Q: I live with my mother who is mentally and physically abusive to me and my siblings. Last year, she broke my nose, she has called me ugly and stupid and worthless my whole life. She pushes me to do things that are detrimental to my mental health - like marrying someone 11 years older or getting into med school.
I want to leave my household and make a life for myself so that I don’t constantly feel suicidal and can do some good in this world. But in order to leave, I must apply to programs that I do not have the qualifications for - there is a program that requires me to have one year work experience and I only have 6 months.
Even though I do not want to lie, I was wondering if it might be permissible for me to do so in this situation just to help my chances of getting out my house?
A: A mu'min should never lose hope, despite the circumstance he/she may be in. Rather, he/she should turn to Allah Ta'ala and beg Allah Ta'ala for His special grace and mercy.
We advise you to speak to the elders of your family and ask them to assist you to get married to a pious and suitable spouse who will be good for you in your deen and dunya.
It is not safe for a woman's deen and respect for her to work in a corporate environment, rubbing shoulders with males. However, if you are able to get a job where you are not exposed to men and your deen and respect will not be at risk, then with observing all the laws of purdah, it will be permissible for you to take up such employment.
We advise you to be good to your mother, and after salaah, make dua that Allah Ta'ala improves your relationship with your mother and grants you both guidance, happiness and success. May Allah Ta'ala assist you and bless you with happiness.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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