Advice

Going through challenges after changing one's life

Q: Earlier in my past life when I didn't have much understanding of deen, I felt like I'm free from challenges and tests. After following deen Alhamdulilla I feel like life gives me tests at every step. One finishes and the other is on my door step. What is this Ustadh?

I'm confused. Is this a sign that My Rabb is not happy with me that's why I'm encountering one test after the other?

Getting to know the girl before marriage

Q: There is this ayah in the Quran "and that each person will only have what they endeavoured towards".

I understand that it is about afterlife and has nothing to do with wordly affairs. One of my friends used this in the context that you have to make effort to find a spouse and for that they were willing to get into talking stage with someone in the absence of a wali. Do I have to make an effort in finding a spouse and is talking to someone for that matter allowed?

Pre marital relationship

Q: I have been speaking to a girl online and we have tried to stop speaking many times and I totally regret the sin and wanted to conceal it so I didn’t tell anyone but it gets difficult because we find ourselves falling back into the sin and we want to get married. The only thing stopping is my parents so I told my parents about the situation even though I never wanted anyone to know because I wanted to conceal my sin, thinking they would assist me into getting married. However my parents have still not given me an answer and they think I’m too immature to get married and that I don't read all my Salaahs which I try my very best to perform all the time and the girl has accepted me the way I am. Can Mufti Saab please advise me.

Assuming the worst in any situation

Q: Recently, I realised that I think catastrophically. I always assume the worst and anticipate the worst situations which never occur.

I know this bad habit did not appear suddenly, but I had some really bad experiences that came out of the blue which caught me offguard. Now, this habit in the way I think is affecting my life.

I am only 19 and I feel this habit is creating destruction within my home and I fear that it will affect my future even more.

How can I remove this negative way of thinking? 

Feeling despondent and hopeless

Q: I am suffering with a lot of pressure and I also have alot of problems. My family is not that family who has peace. We will never have peace only if Allah wills.

I lost two of my friends, meaning they stopped talking to me. I feel like I did something wrong which I didn't. They make me feel unworthy to live. I feel ugly. I feel like nobody loves me anymore. I don't know what to do please help me as I might just kill myself.