Advice

Helping someone go to USA for work

Q: I live in Saudi Arabia and halaaat of Saudi Arabia are not good. Most Pakistanis and Indians are going to their countrys and one of my friends came to me that and said that we should go to USA. I said ok I will tell you my procedure how to visit visa so we were discussing about how to make file and interview in Saudi Arabia will be asked so other beards people were with me and they dislike me that why I sending them to America . Do u know what they did with us i can feel that they were disappointed at me that I am favour . So I clear them that it is not sin to go America . They are going for earning money . I hope u understand what they meant . That america all are dushman and we should not go there and they were saying me that u saying like this . I just wana know should I help them out to send USA or stop it . As You are mufti and better know then us . I am jahal and learner person .

Lying to one's father

Q: When I was about 11 or 12, my father lost his job. I was very sad but then he got a job in another country. I was very happy to go to my country again after 4 years of war so I woke up one day and told my uncle that I dreamt that dad got the job but I didn't really dream it. I was very stupid so he went for the job and stayed living alone for 4 years and now I regret it. I didn't know how life goes and now I feel very bad but at the same time I feel very shy to go up to him and tell him that I lied to you 4 years ago, like he's my father so I don't know what to do.

Begging Allah Ta'ala for a pious and suitable spouse

Q: I have undergone a situation in my life. I want you to interpret, and where possible comment on it and make dua.

A few months back two proposals came to my door at the same time. One proposal was of the boy who is my teacher and likes me. He sent his mother to see me. The other one was of a random boy who lives nearby. His mother also came to see me. Coincidently, they both arrived at the same time and I was sitting in front of both. These two ladies were actually relatives and knew each other. They were also talking to each other over other worldly things. They both left. After a few months, the other lady (not my teacher's mother) came to officially approve the rishta and asked for our approval. My mother did istikhara for this proposal and did not see anything on the first day. The next day she did the same istikhara procedure and after fajr prayers she saw that the boy with whom I am supposed to get engaged was hugging me but deep in heart he knew I did not love him and I love my teacher (whose mother came to see me that day in front of his mother). My mother was confused. Therefore, she asked a learned person to do istikhara on our behalf and he said that istikhara was satisfactory and that we may proceed. We accepted the proposal and said yes in a few days. In this time, my teacher's proposal did not show any progress. A small scale engagement took place and we made a bond with each other, just after this, things began to get worse. My in laws behaved well but by all their doings began to show that they have no interest in us. My mother in law did not use to call me and on the eid day, did not bother to call and say eid mubarak to me. We followed all the customs and did all the good with them but their response was never satisfactory. She used to talk well, asked us if we can sit for the wedding date but never sat. Whatever we gifted to them was unused. As if they knew they cannot continue and did not want to keep us happy. We tried ignoring until a few days back she called me to her house for dinner and after a few days, my father in law came to my dad and said our boy does not want to marry. He wanted to break and that day everything was over.

Mufti sahab I was not wrong. I was very sincere with these people. I dont know what happened with me in this whole time. After years of prayers, I was blessed with a proposal returning and things proceeding but ultimately I am back where I was. I want you to please look at my situation if you can find any connection of this happening with previous event or my mother's dream. And please make some dua for my future.

Attending a wedding with a mixed gathering

Q: I have a family wedding where I know there will be a mixed gathering and music. I spoke to the family member and asked to be excused from the wedding but in return she said she will be upset and will never forget I did not attend her daughters wedding and cannot excuse me from attending. I explained the only reason for not attending is due to fear of sin and to abide by what Allah Ta'ala has commanded. From our conversation I believe she will no longer have anything to do with me if I do not attend. This situation is causing me great anxiety. On one hand I do not want Allah Ta'ala to be displeased with me and on the other I do not want the family member to break ties either, what do I do? 

Family problems

Q: My mother sold her house without asking me and my wife. Suddenly we got shock that she sold house. My wife sent a whatsapp massage to my sister and cursed all. One of my brother' s wife got naraz. When we were going to Umrah we came to know she was naraz with us. My wife called for sorry. She forgave but broke the relation and told she will not keep any relation....in fact they sold house without asking us....my wife became emotional and cursed them. Now after three years we come to our country they did not come to pick at airport we already informed them ....did not try to meet. In fact we went to their door but did not call us. In fact I invited them on Eid breakfast but my brother's wife did not come. My brother came but did not eat any thing. Please guide me according to Islam. We want to keep the relation but they did not take a single step. Please guide us who is sinner?

Marrying someone who is 15 years older

Q: I am writing in regards to a marriage proposal. I have met someone I like and he likes me and we want to get married, however we have a 15 year age difference. I am happy to go ahead and marry him and feel very positive about his character and personality and feel that we are similar in terms of maturity and mindset because I have always been mature for my age due to being the eldest child and not having a father growing up. My family like the guy and have no issues with him but are just a little worried about the age and if it will cause problems in the future. What should I do because I really want to marry him and him me because I feel that everything else is perfect for me and I like him and his character and deen and his family and his family have many age gap marriages from 10-18 years age gap and they are happy masha'allah so they have seen it work and are ok with it but my family are a little hesitant but they do really like him and his deen and character and said they have no problems with him otherwise. I would appreciate your advice on the matter. Jazakallah khair

Marital problems

Q: I am married from last 4 years and have no kids. My wife is from a big city and she always has a will to settle at her home city, but I was not ready. In 3rd year of marriage, she managed to take me to her home-parental city to settle. But then, she use to avoid me, spend times with her friends and relatives only not with me. She use to roam here and there like any college girl and avoids me.. Nor she cook food for me , nor she sleep nor even talk for an hours in a day to me & she use to insult me , directly - indirectly. NOT LISTENING TO ME IN SUPPORTS OF HER FAMILY - JUST AVOIDING ME , WHICH KEEPS ME HURTING & SURPRISING... So I decide to come back to my native place city and she refuse then ... she didn't come till date & from last 13-14 month I am waiting for her to come back . Intentionally She is not talking to me nor coming to my home s…..…..in an wish that she will not live with me at my parental house and forcing me settle at her maternal city, where i am not comfortable my whole family tried to talk her and ask her to come back … We have put an middle man to solve the issue and make them talk...but no result , whereas...... On the other-side her family starts creating Negative scene against me…. and her brother keep asking that middle man that we will file fake case of Dowry & domestic violence ..etc Till now i did not want to give her divorce but No response is coming from her & her family members --- we are totally BLANK from last 13-14 month , how to go about. Now we offer them , if she want an end-ship, she should give me divorce from her side , I am not give from my side to avoid to bear the legal consequences But Nor she is coming back and nor giving me Divorce !! How to Go about safer Solution , ........... Pls advice what to do in this situation... What is a FATWA advice for men like me : to get rid and free me from this lady and save my life.

Method of getting over haraam love

Q: I've landed my self in a real big problem in which I feel like I have no escape.

I turned to the local imam of my masjid for help regarding problems in my marriage. Over the space of 2/3 years we would talk regularly near enough daily. To the point we started falling in love with each other. Eventually he confessed how he felt and I also said how I felt and after this we met up once when we kissed however we realised it couldn't be and we broke off. But he went and lied to my husband and everyone that I had to tried to come on to him I told my husband the truth and he believed me and stuck by me. But for the past one year I have been struggling to get over and forget him. And I feel like I'm messing my whole life up over this one person but I feel like I can't see sense. I can't approach my shaykh as the imam involved is also bayt with my shaykh and he told him his side of the story and I also said mine he advised me to change my number etc which I have done but I feel like my heart is so corrupt. I try to forget him but I can't. I feel like I don't love my husband but only sticking by him because of our children. I feel so lost and broken and I feel like I'm destroying myself and humbly request your guidance