Getting to know the girl before marriage

Q: There is this ayah in the Quran "and that each person will only have what they endeavoured towards".

I understand that it is about afterlife and has nothing to do with wordly affairs. One of my friends used this in the context that you have to make effort to find a spouse and for that they were willing to get into talking stage with someone in the absence of a wali. Do I have to make an effort in finding a spouse and is talking to someone for that matter allowed?

Irregular bleeding

Q: I started my period on 24th September and it’s been 12 days now and it’s still spotting so is it counted as period or istihadha? I am 49 years old and I also started premenopause so my period is not always regular. It is like it comes for a few months then it stops for a few months but recently it’s been coming on since 3 months. I am confused if I start praying namaz or not.

Having a tea invitation before the nikaah for those who cannot attend

Q: What is the status of what has now become a norm where a girl who is making nikaah holds a tea invitation a few days/week before her nikaah. They say that they do it as their numbers for walimah are limited and thus cannot invite everyone they'd like to like neighbour's, friends, etc.

Is this allowed? What should one do if one is invited to such a tea? It's a simple tea where they serve savouries etc., no intermingling, however it is done for the above mentioned reason.