Advice

Q: Please advise what is the duties of a daughter in law to her in laws? Is a married woman entitled to separate accommodation from the in laws if she does not wish to live with them. If the daughter in law is wealthier than the in laws and refuses to give them money is it a sin on her? The in-laws are wasteful, spend foolishly. Can a woman ask her husband to give her a quarter of his salary (she will pay for the bulk of expenses) to live separately and give his family a third or so of what he earns. If he refuses to live separately as he wants to give all his earning to his family, is this a valid ground for a women to ask for a divorce. Please bear in mind living with the in laws is causing the daughter in law to suffer from anxiety and she is becoming physically sick.

Q: I am going out with a girl and I knew her from the internet and we didn't meet yet. I tried to stop but she is a Muslim but her parents aren't that good in Islam. But she wants to get better in Islam so I didn't stop. We decided not to meet until we tell our parents, so I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do please?

Q: I did a terrible terrible thing. I cheated on my husband. I slept with a whatsapp contact of mine twice. I know I did wrong and I am so sorry for what I did, I mean it was a total stranger. My husband is taking this very hard and I know he still loves me and I am thankful for that. What can I do to revive our marriage and make my husband look at me the way he used to before he found out. Will things ever be the same again?

Q: I am a born Muslim, 21 years old. I have not been a practising Muslim my whole life, been into lots of major sins, may Allah forgive me. There is this one thing that has been bothering me for a while now: With the little amount of knowledge that I have, it is obvious that this life is just a test and the Aakhirah is the real place we should be working towards. And obviously we should give more than our best to be there and save ourselves from the hell fire. The thing is I am a computer engineer and I spend 12-13 hours of my day with my job, studies, etc. I at times even miss prayers and practically what I do during those 12-13 hours is in no way benefiting my Aakhirah. Would it not be better that I leave the job and get some Islamic education and do something in that, like teach Qur'an or anything at all so that it actually benefits me?

Q: Sometimes when we have done a good deed, or have said a good thing that is only for Allah's pleasure, we often feel good about what we have done, and sometimes these thoughts stay in our head for long. Please I want to know, is this associated with riya? Can my good deeds become invalid for this reason and how should I stop this "Self-thinking-Admiration" process. And also please can you help me with a link to download a book on riya in-depth. May Allah Reward you.

Q: I want to ask you my condition related to Quran and Ahadith. Two years earlier my parents engaged me to guy who was morally, family wise, and Islamicly a noble person. But the only reason I couldn't get married to him is because of my parents ego.  A stamp paper of a plot in a very expensive area. Which a middle class person can't afford. They have agreed to write it in my mehr and would buy it for me later on along with 5o tola gold and 5 lac rupees. But my parents didn't agree. Everyone in the world questions me about my marriage but I am ashamed to answer as I have nothing to say plus I don't want my parents repo to be spoilt. The guy and his family is struggling very hard for me and the guy has debts too. Don't you think this is destroying my life? What does the Qur'an and Hadith say in this case? What should I do?

Q: My mother doesn't obey the rules of purda properly. She uses hijaab but after reaching school where she works she takes off the hijaab and wears a scarf. In this situation what should I do to get it right and what does Islam say?

Q: I am 16 years old , trying to be the best Muslim I possibly can. انشأ الله I am sorry to bother , all the time. It's just that I always feel like Allah is upset with me or Allahs curse is on me because my duas don't get accepted. I try harder to be a better person but I see no change. I be and do the best I can keeping Allah in mind all the time yet everything feels the same. I've been trying my best with Salaah and Quran and I'm trying my best to cut down the wrongs in my life but I don't see or feel a change. I don't know if I did something to upset Allah or what. How can I stop feeling this way? How would I know? What can I do?

Q: I tremendously respect the ulama of Deoband and especially Hazrat Ashraf Ali Thanvi because of the Khidmat of the Deen they have done throughout their whole life. I have been really shocked when I read that one "scholar" of the past, Ahmed Reza Khan, has claimed that Hazrat Ashraf Ali Thanvi was a disbeliever. Furthermore I have read that Ahmed Reza Khan has some links with the qaadyani. I do not want to pour oil on the flames but I would appreciate lengthy details about Ahmed Reza Khan and what opinion we should hold about him, although one should not become extreme and violent in such matters.

Q: I have a burning question and your enlightenment thereon will be highly appreciated. I have a friend who has a young daughter of 22. The daughter has been dating the son of a couple who will be leaving for umrah Insha Allah soon. This couple will be leaving their house and son in the care of the boy’s grandmother. My question is: Does the Umrah become null if these youngsters continue seeing each other in the company of the grandmother or go on an outing like they normally do when the boy’s parents are around during the period the boy’s parents are on Umrah?