Advice

Q: I would like to know is not loving yourself haraam or a sin? I don't like myself, in fact I hate myself. I'm soo tired of having this ugly body and looks. I don't love myself at all and I never look after myself. e.g I don't care if i cut my hand with knife, I dont care if I eat too much and get fat, I don't care if something harms me. I don't care if Ii get serious illness or cancer etc. Because people around me have hurt me so much with their words and behaviour which makes me feel like this ungrateful and hating myself. I'm tired of feeling ugly, having no confidence and selfesteem. I'm tired of hearing people making negative comments and thoughts about how I look. I'm tired of crying and living lonely. I think Allah also hates me, thats why he never helps me or listen to my duas. I want to be happy at least when I die. In my grave and in jannah which is why I am asking is it gunaah to hate yourself and how you look? How can I overcome this hate feeling for myself?

Q:

1. A woman's husband wears ordinary dresses like pant shirts and all not sunnah way of dressing like kurta pyjama, but wife wants him to wear sunnah clothing, how should she advise her husband? Even after she advises him if he doesn't wear it, will she have to show any displeasure towards her husband for the sake of Allah? Or she should continue loving him unconditionally?

2. Similarly in all the cases where husband is not practising the Sunnah or not going for tableegh in the path of Allah but wife wants him to do all these, what should be her stance towards her husband? She wants her husband to do all these because she loves him truly, but if husband is kind of lazy nature and don't listen to her then should she continue loving him or she must show displeasure towards him?

3. Similarly if one's husband is sinning how should a wife advise him? Humbly seeking your precious advise in this regard.

Q: I have a female friend who drinks alcohol and consumes weed which is considered haram. How should I stop her and suggest a dua so that I can pray for her and help her out. I want her to change and bring her to the right path.

Q: Food prepared and distributed as a charity or food bought at a hotel and distributed as charity, which is dearer to Allah (Ta'ala)?

Q: I have a question regarding asking forgiveness from people whom one has hurt or cheated. I did hurt a few people in past, had arguments too. Later when I apologised they said they forgive me and asked me not to contact them ever again. My question is I sometimes get a feeling they might have said so in anger and not meant to forgive me, later on when they might remember any of the things they might again have ill feeling against me. So how do I approach this situation. Are there any specific deeds I can carry out (for eg:making charity and duas in their favour etc) or should I have to contact them (I fear talking to them again might cause more arguments ;both the person's are non-mahrmam) kindly help. Jazak Allahu khair.

Q: Please send a dua or waazifa to read. My brother in-laws son wants to come stay with us and I don't think it is right when I have a young girl of 13 years in the house and he is 17 years old. I also feel that I will have no privacy as I am full time in scarf. My husband and in-laws feel I am selfish. I don't want to hurt anyone but Islamically I don't think it is right he is not my son. Please help to read something that he can understand and agree to stay somewhere else or travel daily to his parents than staying in my house.

Q: I have a 3 year old son that gets very angry at times when he is scolded or reprimanded for doing something wrong. With the result he tends to get a bit aggressive with people around him. Is there a duaa I can read for him?

Q: My son does not like to study and he can not concentrate and he can't learn. He forgets whatever he studies. He is experiencing the same problem with his hifz.

Q: My question is about my wife. I have normally extreme need of sex but my wife does not allow me to have properly she come to me only twice or thrice a month sometimes only one time. That also not willing by her only. She performs it as a formality. It has been 12 years of my marriage. In early days it was ok, but also not that much which could be normal among husband and wife but since more then 5 years she is does not take any interest. Give me any good answer. I love my wife but I don't want to do zina. Please guide me what should I do? Even if I discuses with her, she does not take anything serious. Am I allowed to do 2nd marriage in this condition?