Advice

Q: I am an 18 year old boy. I m 5ft 7inch tall. I got a strong muscular body and I am a very active boy. The problem starts when I am in school. I feel so shy that I can't even participate in different activities. Can't give my opinion in debates. Can't ask the miss a question if the class is quiet. Can't play sports because I think what others may say about me and I am a very timid boy in school. My friends are boys and I can't even mix up with them too. Socially my worth is nothing. Sometimes I look at people who are not good like me (I am not being proud but I am just saying)  even they are confident and make the class lively. Please help me out with this. Sometimes I feel so sad and depressed that I don't have many friends because of shyness and can't do what I want to do. Shyness has cost me a lot. Please send me a dua or something which will make me confident and will boost my self esteem. I don't like talking to girls neither I want nor I will but I can't even ask them about homework or just anything about studies or anything related to studies. I feel like my face is ugly so people don't want to talk to me and my friend often tells me that I got a handsome face. Its not about the face but when no one talks to me I feel like isolated and weird. Please help me.

Q: I have been constantly losing my belongings. I lost my diamond wedding ring, a couple of precious stones off my jewellery and have lost two cell phones now. I am wondering if there is some sort of dua that I can recite to help keep my belongings safe and protect me from any sort of nazar and black magic that may be associated with this.

Q: I have trouble getting over my wifes affair. I am trying so hard to get past it and I can't seem to forget. Im still with her but its so hard on me. I just can't believe she has done this. I know I must forgive and I have forgiven but I just can't move forward. What must I do?

Q: My husband keeps getting upset and stops talking to me for 3/4 days if I don't sleep with him in bed when I am in my priod. It's been happening for 15 years. I have explained to him so many times. One month if he improves then the next month he is worse. Please help out with any dua or prayer I can do to stop and understand him. If I don't let him have what he wants then he will get angry and stop talking to me from morning. It takes him at list few days or until I get better.

Q: My husband has a really big problem, he cannot budget, he spends without thinking. It's not the first time he is sitting with a very huge debt, and this is becoming a big problem for me and my kids. He borrows money from people to pay off debts, this is not right, please advise?

Q: What are the rights of mother and wife? I have been married for 6 years with two kids and my wife has problems with my mothers hold on the kitchen. After every 6 months she has an hunger strike to get her demands met. This time I am getting her a separate accommodation because of quarrel between sister and mother. Despite having a big house where I can get her separated on the upper portion she is not willing to live. I have to spend all my earnings for separate accommodation. I have lived 6 years with her cursing my family and me. She does not respect me in front of my family and her family at times. The only reason I am bearing all this because Allah Ta'ala dislikes divorce and I have two daughters aged 4 and 2 years and what I do today will reflect on their life? I may not be a good husband by not listening to her concerns but I didn't like one thing that she never prayed or offered salat. I do not have mental peace and because I do not have a nature to be aggressive my marriage is in ruins because of my family and wife. Need a sincere advise and dua whereby we all can live in harmony.

Q: How do we respond to the foolish and stupid statements of fellow laymen when they comment on Deeni matters wherein they utter completely incorrect things? Like those who comment on the Qur'an Sharaeef, Ahadith, Masaa'il and the Auliya with their own concocted reasoning and personal thoughts. Not salafi's etc., but just fellow faasiq lay people who act as Deeni experts. Many a time, one is not in a position to reason with them, or there is the fear they will utter even worse commentaries on the Shari'a. When these people utter their statements of personal, clear-cut haraam, reasoning, can we respond by saying 'Ok' - maybe it is a neutral statement (I do not know)? Or will Allah Ta'ala punish us for not arguing the Haq despite these people being stubborn with their commentaries on Deen?

Q: I am a black South African born Muslim. I have a problem with my mother. She goes to those sangoma (witchcraft) ladies and this lady has led her to believe that we are out to kill her. She sprinkles the house with the water of that woman. Recently she went to fetch my late brother and her late fathers sand from the grave yard which she took to that lady then brought back home and she kept my brothers sand in her room and her fathers in my room as if that was not enough she has now started saying I am bewitching her. I don't understand, we don't have any valuables that she can say I can bewitch for so my fears are the last time she started like this with my brother he passed away. I am worried mostly because I am a single mother of three children so I am working Monday to Saturday so my Imaan and Salaah are not strong enough and Allah forbid something happens to me what will my 3 girls become of them please help me with advice and as many duas as possible that Allah spares me till my children are big enough to look after each other and themselves. I am all they have got please help me. I'm so confused and afraid. It's like I have no peace.

Q:

1. This is my second marriage. Is it permissible that my daughter and my husband's son live in the same house?
2. Is it permissible that my husband speak to his x wife, knowing I am unhappy about it. The kids live with my husband and I. Or can she speak to me regarding the kids since I am the mother figure.
3. Is it a must that I care for his kids, or can they live with their mother which they want but my husband does not. She is working and capable of supporting them. I personally can't take care of them anymore, due to their mother's interference in my marriage and household. I feel like I am forced to care for them because I have to abide by my in-laws and their mother's conditions.Which my husband doesn't know how to deal with.

Q: My husband is never home. He comes from work and is perpetually at a meeting. Married for 15 years with 3 children. He leaves at 7 and returns at 2 am. I have made sabar for years now. He is not fulfilling my needs of companionship or intimacy. What is my way forward? This is disrespectful and selfish. Please help me make a decision within Shariah.