Advice

Q: Is spitting on the ground in public haraam?

Q: I obey and respect my mother as Allah commands, however my mother is angry with me because she wants me to talk to her more, but this is difficult for me as she is always watching haraam shows on TV. I talk to her when she isn't watching TV. I assume it is not permissible to sit and talk to someone whilst they are watching haram things. Could you please clarify if this is halaal? If it is then I will do this so that my mother does not remain angry with me.

Q: Is it compulsory for me to keep contact with my paternal aunts, uncles and their children. I kept a relationship with these people for so many years of my life, inspite of them backbiting against us and ruining our lives. My uncles have usurped our rights and fed their wives and children with our money. What am I supposed to feel when I see their houses and their belongings? I will be reminded of their deceit and the injustice done to us. These people have wrecked havoc in our lives and they deserve no respect from me. They simply do more evil to me if I am kind and be even more unjust. These people have done innumerable injustices to us for more than 25 years. It is because of them that my father strayed from the right path, they ruined his aakhira and supported him in his evil sins. Moreover all of my aunts, uncles and their children live in different countries. I don't have their numbers and my mother who has them refuses to give them to me and if I do keep a relationship with them, they will simply try to turn me against my mother and backbite against her. Moreover it is very expensive for me to phone them from the UK and we are poor people. Do you think I should keep a relationship with my father because Allah has said the rights of parents are huge but I know for a fact that my father will put pressure on me to get my mother to reconcile with him. However this is not possible as she tolerated his abuse, swears, adultery, alcohol, drugs and smoking. My father even slandered her, even though she is chaste. She even tolerated him not giving her any money for basic necessities for 25 years. I know my father has still not changed as he still continues to backbite against her and slander her even though she has obtained a khula, if my mother does want to remarry then she should get married to a pious man, my father doesn't deserve her.

Q: Please pray for me. I have very bad stress. My son is answering back very badly. Shaitaan is following me. I feel like dying. I have been crying the whole day. My son 26 years, has no job and doesn't use any drugs but has no respect for parents like today he really hurt me. He says anything to me. I feel bad very bad. He doesn't bother to look for employment. He is very lazy. What do I do? He goes to the Musjid but I have to push him.

Q: I am now 27. 10 years ago I had sex with a girl. She is older than me and non muslim, but intercourse didn't happen. I was even wearing clothes. I asked many times forgiveness from Allah Ta'ala. From that day, I went for hadd but the hazaraat told me it's not required in my case because any intercourse didn't happen. I am ready to do hadd. I feel very very very guilty of that and I face lot of problem in my life. I am struggling to get married so is it permissible do hadd in my case. Also sometimes I masturbate. I asked forgiveness from Allah Ta'ala again and again also for this I do hadd like hitting myself with a belt and burning myself with hot steel, pouring hot candle drops to my body. After repenting to Allah Ta'ala in this way again I masturbate. Is it permissible to hurt myself in such a way? I want to get married and want to do the jima' in the Halaal way. So I think Allah Ta'ala is expecting me to do hadd.

Q: A boy loves me a lot. He proposed for me and I said that I will tell my mother and afterwards my mother will decide. He told my mother that he loves me and wants to marry me. Now the main problems stands here. I am too young for marriage so is he. He doesn't have any job. He is still studying. After he told my mother, then we started to talk to each other and as time passed we shared a lot of things. It has been nine months now and he loves me since 2011. Now suddenly I realized that this is haram. I know I did wrong but I have realized it. Now the main problem is that I promised him that I wont leave him but I am a Muslim so is he. I just want to stop talking to him. I want him to wait for me till I am old enough and he is capable enough to raise a family and during this time period he keeps no contact with me. This is difficult for me as well as for him, but he doesn't understand. He wants a haram relation and wants to meet me alone and I don't want that. I love him a lot and I don't want to say yes or no. Please help me. What should I do?

Q: I have a husband. Its been a few weeks since we've got married. Alhamdulillah. We both are baaligh so we had our nikaah done with only 2 witnesses. I had a messed up past meaning I was bad before but now Alhamdulillah he's showing me the right path. I'm trying my best to become a better Muslimah Alhamdulillah and I've stopped doing what I used to do in the past. Sometimes when my whatsapp doesn't work or i'm on a different call with my female friend or family member, my husband thinks I'm talking with some na mahram. I told him about my past and that I don't talk with any na mahram anymore. He's being suspicious that I'm up to something behind his back but I'm not. I don't talk to any na mahram now. I don't know what to say to him. Should I sit down, talk to him and explain that I don't talk to anyone? Or what should I do?

Q: I have daughter in-law who is a revert and following our Deen but she loves her family an they come and visit her. What is the ruling? My daughter doesn't like it.

Q: I had a hard married life. My husband was jealous and accused and abused me in front of all his family my kids. I went into a bad depression. My kids know what he did to me. I lived with his family and was loved by his parents. Now my kids are like him, they don't abuse me but my daughter is very jeolous. I don't agree with her when she say things about my daughter in-law or my niece or anyone else. She is married an we both always have problems. Please advise. I love her but she feels I hate her. How do I make her believe otherwise?

Q: I've known a man for the past few months. I wanted to get married to him as I find him good for me and my family as well. At first he seemed to be interested in me and everything was going fine. Now he won't even talk to me unless I talk to him first and he would behave as if he is not interested. All this happened because he thinks I made a mistake by talking about us to my friends. Please help.