Advice

Q: I want to ask the most important question of my life. Please answer me. I am married since 12 years. I have three daughters. My husband is nice, takes care of me and our girls but he has just one very bad habit; he talks to other women on the net and phone and he talks real bad things and these ladies I don't understand want kind of women they are. I don't know if he has any physical relations too or not. It's very painful. I have tried every thing. He himself says that there is nothing missing in me but he just can't leave this habit and he don't want to leave it too. What should I do? Should I stay in this marriage as I have 3 daughters who need their father or should I leave? I personally don't want to end my marriage but its not easy to tolerate all this what should I do?

Q: I am very tensed due to a few circumstances in the home now. When I was married my husband was earning and all his income went on my sister in-law's high fee, their dresses and other stuff and my mother in-law kept all his money saved. For full four years my husband gave me nothing and we saved nothing and then my son began to go to school and and then the other expenditures started along with the birth of second child. My husband's other brothers they also started working and what they earned they saved and now they have enough money. My mother in-law has enough money to spend on herself, but my husband who gave all what he has to his family is now hand to mouth. I always believe that virtue comes back to its doer but this happened not in my case. My in-laws are against me because they are not enjoying my husbands money because of our own expenditures. I am tensed because I have to do a job to bear the expenditures and my husband is tensed that we have saved nothing and his support is never regarded in the family. The only thing which my dewar did is to get a ups for the whole family and my saas tell this to all eveytime every day and my husband who used to keep all the money in his mom's hand, she has said nothing in her favour. Before my dewar's wedding I was the only target of my saas, she used to scold me but after wedding she had seen the new bahu's behaviour. She is a bit changed towards me but why I suffered so harsh for 10 years? Why was I unfortunate enough to bear and face all that?

Q: Is it permissible to learn Modern Standard Arabic (MSA) from a non-Muslim?

Q: I have a relative whose husband to be proposed to her and is planning to leave S.A to study deen in Saudi Arabia. Is it advisable for him to leave everything behind? The boy is very much interested in the girl and wants to make nikaah but he says the best way to get full benefit of deen is from Saudi Arabia to study there. His mind is set on leaving but the girl is trying to show him how it won't be a good idea. (e.g. Salafis, method of obtaining deeni ilm) Please do advise.

Q: My Husband is impotent and his behaviour is very bad with me. Actually this is his second marriage and he is psycho also. I want khula please help me mufti sahab, he always teases me, shouts and scolds me. I even can't talk with my parents. We are separate for the last three years and I will not go back. Please help me.

Q: When conducting Taleem at home, I recite tasmiya before starting to read from Fazaail-e-Amaal. My father gets very angry and shouts at me saying that I must ta'wuz along with the tasmiya. I explained to him that ta'wuz is to be recited before recitation of the Qur'an, yet he is not satisfied with this. In all the bayaans and kitaab-readings I have attended, I have never heard anyone recite ta'wuz along with tasmiya. Hence, I do not do so. But my father, who is a faasiq, tells me: "Is it not better to recite Ta'wuz? Why do you not like doing it?" Anyhow, with the incorrect behaviour of my father aside:

1. Is my father correct?

2. With the exception of reciting the Qur'an Shareef or when faced with some Shaytaani thought/confrontation, what occasions warrant the recitation of ta'wuz?

3. Why is ta'wuz not recited before a bayaan or a kitaab reading?

4. Is it "better" and "more rewarding" to recite ta'wuz before a bayaan or kitaab reading etc.?

5. Is it necessary to recite tasmiya and/or ta'wuz before reciting Ahadith?

Q: My husband is involved in many bad activities, takes so much interest in other women and porn but with me he is too rude and disrespectful. He always makes me feel down, as I'm such a useless thing and he is allergic to me. He doesn't want to see me, talk to me or have sex with me. His all desires are just for outside. It's too hard life for me. I'm living in great pain in every moment of my life due to his behaviour and activities and when I'm so much depressed and say something to him or about him, it will cause punishment for me in akhirah. I don't know what to do. I feel like my both worlds (dunya and akhirah) are hell due to this man. Please advise me some solution in the light of Islam so that I can live a happy life here and can enter in Jannah in akhirah.

Q: I'm a 24 year old student, doing my masters in communication engineering. My problem is that I try my best to avoid all types of sins, but despite all my efforts to stop evil things I can't stop myself from masturbating. My desire is so high that I can't control it and I've no way to stop myself from doing this bad thing. Kindly tell me how to stop this bad habit and control my desire. I pray regularly and try all to do good things, but this is the thing that makes me feel very ashamed of myself and disregard. My health is suffering badly. I'm very upset. Kindly help me in this regard and guide me.

Q: Please help me sir. I am in depression. I know my problem which I have written is too big and time consuming. Please help me. I am a 25 years old Muslim girl. My parents are finding suitable husband for me with which I am fine. I never had any past relationship. I believe Allah has already planned a very good man for me. I recently got a proposal from a very good family. I heard that the family and that the boy is very nice and suitable for me. My family became very happy and satisfied. That boy wanted to speak to me. I agreed. The conversation with him was very uncomfortable. He was speaking as if we are in a relationship. Within 24 hours of our conversation he told he is missing me which I found very awkward. I was worried so I did ishtekhara. I prayed to Allah to give me some indications. I prayed that if that person is not good for my deen, duniya and aakhirat, then please don't make me marry this person. He continuously calls me and messages me. I have stopped replying to him. I told him that from now on our elders will decide. He was insisting me to talk and convincing me to agree to this marriage. I denied marrying him. Now my family is worried that I have taken decision in a hurry and judged him too soon. My parents are disappointed and telling me that I have rejected a good proposal and now I am not going to get any better proposals and this is the reason why many girls don't get married at the right age and to a right person because of childish behaviour like me. I am extremely worried and low I am continuously praying to Allah that if I have done a mistake please forgive me. I am praying for a suitable proposal for me. I am upset. I am scared. Please help me.