Masaail relating to intimacy

Phone sex

Q: I got married in April and my rukhsati will be in October. During this time period canI talk to my wife on the phone or can we do phone sex?

Can we both masturbate while having phone sex?

Wife refusing to sleep with husband when he is drunk

Q: I am a revert to Islam for the past five years now so my knowledge is limited. I would just like to know if it is haram or anything the like for a wife to not sleep with her husband in the same bed since he stays out of the house over weekends and doesn't come home. I don't know what he does and who he might be with when he does not come home. Am I transgressing by not sleeping with him?

He also drinks alcohol and does not make salah sometimes. He tells me that it is haram for me to refuse to sleep in the same bed with him. I am very confused and very heart broken.