Advice

Joining family ties

Q: My question is regarding a fight between relatives. My two aunts and my mother had a fight in 2013 on some issue and after that they stop contact and are not talking to each other. Since then my father was not available when this fight happened he is sad from what his sisters did because my mom was not at fault. After the fight my father tried to contact them but they didn't answered his call and after one week we came back to KSA after few months my aunt called my father but my father was angry so he scolded her and after that time till now they have no contact. In between this time my parents tried to fix this problem again but it didn't happen. Now my parents want them to contact and say sorry only then they will forgive them but my aunts are not agreeing on this. They think they are right. My father is really sad and one aunt is my mother in-law. I want to ask that according to the Islamic point of view what should I do to bring them together and end this situation?

Difficulty in getting one's daughter married

Q: Me and my family try to live according to the sharia and fulfill all the rulings of deen to some extent alhamdulillah. I have a twenty years old daughter who is quite pretty, obedient and well behaved alhamdulillah. Within the past two years a great number of proposals came for her. Women from different families come to see my daughter but afterwards neither they return nor they come in contact by any means. Some families show their interest clearly to me but never come. I am continually reciting the ayat what you suggest to everyone regarding getting good proposals after every salah and make dua. My daughter does the same too. One mufti sahib suggested to recite ayat no.62 of surah namal 14000 times every Wednesday till three Wednesdays in order to get rid of any obstacle. I did this too. I recite surah rehman thrice daily for this cause. I am too much worried mufti sahib. Please help with the suggestion in this matter. I would be obliged if you will reply sooner.

Making istikhara before consulting one's parents

Q: I have a question on a situation that recently occured. I was going through the Q&A's on this site and read that one should first consult people of experience e.g. parents before making a major decision and then making istikara. In my situation I made my istikara first about a matter and then consulted parents. My istikara felt positive but when speaking to parents they totally disagreed. The reason why I made my istikara first was because I myself wanted to be certain about it and then move forward. What i'm doing now is making dua that in Allah's infinite knowledge and mercy if it is correct then Allah should soften my relatives heart and if not I shud accepted it. Is this correct what im doing?

Marital problems

Q: I am in so difficult situation. I got love married. My parents did not agree. I did my nikah secretly then revealed it afterwards to my parents. They were so good that they forgave me and got us married properly. I went to my husband's home. They were joint family. My mother in law was my aunty, means elder sister of my mother. All brother and sister in laws were younger than me. I worked there all the time. In morning, in the evening. Work of the in laws. Pressed their clothes, did their washing, cooking, sweeping. Every single task of their household work. But my husband always said that you did not do anything. Get up and do every work of the home. You always laid down on the bed. I was hurt. I know it was not my responsibility to serve every one there except my husband. But I did only for the sake of Allah and my husband. But my husband remained unhappy with me. Whenevr I asked him for outing or go outside for refreshment he denied. After all he mistrusted me, critisized me always. He forbade me even to meet my mother and sister. He forbade me to attend my sisters wedding. Now my son is going to be one year. One week before I had a fight again with my husbnd that why dont you give me monthly maintenance or money for my and my son's needs. He said like always that I will start earning when our plot will be sold and I know there is no chance that this plot will never get sold ever. My son and I compromised in every condition there. We ate and lived on the money of my father in law for two years.but now for my son my patience has exceeded. When husband is not going to be responsible anyway. On the other hand he said me to get out of the home and my mother in law and all the in laws behaved with me so harshly that I was about to weep. My health is so ruined by bearing tensions and hardahips there but no one is happy with me. I asked my husband that may I go to my parents home? He told me to go. Then I called my father and he brought me to my parents home. Now I am here for about a week with my 11 month son. No one has called me yet. Now my parents decided that when my in laws or husband will come here for me,then they will ask for divorce. After all when he has not proven ever a husband nor ever fulfiled my requirements then there is no need to stay with him for the whole life. Now I am worried about myself. Please guide me what to do. I cannot live without him as I love him so much. But I am also annoyed by my inlaws too. He will not agree on a separate home also. I am seeking for a job also because my father is not so able to meet my and my babies needs completely. Guide me please. What should I do?

Experiencing problems with the in-laws

Q: I am a younge muslim widow. My husband died 6 month before with cancer. I have 7 years twins boys, we live in Newyork city by ourself. My in-law's family members hurts me with backbitting, false accusations and that makes me feel low, inferior and backward and it is a part of our bangladeshi culture and they almost don't support me with almost anything but my husband did huge contributions for them and made them rich but I have nothing here except my boys, so I have to work hard for raising our boys. I am not thinking about another man. I just want to be a good muslim mom and good widow, so can you advise me. Is it ok in Islam to avoid them or talk minimum or stay away from them as a good muslim woman? Please advise me I just want to live with my boys with respect and dignity.

Experiencing problems with the in-laws

Q: I am a younge muslim widow. My husband died 6 month before with cancer. I have 7 years twins boys, we live in Newyork city by ourself. My in-law's family members hurts me with backbitting, false accusations and that makes me feel low, inferior and backward and it is a part of our bangladeshi culture and they almost don't support me with almost anything but my husband did huge contributions for them and made them rich but I have nothing here except my boys, so I have to work hard for raising our boys. I am not thinking about another man. I just want to be a good muslim mom and good widow, so can you advise me. Is it ok in Islam to avoid them or talk minimum or stay away from them as a good muslim woman? Please advise me I just want to live with my boys with respect and dignity.

Getting married with the blessings of one's parents

Q: I am 18 years old and have received a proposal from a guy who is 32 years old. I am quite keen and I have performed istikhara and so has a moulana and both were positive. A mufti also advised me that Ayesha (Radiyallahu Anha) was much younger than the Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) and islamically it is acceptable however my parents refuse to accept. My life at home has become very miserable and I am verbally abused and sometimes even hit for my decision. I can't seem to take it anymore and I think I should take things into my own hands and get married. Please advise.

Stopping the previous husband from living with his new wife

Q: I am Australia based. After a long sour relationship I divorced my ex-wife. She has completed her iddat now. I re-married back home and want to bring my new wife to Australia. But my ex. Wife is refusing to sign civil divorce papers and persistent to spend 12 months separation time. I believe it is not fair to stop a married couple to meet and live together. May I request you to please advise if my ex. wife's conduct is valid under Shar'iah law? Is she allowed to cause delays in adjoining of a legitimate married couple? Looking forward to your instructions.