Advice

Q: I have a friend who is in a situation, she is getting married in less than a month Insha Allah. She has made many changes in her life as growing up for her was on the jahiliya path with the wrong crowd and being involved in a lot of haraam things. Now she was in a haraam relationship and it was ended many years ago. She had met this guy who now she is engaged to and introduced the parents were now alhumdulilah are getting on and like I said nearly getting married. My friend committed a sin a few months ago and committed zina with her past relationship. She has repented sincerely and has promised herself not to ever let shaitaan win over temptations and commit haraam again. She now isn't sure if she should be honest with her husband to be or to not expose her sins what can she do?

Q: One of my friends has obssesive compulsive disorder. She always doubts things. Now she's doubting if her children are her own children or not because she saw on news that the hospital she delivered her children, they sometimes forget to put the mothers name tag on the child's hand so the child might go to the wrong mother. Thats why she is really worried. What should she do now? 

Q: Is it bad for you to make dua that you and your crush marry each other, in your prayers?

Q: My husband keeps accusing me of looking at other men and not to cause him shame in the community. He doesn't like me going out and doesn't trust me even though I wear full jilbaab and niqaab. I also have some knowledge of the Deen. We've been married for 22 years and have 7 children. He has always been jealous but it got worse in the last 3 years. I'm not interested in other men and when I tell him he doesn't believe me.

Q: I have met a Christian friend over Facebook 3 years ago and we are now close friends, even best friends. I have tried to convince him to become a Muslim but no results. I am a girl and Muslim and my friend is a boy and Christian. Isn't this haram?

Q: If I was ready to commit a sin even it is shirk, does that mean that I comitted shirk ? Will that sin be shirk if I do it again? If I am doing something with the doubt whether it's shirk or not does that mean I comit shirk ? If I dont stop doing a thing with doubt that it might be shirk .. does that mean am committing shirk ? What can do for over come this ?? Is that mean I comit shirk and is it shirk to do that thing again or have some other way to ask forgiveness and do as normal sin ? Will Allah forgive me if I continue this sin and think as normal sin or will it be considered as shirk if I do these sin ? These are not important than Allah so what should I do ?

Q: I am just worried and getting anxiety worrying and thinking if:

1. If my nikah is valid with my husband. Alhumdulillah we are so happy but the thought comes that, did your husband ever said divorce? I never heard him say it.

2. If hurmate musaahara took place anytime? If my dad's nikah is valid? I'm just worring and thinking that suppose hurmate musaahara took place. Supposed my dad's nikah is not valid. Suppose my nikah is not valid. I'm so happy masha allah with my husband but these thoughts come.

3. I am not sure if sure hurmate musaahara took place. I am getting these thoughts that supposed it was lust when I shook my sisters hand or my husband's. Those thoughts don't come only when my father touched or shakes my hand or touch me.

4. Now in my mind I think that hurmate musaahara happened when some feeling comes in your vagina or that liquid comes out when you are ready for sex. So when my dad shakes my hand I think that if something is happening in my vagina, even before my father shakes my hand, I am scared.

5. Now I'm also worried and I'm getting thoughts about my Imaan. I listen to bayaans and I keep reading the kalimah. I say I am a Muslim. I am not feeling in my heart who I was before. Is it kufr to say so? Is my nikah valid? Thoughts of hadith, Islam, Quraan and Allah comes in my mind. I know Islam is a true religion but I'm not feeling the sukoon that I get thoughts on religion. When I listen to a bayan and listen to stories of sahaba and about our prophet and what he went through for us, I feel it in my heart and I don't have the feeling in my heart. I keep reading the Kalimah and i get thoughta that am I a Muslim? I say to myself yes I am a muslim. Please help me and make dua for me. Allah keep me steadfast on deen n make me die with Imaan.

Q: I have often heard: "Perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you and hate a thing and it is good for you..."

I am very confused about this. Say, if we used the example of a person that we love and ask Allah for but do not get to be with them because they are bad for us. If we end up with who is good for us will we still not love them as much as we loved the initial person? Will we have to convince ourselves to like them by telling ourselves that this is good for us for reasons we don't know? Being human, won't there be the initial disappointment of not getting who we wanted? They say in time you will come to see in what ways they were better for you but won't you be miserable up until that time by being with someone you didn't love as much?

I've also heard that you get from Allah what you expect from him but then at the same time they say that you should not set your heart on anything or you could be disappointed and that you should acknowledge a possibility of not getting it .

They say that dua can change taqdeer but only if what you make dua for is good for you, but what if your dua is that it should be good for you?

Q: My question is that my son is married and is living in another town which is half way between us and his in laws. He wants to move back to where we are living but his wife's does not want to move as she feels that she has a duty to live near her parents as she is the oldest and has no brothers. In Islam, should she obey her husband as to where he wants to live and accept it or does she have any other rights? There is no restriction to her as she is free to meet her parents as she wishes.

Q: We are 4-5 ladies having taleem weekly in a small town. We read from Fazail e amal and sunnah kitaab, questions and answers (those which we cannot answer, we answer the following week). Ladies want us to talk also about akhlaaq, death, etc. Kindly recommend kitaabs we can use and also provide correct format of having taleem and any other things we can discuss. Also duaa to be recited at ending of taleem.