if I do not listen then I will commit a sin so I m very much afraid and said no to this proposal initially the other reason to say no to this proposal is he is not having pleasant personality but my parents are happy with this proposal. I don't know what to do. If I reject, I feel that I am disobeying Allah and my parents also and if I accept this proposal and marry him, after marrying if I don't accept him as my husband as he is not having a pleasant personality and each day if I regret and dislike him will also increase my sins. And if I do not listen each and everything what he says and follows about each sunnah then my sins will increase each and every second. I am very much afraid. Please do suggest me according to Islam. I do not want to commit any sin. In my view what I feel is if I reject him now its less sin and if I marry him for the sake of my parents then my whole life I will do one or the other sin and if incase any divorce then the big sin. Please do suggest me I am very much afraid. Suggest some good advice so that my heart gets relief.