Q: I met a girl and started speaking, then I was forced to get involved in love as she threatened to kill herself if I don't get married to her. I am still in contact with her through phone the phone. How can I get relieved from her and repent to Allah as her parents are also willing to get her married to me, but she is not a practising muslima and not wearing hijaab. Please advise.
Q: I'm a born Muslim who married a revert. Sometimes he comes home having consumed alcohol. Does it effect my daily salaah and am I allowed to sleep on same bed with him? Please help me to help him leave his bad habits and become a good Muslim and also will I be punished in the grave for his wrong doings? Since I married him I would appreciate an urgent reply.
Q: Is there any guidance from our ulama /books etc on how to give dawat to non Muslims eg. Domestic workers working in our homes. What books could be given to them?
Q: I have a doubt regarding who should talk/how should one speak to the girl's parents when seeking for girl for marriage. My parents were approached by one of my relatives to make nikaah of their daughter to me. So they came to our house (I was not present at that time) and then they called us to their home and asked me to come to their home as well. We haven't seen the girl even in photo and during our visit also girl was not available. That is not a big deal. We went over there by evening 5pm and their welcome was pleasing. After the tea, everyone sat around (around 10 members from their side and from my side just my parents and my brother). Then I started to speak after the introduction which is as follows. Start of my speech:
Right now I am working in BEML Limited, Palakkad Complex which is a PSU. Earlier I worked for Bosch limited, Chennai. (I am doing my ME (PT) in PSG more than 2 years left for completion). Masha Allah it is good. I should be thankful to Allah as I only asked for it. But being a PSU I don’t like the work culture and slowly I am accustomed to it.
Insha allah I will leave this job. For that reason only I am not yet married. Here I have a bond of 2 lakhs to pay which I can’t break so I am working over here. Waiting for completion of ME (part time) and bond period. Once it gets over I will try to come back to Chennai and look out for some teaching profession.
I am a shy guy, I don’t like to go and roam here and there, I expect the same from my spouse.
I am a simple personality by character, I don’t like spending on unnecessary things, expect the same from my spouse. I don’t go out even to buy dresses for eid. My brother/parents buy it for me.
Normally our family we don’t go to cinemas. Even with friends I haven’t been to one cinema in the whole of my college life, I remember one instance when my school friends dragged me to Chennai - 600028. Hence I can’t take your girl outside for cinemas.
Watching haram in TV’s is not allowed. I accept that once I was a person very much close to music, cricket from my school days till my college days, participating in many college cultural shows and winning prizes (but didn’t think that it is haraam). But now I have given it up. Expect the same from my spouse except watching news/learning new things and what it is allowed in shariah.
See the age of the girl is very less (18 yrs). Today’s generation it is growing thick and fast and already I am outdated as we didn’t have phones even in our college days but today a small child has it. She should not feel that I am too old for her.
Please ask 100% acceptance from her side. If she doesn’t like me even a little bit, please abandon the whole talk. Don’t proceed with this further.
See I don’t want to see your girl if she is beautiful or not, for the beauty lies in the heart rather than in the outer skin. If I am to look at your daughter alone then she will the beautiful women to me in the whole of the world if I can lower my gaze. I accepted for this proposal for my parents told because they told that the girl is good in deen, character and conduct.
I wouldn’t tolerate a small bit of bidaah, expect the same from spouse
I just know how to read quran but I can’t understand Arabic except a few words here and there. Now I am working on it a bit to improve. I want my spouse to be well educated in Arabic so that my children would learn Arabic insha allah easily and naturally quran as well.
I wanted my marriage to take place in masjid, with a good ulama’s bayan followed by walima (Most preferably after magrib).
Tell me the mahr amount that you expect from my side. I wish to pay my mahr from my earnings itself. If you'll tell it then I will plan accordingly.
I don’t want you to spend even a single penny for my marriage.
No shows offs is expected in my marriage, I will be very upset if it happens so I am making it crystal clear at the very beginning.
Don’t put anything for the girl. I am afraid for the wealth. I had enough experience with these things while building the house which we stay right now. Lots of pain and fights occurred. I told my parents earlier not to build anything but they didn’t listen to my words.
I want the girl to respect my parents and my brother. I don’t want them to be disgraced by the girl under any circumstance.
See to that if my level of deen, character and outward appearance is acceptable for you and your daughter. If not please abandon the talk.
Tell what I have told today to your daughter.
End of my speech.
Later the girl's parent replied after one week stating the following. The girl's parents denied my proposal stating that the boy is talking too much before marriage and how dare he was to talk directly to the girl's father stating his conditions. (Let the girl get a better boy than myself Insha allah). Hazrat please let me know if I had spoke wrong so that I would correct myself.
Q: How does one stop looking down on others? e.g. I recently went for 10 days jamaat with 1 brother, and on returning home, the first week back he is already very slack with his amaal as before. Now the fact is that he is not punctual with his amaal at all, and I look down on the unpunctuality but say to myself that he is a good person and must make dua for him, and make shukr that Allah grants me tawfiq to remain steadfast, and think that I musn't look down on him because maybe our situations could be reversed one day, etc. So in this situation is this considered looking down on others, pride?
Q: I want to marry a sister but some problems have cropped up for which I would need your guidance in the light of Quran and Hadith. I am 27 (an engineer) and well settled Alhamdullilah and the sister 26 (a doctor by profession) were school mates but never spoke to each other. Later after a few years when we both were in university, we chatted online and met a couple of times. We liked each other and wanted to make the relation Halal, so the sister informed her parents. Her father met me and we shared a good relation. Unfortunately my parents didn't agree saying I was too young for marriage (I was 24 that time). The sisters father waited for around 6 months for my parents to agree but when my parents did agree (in the 7th month), the sisters father angrily refused the marriage and said this marriage will only take place over his dead body. My parents felt sorry for refusing the marriage earlier and they visited the sisters house, but her father didn't entertain us and told us to never show our faces again. The sister tried to involve her mother, uncle and everyone else to make her father agree, but no one in the house can stand up to him as he is the most powerful person in the house. The sister doesn't have any access to an Islamic scholar who could help her father understand and he is not very keen to discuss any islamic matters with anyone as he is not very religious. Its been over 3 years now and there is no way he will agree. I have tried to do some research on this topic, and I have found that most Hadith say that a marriage is invalid without the consent of a wali. We are from the Hanafi madhab and I think our madhab allows a girl to marry without a wali under special circumstances. What do you think is the best option for both of us now at this stage of our lives?
Q: I got married before one and a half years. Fourth days after my marriage. My husband met an accident. He had brain surgery. At present he
is paralysed on one side. He has a memory problem, can't talk clearly, can't make sentences, he can't work. After the accident I was caring for him for one year. Between this I suffered lot from my mother in-law. Nobody is caring for me. I am very stressed. Within forty days my life changed. After one year I prayed ishikara and I am planing to divorce him, but my husband's parents and not giving divorce and they simply extending the days. My parents are planning to do faskh. I want to know about faskh and how to do it?
Q: I suffer from urinary dribbling after using the washroom. I try my best, before I have to pray, to make it stop. Thereafter, I proceed to make wudhu and to pray. However, during prayer, I experience (very regularly) the feeling of something coming out. But I just choose to ignore this feeling, dismissing it as mere doubt and waswaas, and I continue praying (saying to myself that nothing came out). My question is, is it necessary for me to check, after prayer, if something did in fact come out? If it is necessary, what is the status of all those prayers I prayed where I did not check?
Q: I am a Muslim. My dad drinks alcohol and comes home in the evening and my step mother complains to my dad for simple mistakes and my dad abuses me and sometime beats me. Every day this happens. I have no freedom. They treat me like a prisoner. Recently I left home and came to my grand fathers house. Life here is peaceful. My father is calling me back but I am scared to go because those things will occur again in my life. I don't want to go back. My grand father is supporting me too. But I have a doubt should I go or should I live live with my grand father. Please help me and
give me the best answer according to Islam.
Q: I want know is it fair towards a woman if her husband has a lady friend which he has more time for. He wattsapp or sms's her at night and when I ask him he tells me I am always negative. And this is going on for years. I told him that I will speak to his boss because they are working together. On Saturday I asked him is he so late on wattsapp with her, he blocked me on wattsapp. If he has nothing to hide so why did he block me? Please advise.