Advice

Q: I am working as a govt. lecturer in a reputable univeristy and earning well. My husband belongs to a mixed family (father and two brothers are shia and mother, sisters are sunni). My husband follows sunni and thats why he married a sunni girl. Now one of his shia brothers came permanently from Dubai and he follows his shia acts specially in Muharram like majlis, matam, loud marsiay, etc. I have a two year old boy and I am worried about him. My husband does not pay any attention if I complain about these issues.

In addition, in my absence, my room is mostly used by my in laws who sit in my room and watch TV and sleep there also during my office hours. I complained about it to my husband but again he doesnt care about it. He provides financial support to his family (mother, two sisters, one elder unmarried brother, and one married shia brother, his wife and kids). My husband pays the rent and other utility bills for our home and joint family.

From my university, I have been aloted a house within the university premises and I asked my husband to shift here with me so that it can provide ease to me and most importantly our son can be brought-up away from shiasm. It has been more than six months that I am trying to convince him but nothing seems to work despite the fact that a handsome amount is being deducted from my salary. He does not want to move away from his family, especially his shia brother.

I am tired of convincing him. Kindly guide me in this regard.

Q: I face peculiar problems with my ibadah. One of it whichever room I choose to pray in it people tend to like it and try to stay there. Such as I used to pray in my room without any disturbance but my mother liked my room and wanted to stay there. As it was my mother and though it was difficult to leave my room I left and prayed and stayed in my mother's room. But all her and my sister's things are in there and there is an attached bathroom which my mother and my sister use and a balcony. So they always come and go and if I am in my salah it irritates me a lot. Also I like to spend some time on my own without any disturbance which I cannot get. Now after experiencing so much disturbance there and realized that I can't manage with my temper, I started praying in the drawing room. Alhamdulillah I don't face those problems here and can pray without disturbance. Now my sister is saying that she wants to study here though she has her own room. She says that she feels comfortable to read here and her place is very hot. This makes me angry and everyone is noticing that. Now I am in a conflict in me that I should sacrifice and give other's more importance than me and as she thinks I am pious and my behavior can have great impact on her, on the other hand my salah and also my mood is going to be affected. This has left me with such pain. I always face struggles with regard to praying salah. It is very annoying that I always have to choose between akhlak and ibadah. Please give me some advice about this matter.

Q: I am a teenager and have an online account where I try helping others who suffer from depression, suicidal behavior, etc. It is an anonymous account so others do not know that I am Muslim. I always get asked for advice, but this time I need it myself for someone who suffers from intense depression. A girl asked me, how does she come out as bisexual to her homophobic parents? I haven't really answered her question, seeing as it's completely against Islam, but I don't want to mention my religion so quick because it'd put Islam and Muslims in a bad light. However, I can't go against Islam either. Please help. Maybe it's a chance for da'wah?

Q: I am married for 29 years with 5 children. All are grown up now. 15 years ago my husband stopped sleeping with me and stopped all activities of married life with me but we both live in one house in separate rooms. We are together because of the kids. Are we still husbsnd and wife or is our relationship affected? He hates me and don’t want to live with me. He said that our nikaah is no more because he did not come close to me for 15 years.

Q: I want to know about how my dealings should be towards my step daughters. My husband has 3 daughters from his deceased wife. They are all grown up adult girls. 2 of them are married and the last one is also grown up. It would have been easier and I have tried it but the last daughter has got an arrogant and negative attitude sometimes. What should I do?

Q: If a sinful muslim has too many problems and issues in life, are they tests or punishment from Allah?

Q: If a person believes in Allah, salah, fasting, zakah, hajj, etc. and all the compulsory things but does't practice them, is he still a Muslim and would he enter Jannah one day?

Q: I want advices. Whenever I hear or read about hoors I became depressed. I read hadiths about their beauty, perfume, singing, skin colour etc. I'm dark and I had hurtful comments about this (it seemed that I had a trauma when I read about hoors the first time) and I suffer of hirsutism.

I grew up with the idea that a soul was united with her/his half. Not a soul united with several people. I believed in a monogamous marriage where a person desires ONLY one not others. Like a princess gets his prince, not that the princess had to share with others. I know that men desire women. I know that but I can't go through this. I don't know what to do, even hearing the words relating to hoors I became upset. It's difficult to read Qur'an and hadiths, somehow I became demotivated to continue when I read hoors and it's becoming difficult to continue. Whenever I come across the verses about them, it seems that I'm self-lesioning...

Every time, a youtube video about them comes in the homepage I say to myself that I shouldn't be upset and then end up watching it and being hurt again. Everytime.... Men seem to be joyous and joke about it, like they don't mind that this thing hurts others... I'm so broken down and depressed. It happens everytime, and everytime I feel I'm distancing from Allah. I'm scared...

But I am so tired... when reading about them. Everybody seems to joke. But I take it seriously. So please don't be harsh, because it's already difficult. Be compassionate in my regards please.

Q: I need some help. I'm 23 years of age and from a conservative Muslim minority. My problem started when I was younger and I was introduced to porn movies and masturbation. I need your advice.

Q: Suppose a man came and sat in the masjid. He had torn pants above the thigh. Another man saw him and was trying to correct him, suddenly he got the thought that if he is sure that awrah uncovred will be invalidating prayer? He could not get any hadith or ayah that time in his mind. He became uncertain. So should he correct or not?