Q: My mother and father are separated and I live with my father. I am 16 years old. If my father tells me that I can't go to my mother for holidays will it be permissable for me to go without his permission?If I go to my mother for holidays without my father's permission will I be sinful?
Q: A couple have decided to terminate their nikah due to irreconcilable differences. After the iddat the wife will move out and rent a flat somewhere to accommodate herself and her three children (all sons).
Although the eldest child is 11, it has been mutually agreed that all 3 children will live with the mother.
The mother of the children has no personal income. She will have to find a job to take care of herself and her children as there is no other financial support. Since the children will be living with her, how much is the father liable for the maintenance of each child? Is there any formula to calculate this?
2. Which of the following aspects will be considered when calculating an amount for the maintenance of the children:
a) Food
b) Clothing
c) Rent
d) Utilities
e) Toiletries
f) Maid
g) Petrol allowance
h) Household detergents etc
i) Occasional treats
3. The children have grown up in a certain lifestyle. Does the mother have to cut back on what they are accustomed to, or does the father have to maintain them at the level they have become used to?
4. The mother will be moving into an empty flat which will have to be furnished with at least the basics. Since the children will be living with her, does the father have any responsibility in furnishing the home for his children's benefit?
5. The rental in an average suitable and safe area is around R6000. The children are already accustomed to living in such a suburb. Is the father obliged to provide maintenance considering such rental amount, or must the mother find a place in a sub economic area in order to afford the rental?
6. If the father of the children claims he is unable to afford, for example, more than R5000 in total per month for the maintenance of all three children, which is very inadequate, but the mother claims that he can afford more, how is this to be resolved?
السوال:
١) هل يجوز لي أخذ نفقة من طليقي طالما أنني أنوي الانفصال مدنيا ويترتب علي ذلك مقاسمته أمواله وما يملك سواء كان بيتا أو حتي سيارة حسب قوانين البلد هنا فهل يعتبر ذلك حلالا لي أم حراما؟
٢) فيما يخص الأولاد هل يجوز لي طلب نفقة شهرية لهم حسب قانون البلد هنا خاصة أنني أنوي فعلا المضي قدما في القضية والمطالبة بالحضانة؟
Q:
1. My husband and I have been separated since 25 April 2019. I am currently living with my sister and her family. I left my home because my husband abused me badly, this is not the first time that he had lifted his hands. I stayed in the marriage for 5 years whereby I went through physical and verbal abuse to the extent that I was even scared to ask to go and see my 2 boys from my previous marriage. He has a very bad temper, thinks that my family is influencing me and swears my family. I have been supporting him all these years and still am to keep a roof over his head.
In the last 2 months I have spent time with my boys more than I ever did in the 5 years of being married to my current husband. I would like to know my rights as still being married going to see my children as they live with their father? I know that their father is now a non-mahram to me.
2. My current husband does not want to give me my talaaqs. He is prepared to only give one and take his time with the others. I feel so stuck and torn between my family, my boys and my current husband. I dont know what to do. I want to do the things the proper way.
Q: After divorce, at which age can the children decide which parent they want to live with?
If the husband and wife agree for the wife to keep the children after the age of 6, will it be permissible?
Q: Please advise how a young widow with an infant child will cope with the following situation:
Her society and customs and practices require that if she marries anyone, her infant child will be taken away by her in-laws. Her father will not approve of any marriage, even if it is with a Muslim, if he is not from the same country as her, even if the man agrees to keep the child with his mother whom he will marry. The infant will be deprived of his mother’s love if she marries any man of her family’s choice. Staying single means she runs the risk of committing sin (maybe zina) which she does not want. In this situation, as she is an adult widow and not a virgin and has physical needs, can she not undertake a secret marriage?
Q: I am divorced with two children (boy 9, daughter 7). My ex wife, has as I am led to believe, settled down perhaps made or not made nikah with the man I accused her with whilst we were married. I am not sure but I assume he is also divorced, he too has two kids of his own, also a daughter and a son I think maybe a year older than each of mine.
My first question is: What is the most authentic ruling regarding custody of children post divorce? Where and with whom and from what age should they reside with either mum or dad purely from what Shariah explains?
My second question and this is what haunts me: If tomorrow they all decide to move in together and lets say they are indeed married for purposes of this question, how does the mahram thing work? This man, is he mahram for my daughter firstly. Secondly, his children being exposed to my children, I fear abuse, bullying, sexual abuse(possibly! as a parent this thought lingers as they grow older and left alone), and my children being teased by his kids - that they only in that home because my ex wife married their father. Tomorrow if these step brothers or sisters or whatever they will be termed, if their natural father purchases or does something for my kids , they could get jealous or nasty towards my kids, maaf but all of these scenarios seem to be playing out, hence my questions.
Q: Is they something a person can pray for when they have a court case? The case is regarding our son. My wife is trying to take my son away from me. He is doing hifz. He has done 9 juz. He is 9 years old. She doesn't care about all that.
Q: What does Allah say in the case of separation of husband and wife. The father wants to keep two children and gives the other two children to the mother even though the mother is willing to keep all the children but the father is forcefully keeping them..
Q: What is the ruling if 2 people are divorced Islamically. There's a son of 8 years old involved. I have tried amicabally to sort it out but what if my ex wife is trying to take full custody?
Also, what is the ruling if a girl is under the age of puberty?