Being possessive over one's wife

Q: My question is regarding my own personality which I think is like a dual personality or I am a selfish person. I love my wife and respect her as well but when I see her speaking to family members, I feel jealous. I mean even if she is with her brothers and sisters I get upset and I get stressed. I pray five times but still my mind is at unrest. Please I need your help.

Making the intention of nafl hajj

Q: Last year I had gone for hajj with my family (mother and wife). Before leaving for hajj (during it's preparation) I had made my wife owner of the amount which was to be spent on her for hajj (Rs.2.5 lakh). During the journey I instructed her to make niyat for Fardh Hajj as she was made owner of money. But by mistake she made niyat for Nafl Hajj and completed the Hajj journey. I would like to ask whether the Hajj she did would be counted as Fardh or Nafl. If Nafl, does she have to do Fardh Hajj now again. At present neither me nor she has any money. She has only her jewellery. If ruling is for Fardh Hajj and either me or she dies before doing it, then what happens. I would like to make it clear it was 1st Hajj for myself and wife.

Hurmat-e-musaaharah

Q: I am a 19 year old male and currently studying Aalim course. A few years ago I had touched my mother with lust and I have finished reading the conditions through which hurmate-e-musaaharah will take place (i.e. if she had a cloth on which was thick and the heat of the body could be felt, etc). However I'm not so sure if the conditions took place or not because of it being a while ago however I have Ghaalib-e-Gumaan that the conditions took place. Is there any way out for me? Do I have to confess? Will Allah Ta'ala forgive me for this despicable sin even if I don't confess?

Giving zakaat to refugees

Q: There are a lot of refugees currently needing support. Would it be ok to use part of the zakaat for buying products that are needed e.g diapers for the babies and donating these products as part of zakaat? Products are collected centrally and distributed amongst the refugees at that location.