Advice

Q: My mum is refusing to marry me to a woman because she didn't find her pretty and she didn't like the girl's family. She says that they are dangerous and that the girl is not good (not respectful). But I know from mutual friends that the girl is righteous and she does her best to follow Islam, even if she doesn't wear Hijab. My mother had heard from a lot of families here that the girl's family is quite special and she doesn't like that. So she is arguing with me to not marry this girl. What should I do? I know from personal sources that the girl's family won't give her hand to me if I don't come with my whole family. Please tell me what should I do?

Q: I would like you to take a look at the following websites and tell if they are suitable and reliable to take information from:

1. www.pearlsoftaqwa.wordpress.com

2. www.spiritofsunnah.blogspot.com

3.www.hameediyyah.blogspot.com

I find these sites very useful and would like if you could just confirm whether they are suitable or not deeni-wise?

Q: I am 14 years old and I am going through a lot of depression in my life. I am very unconfident and find it hard to make friends at school. I have no one to talk to or share my problems with. I used to have my cousin but i feel like i cant trust her as much as before. My dad shows a lot of hatred towards me and I have never known why. I think it is because I am girl because he loves my 11 year old brother a lot. My brother is the completely opposite to me. I have tried to share my problems with him but all he does is makes fun of me and now I regret it. My mum is the only person who I love but I can't share my problems with her because she doesn't understand English and she wont be able to help me. I have these other cousins which hate me and my dad treats them like his own children he distances me away from him but he tries to get closer with them. They always show off with the money they have and all of the things they have. They try to make my life hell they just make my life really stressful. Their mum tries and acts like my mum and says things against my mum so I turn against her and they do the same to my brother. I just want them to stay away from our family so we can lead a better life. They also try and create fights between my mum and her siblings but it never works and thats when they start with me. My dad just listens to them and takes there side and I get into so much trouble for what I haven't even done. I just wish that you can make duaa for me to make friends and make me read my namaaz with my full concentration and my cousins family leave us alone. Thanks for taking time out and reading it and I hope you can reply soon with a duaa to make some friends that I can trust. Please can you help me.

Q: I have a question about zina. For example there is a man named Adnan and a woman named Fatimah. Fatimah calls Adnan and asks him to come over. Now Adnan is scared he might to do zina with her. So he ejaculates without a partner. Is ejaculating worse then zina or would the sin had been lessened if he had gone to her? And also Adnan isn't capable to get married so was it ok for him to ejaculate without a partner from the intention of saving himself from doing zina? Of course it isn't permissible to ejaculate without a partner (istimbaat fil yad) but was it ok for him to do it that one time to save himself from zina? Should he have made sabr or was it ok for him to do that?

Q: I would like to go for a fasagh. As I am not happy and is afraid of my husband. He hurts me emotionally and physically. I am his second wife and most of the time he is with his first wife. We share a son together and he hardly has time for him. He has four other kids from his first wife and spends more time with them which hurts me as I can see the yearning in my sons eyes to spend time with his father as he is only three. I have embraced Islam almost 4 years ago and I have too google my religion as my husband does not salaah or even teaches my son. I don't know what more. He has never lifted his hands to me before but ever since he went on drug with the first wife he treats me and my son crap and hurts me. What can I do. I need help desperately. I have never went to the hospital or logged a case against him. I work and he sits at home.

Q: If a person commits a sin does tawba repeats sin again does tawba again and then feels very guilty. What should be done? Also is there any dua for getting rid of frequent wet dreams?

Q: I want to know, if I like someone but he did not propose for me yet. Can I make istikhara before getting his proposal to know whether my choice is right or not?

Q: If husband doesn't pray and wife gets angry for that time and doesn't want to talk to her husband, is this allowed?

Q: I have been married for three years and have two babies. My husband is abusive, drinks and might be having affairs as well. He says he wants this marriage to work but I can't live in Pakistan being born from UK as he takes advantage of me there. People say he is mad as the way he behaves makes my life very very hard to compromise. He has bipolar and shouts and fights without any real reasons. Please I would love him to be normal again. What should I do or read?