Making tawbah
Q: Five years ago when I was 13 years old we went abroad. My sister was 11 years old and we were considered as kids and therefore shared 1 room and slept on 2 beds combined together and had one blanket. I at that point of time knew nothing about zina and all these thing related to zina indeed I barely knew anything as I was 13. I didn't want to go to school in grade 5 as it was a new school so I would cry at night but silently and once when everybody was sleeping I was awake as I didn't want to go to school and I got this weird feeling about opposite gender and bear in mind i knew nothing. So my sister was sleeping so i put my hand inside her clothes and tried to touch her body parts but i dont think so i touched although i out my hand inside but i dont remember that i touched all her body parts but i tried and then put her hand on my main point. I hdnt intend to do it but it just happened i wonder why. After that nothing happened and i didnt have any regrets and but now after 5 years when i am 18 i have realized that i did such a bad thing and sometimes i feel very bad but then i think i was 13 wasnt a boy i was a kid i knew nothing about these things and was innocent but then i feel no matter what i shall be punished i have told my parents and they forgave me and told me to move on but i feel very bad and tensed. So maulana sb tell me is it something i will be punished for i have prayed and cried for my forgiveness and when i am tensed my mom constantly tells me to move on or satan will succeed and make you mental. She says whats done is done and you didnt do it now at the age of 18, you did it 5 years ago. And sometimes i do feel bad but then i think that boys or girls develop at the ages of 14 or 15 and girls or boys dont develop physically at the age of 11 or 13 so I then think that my sister was also small and me too plus I didnt commit zina so just forget it and just move on but then again i feel bad and tensed so maulana sb tell me what to do and is it really something that should be taken into account or that was just foolish childhood? Sir give me a detailed reply i need your help and is this tensed and bad feeling coming because of Allah or satan and i am sure that Allah will forgive me because i was innocent i knew nothing and plus i didnt have bad intentions it just happened coz i was awake and just happened once. And sometimes i feel i have ruined my sisters life and because i touched her and that i have ruined her life but then i think girls dont develop physically at the age of 11 so just forget it. My dad said just move on and forget it just happened because you were young in the sense that i was small because i didnt have wet dreams at the age of 13 i had them later and i had no physical changes in my body so just move on.