Advice

Q: A boy loves me a lot. He proposed for me and I said that I will tell my mother and afterwards my mother will decide. He told my mother that he loves me and wants to marry me. Now the main problems stands here. I am too young for marriage so is he. He doesn't have any job. He is still studying. After he told my mother, then we started to talk to each other and as time passed we shared a lot of things. It has been nine months now and he loves me since 2011. Now suddenly I realized that this is haram. I know I did wrong but I have realized it. Now the main problem is that I promised him that I wont leave him but I am a Muslim so is he. I just want to stop talking to him. I want him to wait for me till I am old enough and he is capable enough to raise a family and during this time period he keeps no contact with me. This is difficult for me as well as for him, but he doesn't understand. He wants a haram relation and wants to meet me alone and I don't want that. I love him a lot and I don't want to say yes or no. Please help me. What should I do?

Q: I have a husband. Its been a few weeks since we've got married. Alhamdulillah. We both are baaligh so we had our nikaah done with only 2 witnesses. I had a messed up past meaning I was bad before but now Alhamdulillah he's showing me the right path. I'm trying my best to become a better Muslimah Alhamdulillah and I've stopped doing what I used to do in the past. Sometimes when my whatsapp doesn't work or i'm on a different call with my female friend or family member, my husband thinks I'm talking with some na mahram. I told him about my past and that I don't talk with any na mahram anymore. He's being suspicious that I'm up to something behind his back but I'm not. I don't talk to any na mahram now. I don't know what to say to him. Should I sit down, talk to him and explain that I don't talk to anyone? Or what should I do?

Q: I have daughter in-law who is a revert and following our Deen but she loves her family an they come and visit her. What is the ruling? My daughter doesn't like it.

Q: I had a hard married life. My husband was jealous and accused and abused me in front of all his family my kids. I went into a bad depression. My kids know what he did to me. I lived with his family and was loved by his parents. Now my kids are like him, they don't abuse me but my daughter is very jeolous. I don't agree with her when she say things about my daughter in-law or my niece or anyone else. She is married an we both always have problems. Please advise. I love her but she feels I hate her. How do I make her believe otherwise?

Q: I've known a man for the past few months. I wanted to get married to him as I find him good for me and my family as well. At first he seemed to be interested in me and everything was going fine. Now he won't even talk to me unless I talk to him first and he would behave as if he is not interested. All this happened because he thinks I made a mistake by talking about us to my friends. Please help.

Q: Please advise what is the duties of a daughter in law to her in laws? Is a married woman entitled to separate accommodation from the in laws if she does not wish to live with them. If the daughter in law is wealthier than the in laws and refuses to give them money is it a sin on her? The in-laws are wasteful, spend foolishly. Can a woman ask her husband to give her a quarter of his salary (she will pay for the bulk of expenses) to live separately and give his family a third or so of what he earns. If he refuses to live separately as he wants to give all his earning to his family, is this a valid ground for a women to ask for a divorce. Please bear in mind living with the in laws is causing the daughter in law to suffer from anxiety and she is becoming physically sick.

Q: I am going out with a girl and I knew her from the internet and we didn't meet yet. I tried to stop but she is a Muslim but her parents aren't that good in Islam. But she wants to get better in Islam so I didn't stop. We decided not to meet until we tell our parents, so I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do please?

Q: I did a terrible terrible thing. I cheated on my husband. I slept with a whatsapp contact of mine twice. I know I did wrong and I am so sorry for what I did, I mean it was a total stranger. My husband is taking this very hard and I know he still loves me and I am thankful for that. What can I do to revive our marriage and make my husband look at me the way he used to before he found out. Will things ever be the same again?

Q: I am a born Muslim, 21 years old. I have not been a practising Muslim my whole life, been into lots of major sins, may Allah forgive me. There is this one thing that has been bothering me for a while now: With the little amount of knowledge that I have, it is obvious that this life is just a test and the Aakhirah is the real place we should be working towards. And obviously we should give more than our best to be there and save ourselves from the hell fire. The thing is I am a computer engineer and I spend 12-13 hours of my day with my job, studies, etc. I at times even miss prayers and practically what I do during those 12-13 hours is in no way benefiting my Aakhirah. Would it not be better that I leave the job and get some Islamic education and do something in that, like teach Qur'an or anything at all so that it actually benefits me?

Q: Sometimes when we have done a good deed, or have said a good thing that is only for Allah's pleasure, we often feel good about what we have done, and sometimes these thoughts stay in our head for long. Please I want to know, is this associated with riya? Can my good deeds become invalid for this reason and how should I stop this "Self-thinking-Admiration" process. And also please can you help me with a link to download a book on riya in-depth. May Allah Reward you.