Advice

Q: I would like to find out something regarding talaaq. My husband and I have been recently divorced due to many issues we have been having along the years. About 6 years actually. Two years ago I met someone and we fell in love, this man loves me and now wants to marry me. I love him too and want to be with him as well. He says when my iddat is over we will decide etc. I want to know if we can still communicate and keep in touch or am I forbidden to him for the duration of my iddat. We are both big business people and are well known in the community so we sometimes need to meet and talk etc. We will not hold or touch etc but sometimes need to meet to discuss the future. Kindly advise. Also he is currently married, he has big kids and does not want to lose them. I have asked him to let me go but this is not an option for him. His wife knows about us and threatens to take the kids away. His daughter will be married soon and will no longer be under the roof. The son is big and will definitely stay with his father as he does not get on with his mum. The smaller kid may be a problem. I understand that he does not need her permission to marry me and she cannot ask for a divorce for this reason. He says he wants to talk to her about a second wife. How does one approach this situation and soften the blow as most modern woman do not want to share their men. My head is in such a mess right now and cannot think straight, please make me maaf, will you kindly answer each part of my confused email. I really appreciate it.

Q: Please help me. I am in very serious trouble. I started to like a girl from the last 3 years. She used to live in Lahore. My parents did give me permission to choose my own spouse and they were very happy.  My mother agreed but my father and brothers were like we are not in this matter it's your own choice. Time passed, we got engaged last year everything was going smoothly. That girl supported me in every possible way. Two weeks back she visited my place for the first time with her mom and my dad and brother rejected her in first look and started to talk very negative about her. They went judgemental about her every negative thing they could find in her they lashed out. The girl is an orphan not to forget and my mom made a commitment to her mom that the wedding will be this year 2015. My mom also rejected her because of their personal reasons. She wanted a beautiful girl for me with a strong family background and stuff. Now no one is on my side. My dad is getting very angry and forcing me to call off this engagement and finish this relationship with her. Tell me what are my rights now? I'm planning to run away because they clearly won't accept her at any cost. Please guide me what to do?

Q: I am a married woman and have three children. I am staying in India whereas my husband is working abroad. I am married since the last ten years. In theses ten years I have seen that my husband is very short tempered. He often gets fits of anger. He is a very loving husband but when he gets upset on anything whether it is my fault or not he shouts at me, insults me, uses bad words for me and my family and even beats me in front of my children, his parents, brothers and sister. It seems as if he has become mad. Many a times it happens that he doesn't even talk to me for months. As a wife I never felt close to him. He is a very religious person but has no control over his anger. I feel very lonely and my life has become a hell. Please suggest me some dua or wazifa for my husband's short tempered nature and to gain his love and respect.

Q: I am going for umrah in April and I have recently been getting a lot of hate at school. When should I make the dua that I can get my friends to like me again?

Q: I would like to know if it is permissible to make istikara if you are still dating someone with the intention of going for a proposal. Are we supposed to read the istikara before? Or after the proposal?Can istikara be read before without a proposal? Just to know if that person is meant for you and no families have been involved.

Q: My brother's daughter has left home to be with a Christian man of the same age (21). This has brought great shame on her parents and despite pleading with her to stay, she left the family home. Until now she was very obedient but now she says she has no belief in Islam and does not want to be a Muslim. It pains us to hear this from her and her parents have made a decision to disown her. Her father has told us all that if we have any contact at all with her we will also be disowned. She is now living in a very poor and sad situation, missing her family but not wanting to return to the life of religion she had before. My question is how should we all, as a family, deal with this? It has torn her parents apart who have decided that in order to continue to please Allah they must not see their daughter any more. They have demanded her siblings end contact also. If she continued her relationship are they right to behave in this way? Or should there be contact and support in the hope she may return. If this man converts to Islam should she then be accepted back? Please advise - nobody knows what is for the best for this confused young lady. Surely Allah must judge for her sins and we must show compassion in the meantime.

Q: I'm feeling a bit depressed right now. I realized I have been committing a sin called eaves dropping a lot and I had forgotten about it during this whole time. I also have done a lot of looking inside of other peoples houses not on purpose though. I feel very depressed and I know that you can't lose hope in Allah but I'm already at the stage when you do durood that you get cursed back (I feel worse when I do durood). What am I supposed to do when a lot of these things are not repairable. (I don't remember everyone that I have done this to). I am also in a difficulty where I am not being able to do Salaah,(mental disability called psychosis). I have black magic being done on me all the time. My is mind and my knowledge is getting messed up and rectification is extremely difficult.

Q: I have found some YouTube websites for ruqya recitation on marriage issues and problems. Please can you advise me the best one to stablize the marital life with love, peace, harmony as much as possible and also that what time of the day and how many times in a day or week should we listen to the recitation of it.

Q: If a woman doesn't love her husband and her husband doesn't care for her and there is no reason to hold on to the relationship (no children) and the husband is lazy and there is no compatibility and she is not happy with her husband, what should she do? Is she forced to be with him in Islam?

Q: My husband drinks alcohol and me being a doubtful person feels that when he drinks my whole house and anything he touches will be impure. Like pillow etc if he drools after drinking. I keep cleaning the whole house and its very stressful for me giving me very wrong thoughts at times. Even if I have to wash an alcohol glass which I keep separate in the sink, I feel the whole sink is impure and I keep cleaning it and the side areas. Please help me it's driving me crazy as I feel everything has become impure including utensils ill wash in the same sink. Please help. My life is getting ruined and I'm having very wrong thoughts.