asking for divorce

Q: I am 25 years old married having a 2 year old baby girl. I am from Iran (sunni-hanafi) but was born and brought up in Dubai. I was guiltly trapped into marriage thou I did not like my husband. I have a 10 years gap with my husband and we both are very different. I grew up in a religious family and his family is so fancy. Hence, he never liked me and even I couldn't feel any love towards him because he is so proud, always so angry and talks meanly. He does not like me to visit my relatives or go shopping he just wants me to stay home. He always makes fun of me and my family. He is always so suspicious. He does not love, respect or trust me. We even have communication problem. Every time we speak, we end up arguing because we always misunderstand each other. I don't feel comfortable talking to him because he gets angry quickly and says rude and mean stuff to me. He goes and tells his mom whatever happens at home and he doesn't pray. Only in the month of Ramadhan he will pray and fast 30 days and then not even go for Eid prayers. Rest of the 11 months he wont pray atall. Thou I keep telling him to pray and I always make dua and have even fasted 3 days for Allah to give him hidaya he always listens to music. He does not work his father pays are expenses.3 years have passed to our marriage and i havent seen any change in him.I have lost my paitence and im so tired.It has now reached to a point that i get disgusted when he touchs me and i get so furious when he talks to me and is around.i keep refusing when he calls me to bed. But he use to force me and i know its sin to refuse your husband so i use to let him thou inside it killed me.I tried to explain to him that the way he treats me has brought a big distance between us but he said that im just bringing up excuses because i dont love him and dont want to live with him and said if i dont want to live with him i can leave and not even think of asking for the baby.My mom suggested me to tell him that if he starts praying i will put a stone on my heart and stay with him for the sake of Allah.But he disagreed to it and said he will start from ramadhan.So i told him either you start praying or give me a divorce.i really dont believe him why not pray today why after 4 months and his like i will try to change but i have really lost hope in him.Then i decided to pray istikhara for a week and prayed to Allah to show me the way by that if he starts praying i will stay and if not i will leave.After a week i took my baby and went to my parents house. But he came and wanted to take my baby, my mom had guests that day so before he could make an issue she asked me to go with him.Thou he knows im thinking of separation he forces me to bed.I want to give it a chance just for the sake of my child because i know he won't let me have her if i separate. But mentally im very disturbed and depressed and im afraid as a wife i won't be able to do my duties i wont be able to obey him because i have really lost hope in him.Please help me decide.

Q: My father has been treating my mother with unnecessary banter and quarrels for about 20 years now. I don't remember a time in my house where we openly laughed. My father does not love my mother, because if he did he'd see the pain he's causing her. My father yells at my mother for no reason and accuses her of such she didn't do. He doesn't trust her as well. He's been causing her all this pain and she's been dealing with it just for her two daughters. I suggested she divorce him. My dad has had a previous wife as well which he divorced. What should I do? Should I convince my mom to get a divorce and be happy?

Q: My husband and I are not living together. He had me thrown out of our marital home when I was pregnant. He has also uttered talaaq and revoked it. He has since moved back to his ex wife who he irrevocably talaaq. He is aware they living in haraam and refuses to let me go. He has asked me for sex saying we can get a room to which I refused and he got angry. He doesn't see to any of my needs but expects me to have sex with him then he brings me back to my mother house and he goes back to his mistress. Do I have a right to refuse him. Because now he using the deen against me whereas he not living according to Allah laws.

Q: If you do not agree with the decision your husband has of wanting a second wife, just because you are carrying his second child while wanting a second wife and he gets upset. Can one still get a faskh?

Q: My husband drinks and gambles and has extra marital affairs with women, comes late at night three, four o'clock, does not give me and my daughters time, not even talk to me, always in anger, does not give me money, but he never beats me up or abuses, does not allow me to do job, but i'm totally fed up of his behaviour. Even I am in depression sometimes thinking of suicide. Can I seek divorce from him? How? What about sponsorship of daughters? Please guide me. Although I know Allah Ta'ala does not like divorce.

Q: Can a khula take place if the reason for khula is that the life style of groom and bride are not the same. And the bride doesn't ask for khula directly to her husband i.e groom instead it was asked to the grooms parents?

Q: I need to know whether in Islam a woman can ask for divorce from her husband when things become so difficult for her to bear? If yes, what is the procedure? If no, what can she do?

Q: I was a widow with three boys remarried due to financial problems. This man feeds well but he lies like anything. Hundred times he committed that he'll not lie and I am very much opposite to him. He won't give me anything in my hand and the rest of my money is also with him. He lies saying he took a property, but when I ask him to return my money he dodges. I am sick of his lies. He is a businessman. He loves food and spends a lot of money on hotels, parties charity but with me he won't make me feel secure. Please advise.

Q: My question is about second marriage. I have very good relation with my husband and his family. My husband loves me and our two daughters. My in-laws think that I am an ideal wife and ideal daughter in-law , however, my husband says that some men need more than one wife and recently he was seriously thinking about second marriage. I told him that if he wants a second wife, then he has to divorce me first. I have no problem with his getting married for two or three times but I do not want to be his wife in that case. He said he cannot leave me. As I know him, he loves me but he needs more wives as well. What would be my situation in Shariah if I refuse to keep marital relations with him?

Q: I have a marriage question. I am 23 years old. I got married last year but been engaged with my husband for 4 years. During our engagement we had a lot of arguments and one big argument about a year ago where he thought I was cheating on him so he wanted to break the engagement but his parents persuaded him not to. About six months after the wedding I found out the real reason for my husband wanted to end the engagement which was that he wanted to marry someone else but his parent kinda force him to marry me. Now he still speaks to that girl and when I confront him, he says that he's not speaking to her and wants a relationship with me and that it's all my fault because "I have a women's brain and he is loyal with me" and I try to do everything for this relationship to work but I'm not getting anything from him. One of the big reason that stresses me out is that he does not want to have children and when I talk about having children he makes excuses up that we are not financial stable or he doesn't like children. Also another thing is that I called my husband over to the UK from Pakistan and all my family is always saying how he is just looking to settle in the UK and get a visa and then he will leave me, I am so worried about this because I actually want this relationship to work but I don't know what his intentions are. I really love my husband and want him to love me back but if he loves someone else I don't want to be in the way of his happiness. Sometimes I think I should get a divorce because I don't want him to use me for the visa and then leave me. Couple of times I spoken to him to marry that girl but he just shuts me down. I am so confused about what to do. Can you please explain to me what I should do Islamicly? Shall I stay or leave him because this is hurting too much and everyday it's getting more hard and I dont know what to do?