Advice

Q: I have often heard: "Perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you and hate a thing and it is good for you..."

I am very confused about this. Say, if we used the example of a person that we love and ask Allah for but do not get to be with them because they are bad for us. If we end up with who is good for us will we still not love them as much as we loved the initial person? Will we have to convince ourselves to like them by telling ourselves that this is good for us for reasons we don't know? Being human, won't there be the initial disappointment of not getting who we wanted? They say in time you will come to see in what ways they were better for you but won't you be miserable up until that time by being with someone you didn't love as much?

I've also heard that you get from Allah what you expect from him but then at the same time they say that you should not set your heart on anything or you could be disappointed and that you should acknowledge a possibility of not getting it .

They say that dua can change taqdeer but only if what you make dua for is good for you, but what if your dua is that it should be good for you?

Q: My question is that my son is married and is living in another town which is half way between us and his in laws. He wants to move back to where we are living but his wife's does not want to move as she feels that she has a duty to live near her parents as she is the oldest and has no brothers. In Islam, should she obey her husband as to where he wants to live and accept it or does she have any other rights? There is no restriction to her as she is free to meet her parents as she wishes.

Q: We are 4-5 ladies having taleem weekly in a small town. We read from Fazail e amal and sunnah kitaab, questions and answers (those which we cannot answer, we answer the following week). Ladies want us to talk also about akhlaaq, death, etc. Kindly recommend kitaabs we can use and also provide correct format of having taleem and any other things we can discuss. Also duaa to be recited at ending of taleem.

Q: I'm female and married. Right now I'm passing through difficult times and this is between my parents. My father is not speaking to my mother and this happens every six months on such small things. I have 2 younger sisters. We never interrupted between them fearing that they might get separated.  He is not staying with them and threatening my mother that he can marry any women if he can.

Q: I live in India and I want to know if I can work in MNC company. These companies had taken loans and so these companies are in loan, so its forbidden to work in there. Companies like Tata, Vodaphone, Samsung, Nokia and many more also do the same. My family wants me to work in these companies but almost every company had taken loan or given a loan and there is no Islamic company that follows proper Islamic law. Females also work in these companies. Please advise.

Q: I work for a Medical company and I make a good living, Alhamdulillah. I never wanted to discuss this with anybody but I have to. My mom has a really bad habit of stealing stuff from stores like grocery stores and marts. This makes me soo disgusted and embarassed. Whenever I take her to any store, she steals stuff. I make almost 7 to 8K Dollars a month which is suffient to live but she keeps stealing. I tried to tell her nicley not to do this as it is a big sin but she shouted and said not to misbehave with her. Please let me know the best way to let her know about this gunah. 

Q: My sister got married two weeks ago. Before marriage her father in law was good but now he is showing his true colours. My sister is working for the government. Please tell me a waifza to read for her so that her married life becomes easy. We only two sisters and our dad died last year. Her father in law was our dad's best friend but he is not good anymore. I'm in UK and I can't support my sister. She does as her father in law says but her in laws are still not happy. On the second day of the wedding, we came to know their reality but we wanted our sister to be in that home as her husband is very good. Please tell us a wazifa to read.

Q: My husband, 36, has been having an affair with my niece, 20, for the past few years. Everytime I confronted him he denied it and twists it around like I'm crazy and insecure. However yesterday I caught them redhanded in each others arms kissing, etc. What is the position of my nikah with him? We have 2 sons aged 16 & 14 and a daughter 11. My concern is custody of my children, should I choose to divorce. Please advice me of the way forward.

Q: I am studying architecture 3rd year. I am 22 years old. I like a boy who is 3 years younger than me, he is still studying mechanical engineering and is in 2nd year. We both will be completing after 2 years. I spoke about that boy to my mom and she didnt even consider it as his family belongs to a middle class or does not stand with our family status. She strictly rejected it as he is also 3 years younger than me. He is a well mannered person and his character is good as well. I feel that this is more than enough to consider in spouse rather than wealth and family background. I feel that there is no such restriction in Islam when it comes to the age of marrying and moreover our Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) was 25 years when he got married to Hazrat Khadijah. I said that I will complete my studies and by that time he will be completing his engineering as well and we both looking forward to getting married. My parents are not listening to my wish and are forcing me to marry someone of their choice. Because of all these issues in my home, I am unable to concentrate on my studies. Please help me in resolving this matter. 

Q: Is it permissible for a husband to continue a friendship with a girl?