Q: My husband lives abroad and spends money on his parents and siblings. He says that he can't afford my visa and tickets. Is it my right to live with him? Its been two years and I have a son. My question is, who has more right on my husbands money, his parents and siblings or me?
Q: Is it right for an ex husband and his family to keep all the wifes jewelleries and refused to pay her maher? Last year his parents went for hajj but they still refused to give back what is hers. What's the Islamic understanding of this matter? She left it upto Allah but doesn't understand why they would steal her jewellery without her consent.
Q: I am a male 36 years old. I was first married to my cousin 9 years ago and currently having 2 kids with her, 8 and 6 years old. Few months back I got married to a girl. This girl is from my family and is an illegitimate girl. I didn't know about her past and what zina her parents did. Her parents got married afterwards giving birth to her in 5 months after wedding. I have no issues as I believe that she is innocent and all fault goes to her parents. My parents do not agree to this marriage and are forcing me to leave her and the sole reason they are giving is because she is illegitimate. They are forcing me to a level saying to either leave her (divorce her) or leave them or they will kill themselves. I am in deep issues as I don't want to leave her in the middle of nowhere. I can fulfil rights of both the ladies as well as my kids and have offered them to keep any guarantees whatsoever.
Q: I was engaged to a boy for 4 months and then in order to avoid any sin we decided to do nikaah without telling our parents as they decided to wait for both of us to complete our education before getting us married. However, both families had pure and hearty intentions to get us married without any objection. Now it has been a year since we have done our nikaah in presence of two witnesses who were his friends. The disputes between us have been increased to unbearable limits now. My family has also found some unignorable facts about his family due to which they are having second thoughts. This guy who is my husband has abused me mentally so much that I have completely lost my self respect, my personality, my life goals and now he has also started to disrespect my family. I changed my complete self to keep him happy and yet he is still not satisfied at all with me. He fights with me and goes away for months, doesn't talk to me for months and I never know where he is and what he is doing. At this point my family has seen me depressed all the time and they, including myself has decided to get separated from him and his family. Now when I decided to get khula from him I started studying how it is done. It looks simple but we didn't register our nikaah nor we did any paper work. How should I proceed? Please guide me. And also I've been reading contradicting articles, some says nikaah is not valid without the girl's parents presence and some say in Hanafi mazhab it is valid if the girl is sane and adult. Please guide me through this issue as soon as possible.
س: السلام عليكم و رحمة الله . سيدي العزيز . أنا رجل قد تعرضت للخيانة من زوجتي و صديقي و إكتشفت ذلك مؤخراً بعد أن رأيت صور لها على الكمبيوتر الخاص به و إعتراف منه و هي قد كذبت عندما واجهتها بالحقيقة ومع الحلفان بالله كذباً و هي مستمرة بالكذب في هذا الموضوع و هي ليست عندي الآن و لي منها طفلان و قد حرمتني من رؤيتهم أو حتى التكلم معهم هاتفياً و طبعاً هذه العلاقة بينهم حرام من عند الله و أفعالهم قد دمرتني مادياً و نفسياً و معنوياً و بكل الأمور و الله يعلم كيف أصبح حالي الآن و المشكلة أنني أسكن في دولة أوروبية ألمانيا و قد أصابني الهم و الغم و الحزن فأنا بلا طعام منذ ايام فقط الماء و ملعقة من العسل صغيرة و ضاق صدري و لا أدري ماذا أعمل ؟أرجو توجيهي لأي شيء فأنا أريد أطفالي و مع أنني شهدت خيانة زوجتي لكن في قلبي بعض الحب لها و هي تعتبرني عدو بالطبع لتحقيق أهداف في رأسها تضعها و غالباً لكي تبقى دون حسيب او رقيب مع العلم ليس لديها أقارب لها في هذه الدولة . فيا شيخي الكريم أكرمنا و أكرمك الله وحهني ماذا أفعل و هل يجوز إن تابت أن أعيدها إلى بيتي و ماذا عن حرماني من أطفالي ؟؟ و شكرا لك و السلام عليكم و رحمه الله
Q: I have been married 6 years and I was living with my in laws as my husband refused to move away, I settled for second best option and that was to build us a place in the yard. Last year we moved into the outbuilding. My husband made a key for his parents because they look after our 5 year old child. His parents and his sister goes in and out of our place and do what they want and take what they want but only when we are in work. Yesterday I had an argument with my husband and they went into our place and took things from the kitchen cupboard and went into the room and went into our cupboards. I told him that I feel they are invading my privacy and taking things without any permission. He then told me that I am ungreatful and selfish and that if I don't like it I am welcome to leave and find myself another place to stay. He gets very angry with me when I mention anything I don't like regarding his family and he will always put me down to defend them. He also told me that I will answer for my selfish ways.
My questions is: Am I wrong to ask his family to respect my privacy and ask permission to go in and take things from our place? And what are the husbands duties towards his wife when it comes to his family?
Q: I need help with a certain issue. I got married about 7 months ago. Recently i had this doubt on my husband related to his friend who is a female. To confirm it, i checked his phone in his absence and found messages in which he is flirting with her and telling her how much he loves her! There were even pictures of them together really close and him kissing her cheek! So one day i told him that i dont appreciate his friendship with that girl and that they should stop talking completely. After a big fight, he agreed. The problem is, he doesnt know that i read his messages and that i am aware of what he was doing. So he keeps playing innocent and telling me that i am creating problems in our marriage by assuming things that arent true. He blames me for our relationship issues and keeps telling me that he isnt doing anything wrong and that i am being insecure.
My question to you is, Even though my husband agreed to stop talking to that girl, should i openly tell him that i read his messages behind his back and that i know he is cheating on me? We might get into a bigger fight if he finds out i read his messages and that could damage our relationship maybe even permanently. Im scared he will leave me. But he needs to stop telling me lies about her just being a 'friend' and blaming me for things going wrong in our marriage. I need him to know how serious i was when i asked him to stop talking to that girl. I dont know what the right step to take in this situation is. Its hurting me everyday. Im scared he might lie to me that he stopped talking to her and continue to flirt with her behind my back if i dont confront him.
Q: I like a person from my paternal family and I want to marry him. He is the son of my father's own sister. My parents are dead against this and they don't want to let this happen at any cost. They dislike the boy's family very much and also they are taking up illegal (black magic) activities to break this relation and get me back. Please suggest how to convince them or what to do?
Q: Talaq... Been married to my husband for a year and a half was arranged and love marriage. First couple of months were good then started having arguments. I knew before marriage he smoked weed but he said he would give up after marriage and not smoke it anymore, he lied he always did. Last couple of months of months found out he also drinks alcohol been over a year i never knew before marriage. Since last month he has demanded a divorce saying how the marriage life is not for him he wants the single chilling life. He always disrespects me and has hit me once or twice but for sake of Allah i have always forgiven him, given him countless chances but after hearing the word divorce from his mouth that is when I realized he doesn't deserve me at all or another chance. He has even said he will never stop smoking or drinking and i have waited over a year and done my best to help him change but all my efforts have gone to waste! I have come to my parents house and after couple of months of days he texted me saying he wants a divorce about 2 times and then swore at me. It has been 2 weeks now and i have made a decision to divorce him as i feel it is the best decision for me as i really want a husband on the deen. But our parents are making it hard especially his trying to keep us together and blaming me for everything that has happened and saying how people will talk if we divorced. But we are here to please Allah and not people. Nearly everyday I hear my husband telling me how he wants to be single or find another woman and in anger i ask.why did u marry me if u wanted to be single and chill out ?! He flirts with girls on social media and has no respect for me whatsoever. I feel like his love for me has been fake all this time and i feel betrayed and hurt by him. I feel he will never change even ppl who know him say that to as he has been this way for many years but his parents did not tell me the full truth about him before marriage. His mum said he is home 10pm every night when really he goes out at that times and comes home at half 12 or 1am! please help.
Q: We live in one area.. I have grown up and stayed all my life there.. My parents are nearby.. My friends.. Masjid where I offer my salats.. My wife says she is all alone the whole day and got no company.. It's not that she isn't provided with a shelter or security.. Now she wants to move to a place in an area where her sister's resides... She is pressurising the husband to let go of the current residence and move to the area where her sister's stay... Not that where we are currently staying is a bad place or the husband is denying her shelter.. And she is doing all this under the pretext that it's her right as a wife and I should comply... Is this jayaz permissible or has the husband got a right to give in to her demands..