Advice

Illicit relationship

9 years ago By admin

Q:

1. I was unfortunately involved in an illicit relationship with a girl who was in the same class as me. This was last year and it was the final year. With the Fazal Karam and Ihsaan of Allah Ta'ala I changed my life. Allah Ta'ala gave me the Taufeeq to not let my gaze fall on this female from just before Ramadan till now. The only contact we had after Allah Ta'ala guided me was I sent her an email with past exam papers which seemed to me as a necessity. May Allah Ta'ala keep us guided and save us from the traps of naffs and shaytaan the accursed. However, before turning away, the human feeling of emotion made me tell her that I would still want to marry her, etc. I don't know if she is "waiting for me" or what. After listening to advices and bayanaat of the pious, I would like to do my nikaah as right as possible and in in a manner that's most pleasing to Allah Ta'ala so it can be full of barqat. Something that started of with haraam can not be the best way to go forward. My heart is not inclined towards something that was a means of me displeasing Allah Ta'ala. What should I do? I have intention of settling down Insha Allah.

2. I had a dream of my madressa principal saheb (D.B) informing me that he was fortunate to have me as a student in his madressa. The total opposite is true.

Haraam relationship

9 years ago By admin

Q: I am a 26 year old boy from India. I have a non-muslim (Hindu) girl friend 25 years old since 5 to 6 years. I explained her about Islam and its beauty. She got a lot of knowledge about Islam and now we want to marry and live together. But we have two problems in our way:

1. My family doesn't know about our relationship so far and my father is a heart patient, he faced a heart attack recently. Due to Indian culture and society he will never allow us to live together.

2. If I leave the girl then she will have to go back to her past and I am afraid her family will marry her with a non-muslim boy and she will not able to become a Muslim in the future after knowing facts about Islam. I am confused, if I marry her my father may not able to face this situation. Please give me the best solution. I want to know what is best in the way of Allah.

Fantasizing

9 years ago By admin

Q: I have one question that recently I used to think about having zina with different girls but it was only a thought. I never even think of doing it in real. So is it haram is islam?

Joining the family business

9 years ago By admin

Q: I am from India. This academic year my graduation will be completed. I was planning for higher education. My parents want me to join in the family business. I am so helpless because higher education is my passion; without my passion I can't live comfortably. I actually mean I won't be alive. Since my parents are angry with my weird attitude they took me to a Mufti nearby. He suggests me to live up to my parents wish. I need an independent life. Is being independent a crime? What should I do?

Marital problems

9 years ago By admin

Q: What do I do. This is what my husband sent to me as as result of an argument we had about being intimate or the lack of intimacy. I must admit that I mistook sex for love. I watched porn yes. Sometimes the feeling of sex is great satisfactory fulfilling and sometimes the feeling of making love is beautiful. "I must also admit that I do get tired of having sex, or making love with the same person for 26 years, but it is my duty as a husband to deal with this. I also have a problem showing affection at times(most of the time)."

Taking Darul Uloom students for an outing

9 years ago By admin

Q: There is a small darul uloom here in Johannesburg. They are planning an "outing" for the ustads and students. They will hire a bus and be travelling to the kruger park. Leaving on Friday and returning on Sunday. Is this ok? Is it not copying the kuffar, they call it excursion. Is there such a thing that the students need an "outing". In summer they arranged for the students and ustads to go to the public swimming pool and gave them take away pizzas and cold drink thereafter. My husband is at this Madrassah. Please advice me if all this is correct and what advice can I give my husband.

Marital problems

9 years ago By admin

Q: I am sending you a problem of my friend. In her first marriage she was very happy with the person whom she loved, he was flirtatious by nature but made her happy by all means but divorced her after two years as he got good opportunity of re marriage on the basis of that she did not bleed first night. She was heart broken and married again, born 2 kids, but her husband is physically, sexually and financially weak by all means and now life has become hell for her and she has no way out. What does Islam says if a woman gets no satisfaction, happiness and finances from her husband? She can't get divorce second time as this is taboo in society. Please don't be harsh and give her a reasonable solution which will bring happiness in her life.

Premarital relationship

9 years ago By admin

Q: My question is that I met a Muslim guy online and we fell love in last year. He used to support Islam on the internet just like me but somehow we fell in love. Then suddenly he started abusing Islam astaghfirullah and he made friends with atheists. When I asked him about his behaviour, he says he is just trollig the atheists. I think this is silly. He makes fun of the Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) but at the same time he fasts and prays too. I love him a lot but he treats me bad and ignores me a lot but still he says he loves me. What kind of love is this sir? And tell me a dua so I can forget him.

Wazifa for good character

9 years ago By admin

Q: My father was abused when he was younger, so he in turn abused my mother (mentally, financially) and he did so to me as well as I am the eldest of 3 girls.  He has bad character and when he shows some goodness, it turns sour. As I grew older I looked deeper into it and I saw that his character shows signs of a narcissism and then about 3 years ago I started looking at myself and questioning my character and I too realized I am also a narcissist.  I read that a persons character is partially from the DNA and mostly from your upbringing environment.  On the one hand my dad was harsh and cruel and on the other hand my mom was too soft and pitied me and she made me so weak and at times I remember her being cruel with me as well which I understand as she was taking her frustrations out on me of her suffering and unhappiness with my dad.  My whole existence is confusing because the one moment I do a good deed and I feel in my heart that I have good character and kindness like my mom but then the evil side creep in then I get bad thoughts and intentions. I am sick. I hate myself because I hurt my husband and children. I didn't had to get married and have children because I hurt them and they do not need this, I did not know this at the time. Alhamdulilah my husband is a good person, a good son and son in law and a good friend and husband. My children alhamdulilah are both healthy and beautiful mashaAllah but I am ungrateful. Please help, I don't want to hurt them. Here are a few of my bad characteristics: (Selfish,Socially inept, antisocial, Suspicious,Sneaky, dishonest, Weak, Moody, bipolar, Judgemental, Proud, Jealous, envious, Ego, Defensive, hard headed, quick to get angry,Devoid of love and empathy, Evil thoughts,Despise people, hate, Depressed, Regret, Nostalgic.)

I don't want to have bad character, but how do I rid it if its me?  I want to love my family, husband and children but I feel so angry and irritated when I look at them. I want to love them and feel empathy when they hurting but I hate it when they share their feelings of pain with me, its like I cant tolerate it and I don't want this feeling, I want to love them. I hurt my husband and children before by hitting them and abusing them when I got angry or felt selfish.  I get evil ugly thoughts which I also don't want.

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