Advice

Q: I have asked you about my personal problem. Now tell me what should we do. We are five sisters. Our father is a poor man. My elder sister's husband did a second marriage and after that at least 3 year he didn't go to my sister. She has three children in 15 years of marriage. My second elder sister is married for 10 years and her husband is not able to fulfil a husbands duties as well as financial needs. My third elder sister's husband is very well off but after 7 years of marriage he is also not able to fulfil her rights. My marriage is in it's third year but my husband's parents don't let me live with him for my whole life permanently nor does he himself want to take me with him. However, he can afford it easily abroad. He just came for 6 month in these 3 years. My younger sister is overage and my parents still didn't find her a soul mate. Please you tell me what should we all sister do. We are human, have emotions, can't take divorce. What has Allah revealed for such conditions? Should we just make sabar?

Q: Is punishing students permissible in Islam (other than for praying purpose)? I heard it is not justified. What is your opinion?

Q: What should I do? Everything I do in life is a failure. I have never had any success in my life. I feel helpless. I cannot provide sufficiently for my wife and child. We are bankrupt. Our business is broke. I am broke. Nothing is going the way it should. We read our namaaz, we pray to Allah asking for his divine intervention, but its as if Allah does not acknowledge us. We are in a lot of debt. I have given up, I feel like my only way out is death.

Q: I am engaged and my in-laws are much wealthier than my family. I talk to my fiance on text messages. I observe the girl is rich and her parents fullfil all her wishes. She uses all expensive items which I know I cannot afford. My fiance's life routine is very different and my routine is very different. I told my parents about the routine they said girl will adjust herself after marriage. When my parents were looking for a girl for me, they never asked me what kind of girl I wanted to be my wife, what kind of in-laws etc. My family just fixed my engagement and showed me the girl. When I spoke her on Messages, I was disappointed. I cannot say to my parents that I don't want to merry her because they are very happy with this relationship, and this is not good for the girl also to break the engagement. Please help me I am tense.

Q: I love a person and I wish to marry him. Kindly please make istakhara for me if he is the right person or not.

Q: What should the husband do if he is forced to go with his mother for hajj as he is the only available mahram for her as his father refuses to accompany her? The husband has a wife and kids and will have to leave them alone. What could be done to alleviate this situation as its causing tension as the wife does not have any family close by. Also, the husband is only doing it because of his mother, and another thing is that the father will be paying for the costs, so he will be sending them whilst himself hasn't fulfilled his fardh duty, its unnecessary trouble between husband and wife. please help.

Q: I am suffering from depression. I wanted to marry a boy from a different culture to mine and his family rejected based on culture. This has ruined my mentality on everything. Islam is about being united and if we have chosen someone suitable to marry based on character it should be allowed. Now I feel like this world is only based on people marrying in each others culture, I hate that mentality and I don’t like my own culture. I am a very simple girl and would prefer to follow Islam. My brother who is also a Mufti. I thought he could help me with other situations which I am going through and he broke my trust and I cannot trust him or anyone in my family. My family don’t listen and don’t understand me. I pray and cry in my dua’s everyday for Allah to help me. I pray the Qur'an every night and listen to it in the morning. I feel like everything is just becoming worse. Too many problems in one go. I think about death everyday and pray to Allah that I don’t want to be in this world anymore and I have learnt that we shouldn’t be doing things like that. I want to stop feeling like this but people and situations around me do not help and I feel angry and depressed all the time. I was wondering if there is any duas for depression that will help me?

Q: What is the best way to learn Arabic language? Can I learn it myself or I have to learn it under the supervision of some scholar? I have an Arabic grammar book which is in urdu, my urdu is good so I found it really easy to understand. Can I learn Arabic myself and ask things which I don't understand from some scholar?

Q: My parents are in severe financial debt. Can I sell my mahar Kruger coin to help them. Do I need to seek my husbands permission to sell it.

Q: I have a question. I was ill since age of 11. I was diagnosed with OCD (Wehem) a psychiatric disease. I was so mentally occupied that three years of my childhood was a nightmare. Again after age of 18 the the disease relapsed and lasted for seven years in one or other form. My father and mother helped me with treatment and care. I had very miserable life. But Allah gave me health and strength. Now I am an engineer. but from the last three years my hairs turned white on head chest and beard. I am young. I felt humiliation and low esteemed throughout after the age of seven. Now I am 32 years old with white hairs. I feel more humiliated. People used to laugh at me by seeing my face which looks older than my age now. I believe that is because of this disease. My disease is almost gone. But my feeling of low self esteem and ugly looks make me angry. I feel why Allah made me like this. I make na-shukri which I don't want to do. Sometimes I feel so close to Allah and accept this as Allah's gifts. But sometimes I feel na-shukri very rigidly when someone laughs at my looks with older face, big nose and white hairs. I pray to Allah to help me and give me success in both worlds and make me beautiful and blessed. Please guide me to keep away from this na-shukri and get my black hairs back.