Would a couple be responsible if they don't know hurmat-e-musaaharah was established?

Q: Would a couple be responsible if they don't know that another person has impacted their marriage? For example, (may Allah protect us all from this) if a daughter touched her father with lust but neither her father or mother know about this, would they be responsible? Would the daughter be sinning if she doesn't tell them as it could have disastrous impact on the family? Would her parents be sinning as they don't know? 

Is an erection required for hurmat-e-musaaharah?

Q: A generic question about "hurmat e musahara". I know lust is defined as the erection of the penis. Does slight movement in the penis, similar to what happens during kegel also cause hurmat e musahara when erection does not properly occur/no full erection occurs. I get anxiety and I'm scared. I'm more or less certain that I've never had a proper erection while touching my mother, but at the same time I'm scared of slight movements in the penis that may have occurred in the past - movements that may have occured due to my mental condition. Especially since the idea of potentially negatively impacting my parents is often on my mind when any physical contact occurs with my mother. A slightly detailed and clear answer on this issue could make the matter clearer to me as often I'm not sure what constitutes lust and it makes the matter tough for me. I'd like to think that I do not in any way want to engage in intercourse with my mother and the idea is reprehensible to me. It's after I started reading fatwa on these that these thoughts have significantly started bothering me. 

Asking fatwas from someone that one has confidence in

Q: There is a local mufti or two I'm close with - they are both teachers in madrasah. One of them is a Khatib in a masjid and the other is an imam. They are known for their knowledge and piety. If I get questions pertaining to these should I consult with one of them? I think I'm more comfortable with that as it's easier to express oneself in person. I had previously asked question(s) pertaining to both of them and their answers gave me comfort. Would it be better if I consult one or both of them on this issue and others, especially with regards to my mental state, instead of questioning scholars online for fatwa? Will I be sufficiently fulfilling my responsibility? 

Fardh and sunnah acts of wudhu

Q:

1. What are fard acts of wudhu? If I want to wash my face and there is some sweat on my face, can I make my hand wet then wipe my face or washing my face is required?

2. Also, if I were to wash my arms or face, normally I wet my hand and touch the tap to close it and wipe my face after touching tap. The tap was wet due to me closing it, so is my wudu valid since my hand had mustamil (used water )?

3. Also when doing masah, if my hand touched my wet face and that water also came in doing masah is my wudu valid? (Here also mustamil water)

4. Is doing wudu in steps compulsory or not?

5. Is it compulsory to complete the wudu before the hands and face get dry?

Keeping the name Inabia

Q: I kept my daughters name Inabia. I checked its meaning from the internet. It means "one who turn stowards Allah" and it is an Arabic word. When I asked the Arab people working with me on the ship, they said that they never heard this name and they don't know the meaning. Please explain whether this name is correct or should I change it.