Advice

Q: I was reciting many duas for getting married and finding a good spouse (like rabbi inni lima anzalta ilaiyya min khairin fakeer and innama ashku bassi wa huzni illallah) and I got a proposal a bit strangely. The mother of the boy saw me in the market and started asking my mother questions. Then they came to our house. They seem like very nice people. The problem is that Im still confused, the boy doesnt seem very relegious and he did his graduation from London so he is friends with all kind of people. We asked our imam of the masjid and he said that this proposal is good for me. I have performed istikhara for 7 days and didnt see any dream so mufti sahab asked me to offer 2 rakaht nafal prayer in which I would recite surah kosar 41 times in the first rakat and recite surah nasr 41 times in the 2nd rakaht. I read this nafal for almost 7 days and saw different dreams. One wasnt good and others were good but according to mufti sahab the bad one could be the evil dream but im extremely confused and worried. Please help me out as this decision is the biggest decision of my life and I dont want to regret later on.

Q: I have been married for four months. My husband earns a decent salalry and is loving. However the problem arises when my husband leaves me with my in laws and then goes to his office. During the day I'm expected to serve my in laws, which obviously they dont acknowledge. On his return from the office, which is around late 11'o clock, he takes me back to his rented apartment and there he helps me with the daily chores. Needless to mention we do discuss my day which ends up in an argument. On his week off, my husband is supposed to stay with my in laws and he cannot sit or talk to me because that sounds indisciplined to my father in law. If he spends time with me on weekends, I have to face cold vibes from my in laws. I spoke to my husband that its better for our relationship that I stay at our rented apartmnent. Still everyday he drops me off at my in laws. Besides this I asked my mother in law to pay us a little more than 250 rupees daily a month so that we can save and buy our own apartment. She created a fuss that I want all of my husbands salary and I'm being selfish. My husbands salary goes entirely to his parents and he is given 250 rupees daily by his parents. When I tried to clear the misunderstanding that I only asked for dividing his income in two equal parts, they said that I was selfish and a home eater. Also my husband has to seek permision from my father in law whether he can take me out or not. All that makes me feel hatred towards my husband as he cant stand an speak up for me. I want to know if I am wrong if I seek my husbands time and half his earnings? Am I wrong in saying that I dont want my father in law to decide for us? Should I be patient or ask them for my rights?

Q: I have a problem if you could give me advice and letting me know what is the problem. Most people called me bad luck (منحوس) and some how I realized that I really am because nothing is working out with me. Now when I am really thinking about it, somehow it is true. If I start working for any friend, their work or business goes down and if I want to start investing money, that business gets problems. I am more than eligible and want to work till the last moment but at the end it doesnt happen. So many times I have found someone and wanted to go further and get married but somehow I do istekhara and it didnt work out. My dad holds a degree from Madina university KSA but when I was sbout 13 years old my dad married another woman. My dad was a business man and later I realized that my father took money from everyone and he told them that you are my partner in my business. He showed them that the business is good but it wasn't. Many family people trusted him and gave him money and he didnt return the money. No one knows where the money goes. I told you this short story because everyone and their family has been in worst situation. Is it because of their curse that I am not moving forward? Is it because of their bad-dua that I cant be something in life? I really am confused and sometimes it makes me cry that I didn't do anything wrong with any people then why I am a bad luck person for people? For a long time I wasnt talking to my dad and told him that you are a wrong person, even he wasn't satisfied with me and was really upset that I dont visit him. I am not talking with him often but if he has some work then he would call and I would go but now I am little bit ok. We do talk sometimes and he is always telling me to forgive him and do dua for me. Please give me an advice and show me the way so everything works out.

Q: Im a 40 year old male, married to the same woman now twice, 3 kids. Nothing has changed since our first marriage and I dont seem like anything will. My wife is unaffectionate, loving, no motherly time, no husband time, only about her business and her issues in her life. Im tired, everyday I wonder should I leave, if I do I will die without my kids. I cannot even think of waking up and not having them there. Life must have a solution, speaking to her does not change anything. Every day that goes by Im slowly dieing inside. What do I do?

Q: I am experiencing blockages in wealth. Just when I think things are getting a bit better, something will happen. I can never save money. Please advise.

Q: Husband is against niqaab and compells wife to mingle with his family male members. He doesnt want to divorce her but pressuring and humiliating her for changing her to speak to men and fights for the same. Wife is keen on covering herself and wants to know if she can divorce her husband? Will Allah have anger on her if she do so? Their kid is 8 years old, will she get the custody of her kid?

Q: My son married a girl of his choice. She is short tempered and does not take care of his clothes and food. She pushed him twice to give talaaq. He does not want to do anything against Deen. He thinks he is stuck with her for the rest of his life. She demanded to live separately so he got her a house. But they still fight a lot. He is very unhappy. What does the Deen say in this regard? Can he separate her?

Q: I keep hitting a dead end with my business, and recently smashed a car twice in one week. Work gets done, but clients keep avoiding me and shukar to Allah Ta'ala that he makes that little come. If you can let me know if I should worry, as the past I had in law and family hasad and other related issues. I have two boys, one 4 and the other 1 year. Im married for 9 years to a revert. 

Q: Nowadays I am quite worried. Please tell me what steps should I take to make my life normal.

I live in pakistan, where when you get married, people think that now you are their servant. I have graduated in software engineering but my husband dont allow me to work. I understand he is my husband and he can give me orders. But my problem is that his parents also think that they are my responsibility. His mother's attitude is not good with me from the time I got married. His mother says that there is nothing appreciatable or good in me, I am ugly and dont do any thing good. Although my relatives say thay I am good looking. I am telling you this so that you can understand that she hurts me and insults me and expects that I have to serve her. Last time my mother in law said that if I cannot do what she says then I have to stay in my parents home just because I made bread dough with my own recipe not like what she said. Along with other household chores she wants me to even iron her and her husband cloths. Although I have the responsibility of my husband and a daughter. My main issue is their behaviour and their insults. Now I am at my parents home and I refuse to go back to my in laws home. I have asked my husband that I will only go back if he will take me and his mother to some mufti so that the mufti could tell that his parents that they are not my responsibility. Maybe in this way their attitude will change. But my husband refused so now I'm in my parents home. Do you think what I have done is right? Please tell me what I should do? Because I have lost all my self respect for my husband and in laws . Still they are not happy. They have made me hate myself. Please tell me if my husband can force me to serve his parents?

Q: I know someone who has an eating disorder; when advised to eat by her parents she refuses and advises that she is putting on 'too much weight'. Is there a ruling in Islam regarding this to explain to her that what she is doing is wrong?