Advice

Premarital relationship

Q: I am studying architecture 3rd year. I am 22 years old. I like a boy who is 3 years younger than me, he is still studying mechanical engineering and is in 2nd year. We both will be completing after 2 years. I spoke about that boy to my mom and she didnt even consider it as his family belongs to a middle class or does not stand with our family status. She strictly rejected it as he is also 3 years younger than me. He is a well mannered person and his character is good as well. I feel that this is more than enough to consider in spouse rather than wealth and family background. I feel that there is no such restriction in Islam when it comes to the age of marrying and moreover our Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) was 25 years when he got married to Hazrat Khadijah. I said that I will complete my studies and by that time he will be completing his engineering as well and we both looking forward to getting married. My parents are not listening to my wish and are forcing me to marry someone of their choice. Because of all these issues in my home, I am unable to concentrate on my studies. Please help me in resolving this matter. 

Thoughts of shirk

Q: I have this problem for long time. It first started with a small doubt and after that it felt like if I do anything, bad or a sin, it's shirk because that means that I am giving more importance to it than Allah. I felt like talking to girls is forbidden so if I talk to girls it's shirk. So if I talk to girls then I am giving more importance to talk to girls than to Allah. So then I stopped talking. For a few days I ignore this thought and talked to girls, then I felt like I am committing shirk. One part of me was like it's not really shirk, if  I make it as shirk allah will forgive and u can do that as a normal sin. After some time its gone, then that thought comes that whatever I do when I watch a movie or whenever I talk to my friend. After a while those thoughts disappear. I ignore those thoughts and live my life as normal Muslims and now those kinds of thoughts strted coming even stronger. Whatever I do, those kind of thoughts are coming that if its shirk, I'll stop doing it. Is doing this confusion and this mindset shirk or not? Because I feel like even if it is not shirk by doing this mean I am ok with this even it's shirk but am not ok .. I now these things are sin ins Islam but these are not shirk ryt even am confused to talk to mom this is not not only for this matter even when i talk with my frndz these kind of thoughts are coming ? So I thought these friend or anyone not more important than Allah am talking to them as normAl as other muslims talks without giving more important but then my mind was like these things are not shirk ok I are not giving important to them but previous which U thought in beginning u did with doubts no so those are shirk even if I talk without giving more important and as normal I make this as shirk so now if I do that it shirk ...so now doing these things which are not actually shirk is shirk or not ?? Is there is anything I can do to make those things as normal sin or normal thing because these thoughts came from waswas problem no please give me some solutions ... nd help me to understand are these things are shirk or not ? Is theres anything I can do to be normal

Not feeling confident

Q: I have 3 kids but I am jobless since 3 years. I dont know whats happening with me, its kind of thinking again and again of the past and regretting. I am not confident enough to do anything. Can you please suggest some duas and amal to get rid of these situations. 

Woman searching for a job

Q: I am a single parent of two career children living in a rented house and jobless for the last 21 months. I am surrounded with problems and now dependent upon my parents and under debts. Wherever I apply for a job, they like me but then no response for months and when I follow up they either reject me or say that the position is on hold. I am worried and depressed, my son and I pray a lot and recite Quran all the time and try hard to do good deeds but no change in our circumstances and no hope of getting a job. My previous employer has deducted my held salary for one year because I am in law suit with them too. A huge amount is due upon them as they breached the contract. Please pray and let me know what to do. I pray tahajjud as well and never missed any prayer. Thinking to start fasting from tomorrow. I took your advice on my nikaah as well and you approved it to be valid because I was doubting my nikaah as the families were not involved. Just did proposal and acceptance in front of two male Muslims. Please help me and let me know how my situation can be improved. I am living with my son. My second husband visits me and my children know about him. So its not completely secret.

Dealing with a dominating family

Q: How to deal with a dominating family? Basicaly my mother is always undermining a divorcee daughter and always ignoring what she enjoys etc. No respect for her. etc. How do we build the ties? The daughter has moved to her own place but the problems are still there and it's damaging the relationship. The daughter tried talking to her siblings and the parents but it's ignored. In Islam it's important to have family ties etc. what's the best approach?

In-laws taking away daughter in-law's jewellery and refusing to pay her mahr

Q: Is it right for an ex husband and his family to keep all the wifes jewelleries and refused to pay her maher? Last year his parents went for hajj but they still refused to give back what is hers. What's the Islamic understanding of this matter? She left it upto Allah but doesn't understand why they would steal her jewellery without her consent.