advice

Q: For a while now I have been intending to attend a darul-Uloom to study Hifdhz and Alim Studies but people have been feeding me with negative thoughts. I will be turning twenty soon and people discourage me by saying that if I become an Alim then how will I get married while I am studying and how am I going to earn a living when I will only finish my studies when I am 30 and they say that I wont get a job because there are no jobs for Aalims available here is South Africa. Even my own family are against my opinion but I would love to take on Islamic studies and become an Aalim Insha Allah. Is there any advice one could give me?

Q: There is girl and she lives in Pakistan. She was married in 2006 wiht out her permission because she was poor and had no option. She didn't
like her husband but she could not do anything. She never loved him and her husband knows that from the very first night. He just living with her because she is beautiful and he told her that if she was not pretty then he would have married with another girl in another city secretly. They have kids now (daughters).

I met her 3 years ago because someone ask me to marry her sister and I talked to her family but in few days I found that I like her instead of her sister so I said no and I stopped talking to her.

After 2 years (last year) met again on chat and started talking and she asked me the reason but I didn't tell her but we kept talking and talking and after few weeks she got feelings for me because she never loved her husband and we got involved in each other but we never met and never cross limits Alhamdulillah. It was getting tuff for us and we tried to search if Islam allow us to marry after getting divorce from her husband but we found answer ”NO” on your website and we didn't want to risk our next life and make Allah angry. I lied to her that I am getting married and we stopped talking but in 6 months we never stopped loving each other and we pray 5 times and recite Qur'an and make dua but feeling never ended. We now talked again after 6 months and it's same. It's tough for her to live with him any more.

I know its all devilish things we did but we never cross limits and we tried to disconnect from each other. But I think now that we are making sin with this so we get married and she tells everything to her husband and get divorce. I could think different if she was in love with her husband and then changed her feelings. But she never.

We are very much religious Alhamdulillah and pray and can never think of making unlawful things but its tough now.

I want to ask if we marry then will we have any chance to get forgiveness of Allah and make Him happy. I know you must be getting angry with me but I think it's better to marry with each other than making sins.

Please help us in the light of Quran and Sunnah.

Q: I have a question and I am so confused. I want to marry a guy but the problem is I don't want to tell my family about this nikaah because my father is not a Muslim. So should I marry him with telling my parents? This nikaah will be valid or not?

Q: I am a 22 years old married girl. It's been 2 years that I am married and have no children yet because my husband wanted me to study further. I live with my in-laws and I am having problems with the way I feel ignored time to time. I sometimes am the centre of attention and other times they're all in a gloomy mood and I feel uncomfortable sitting between them. I want to be heard and I am having anxiety issues and other problems because of the stress I am taking. Kindly tell me an effective dua for value, importance and love between me and my family and a happy life, I would be grateful.

Q: I am married for 16 years. I am 43 years old and my wife is 38 Years old. We have a son of 13 Years Old. My wife does not want more children. However our relation is otherwise normal. Should I force her for more kids? If I would not force her, will I be sinner? Please suggest.

Q: I hope you can somewhat help me with my problem even though it's all in Allah's hand. I've been married for 2 years Alhamdulilah. I love my husband and we connected because of Islam from the beginning. We are practicing our faith together but his parents and sister are putting so much fitnah. I'm 7 months pregnant Alhamdulilah. I've had problems beforehand with them because they are very controlling and blame me for their son changing. I explain to them we all have to change when we get married and even before In order to go to jannah. His father is an alcoholic and violent and his mother is a pathological liar. My husband is torn because he wants to make things right because in Islam we have to be forgiving. We live in a 2 family home and things have escalated with his father threatening to hit me because he wants his son to listen to them and only them. He watches haram on tv. Even though I don't see it, it's on the recently browsed on my tv. She has smoked cigarettes in the house knowing I have asthma and hasn't apologized. The list of things can go on and on. I want an apology. I've been stressed out so much and it's not healthy on me or my baby. It's easy for someone to forgive their own siblings and parents. This has also made more disputes arise between my husband and I. I love him and know they are his parents but I don't want to give in without an apology. It's killing me inside. I don't think he should forgive so easily without an apology and forget what his parents and sister have said and done to me especially being pregnant. I'm so stuck.

Q: I am a very hard worker and I have studied btech but I have one paper. That too will be cleared within two months. But my parents are in trouble and somewhat sad about me that I spend a lot of my time in ibaadat so can't Allah make everything easy that my parents will be happy because when I do prayers more, then I feel like I am blessed and everything goes good, but sometimes like in morning due to some home work, I feel from inside if somebody tells me anything and how should I make my parents happy.

Q: I am looking to get married. But in today's society it seems impossible to find a girl who isn't involved in social media and shameless behaviour and dress code. How can one go about finding a good pious girl that will be a good match? I've been making istikhara for many months for the same girls. How does one tell what the istikhara indicates towards?

Q: I was a widow with three boys remarried due to financial problems. This man feeds well but he lies like anything. Hundred times he committed that he'll not lie and I am very much opposite to him. He won't give me anything in my hand and the rest of my money is also with him. He lies saying he took a property, but when I ask him to return my money he dodges. I am sick of his lies. He is a businessman. He loves food and spends a lot of money on hotels, parties charity but with me he won't make me feel secure. Please advise.