suitor

Q: I heard in a bayan that Moulana Maseehullah Khan Sb (Rahmatullahi Alayh) got his daughter married to someone who outwardly didn't look pious, not a sunnah beard, no kurta, etc. Bbut he had good akhlaaq. The boy then changed his life thereafter.

The point being mentioned was that we shouldn't judge anyone. Good akhlaaq is most important for a prospective spouse.

1. Is this narration true? Did Moulana get his daughter married off to someone like that?

2. Please clarify if this type of thinking is incorrect.

Q: I am engaged but I am unclear about the boys deeni committments. I think he doesn't know much about deen as he says that he is a simple Muslim and thats it. Can you please guide me as to what questions should my family ask him in order for the the nikah to be valid? Is it necessary to question his aqaaid if he offers namaaz?

Q: I am writing in regards to a marriage proposal. I have met someone I like and he likes me and we want to get married, however we have a 15 year age difference. I am happy to go ahead and marry him and feel very positive about his character and personality and feel that we are similar in terms of maturity and mindset because I have always been mature for my age due to being the eldest child and not having a father growing up. My family like the guy and have no issues with him but are just a little worried about the age and if it will cause problems in the future. What should I do because I really want to marry him and him me because I feel that everything else is perfect for me and I like him and his character and deen and his family and his family have many age gap marriages from 10-18 years age gap and they are happy masha'allah so they have seen it work and are ok with it but my family are a little hesitant but they do really like him and his deen and character and said they have no problems with him otherwise. I would appreciate your advice on the matter. Jazakallah khair

Q: I am really confused. Everyone says that in life you can't focus too much on beauty when it comes to a potential suitor. Then, they say "no. But you have to be attracted to him". But then if I am not attracted to anyone except for a very specific few, then "no, you're being too fussy and need to lower your expectations in life" then when I say okay, how do I lower my expectations? How do I force myself to be attracted to somebody who doesn't really match up to what I had in mind? Then they say "No. don't lower your expectations, expect the best from Allah and have faith that he'll give you what you want" then I say okay fine I expect the best. Then they show me somebody and I can't find it in my heart to have the slightest bit of attraction towards them then they say "if you don't find this person good looking you need to lower your expectations" then I ask how , "no have faith in Allah, you'll get what you want" ... so I don't know what to do. first they say expect from Allah then they say lower your expectations. Which do I do and HOW? It's not as if I'm only focusing on looks, I want piety and looks in a person and I'm not willing to compromise on either. Money is not a main focus but looks and piety are. I have never spoken to any non mahrams much in life so i feel like why should my first relationship ever be with someone that is unappealing to my eye? It's not as if I feel deserving or entitled or think that I'm so holy for not ever engaging in haraam relations but I just think it might be a disappointment to have the one relationship you ever have be with someone you just can't seem to be attracted to. Also. If I read "Rabbana Hablana Min Azwajina Wa Dhhuriyatina Qurata A'yewnew waj Alna Lil mutaqina imaama" will I get someone who I find good looking? Because it's a dua for our spouses to be the coolness of our eyes and he can only be a coolness to my eyes if I am attracted to him right? And I will only be attracted to him if he meets my expectations which means that all I have to do is read this dua and have faith and not lower my expectations right?

Q: Can a Muslim girl above 18 years of age marry on her own to a practicing Muslim without any wali or without informing her parents. Will such a nikaah without any wali be valid?

Q: If the parents don't allow their child to marry on his own will; should the child also deny their choice of spouse?