Q: I want to have a baby and my husband does not want. We are both in our 40s and he says he is too old. I have tried talking to him but he doesn't want to listen. Iasked him maybe we can go see a Moulana and get some counselling but he says no. Is there anything else I can do?
Q: I need advice please. I'm going through a very tough time in my marriage. Its only been 3 years and I can no longer do this anymore. Please advice me whether I'm in the wrong or do I have the right to let this end please.
Its totally unacceptable for my husband to treat me this way. What kind man tells his wife dress up like a white women and behave like them. He pressurizes me to wear tight clothing and low tops to show cleavage. When I say no he swears me and tells me I'm old and boring yet I dress up in my home for him.
He searches other women on the internet, he looks around from head to toe at all those women that wear totally revealing clothes and still tells my parents I'm insecure!
His been on an escort site. I haven't even mentioned it to my parents because my mother seems to be on his side. He so fast to message my mother telling her how I'm behaving with regards to other women and how insecure I am. And all she says is when I find a job I'll understand and be more open minded. How is that being open minded? I can't be in this marriage anymore. The amount of things he does made me loose respect of him and makes me lash out at him. Is there any proof that says paying mehr money makes me his prostitute? I give up.
I have no one to rely on. I can't seem to speak to my mother about this because she listens and does nothing about it. Therefore my husband laughs at me telling me my parents don't speak up because they afraid his going to divorce me and then I'm their burden again. He keeps doing this and tells me sweep it under the carpet, its the past. So everytime he messes up I must forgive and just let it go? What's the point of marriage then if he says his allowed to do whatever he wills and I have no right whatsoever to complain.
Every single time he says I must let him look around and if he does I must be quiet I mustn't open my mouth. He says we young we must enjoy life we will be more happier if I just don't bother. Is he right? Please advise me on what I need to do.
Q: I am 25 years old married having a 2 year old baby girl. I am from Iran (sunni-hanafi) but was born and brought up in Dubai. I was guiltly trapped into marriage thou I did not like my husband. I have a 10 years gap with my husband and we both are very different. I grew up in a religious family and his family is so fancy. Hence, he never liked me and even I couldn't feel any love towards him because he is so proud, always so angry and talks meanly. He does not like me to visit my relatives or go shopping he just wants me to stay home. He always makes fun of me and my family. He is always so suspicious. He does not love, respect or trust me. We even have communication problem. Every time we speak, we end up arguing because we always misunderstand each other. I don't feel comfortable talking to him because he gets angry quickly and says rude and mean stuff to me. He goes and tells his mom whatever happens at home and he doesn't pray. Only in the month of Ramadhan he will pray and fast 30 days and then not even go for Eid prayers. Rest of the 11 months he wont pray atall. Thou I keep telling him to pray and I always make dua and have even fasted 3 days for Allah to give him hidaya he always listens to music. He does not work his father pays are expenses.3 years have passed to our marriage and i havent seen any change in him.I have lost my paitence and im so tired.It has now reached to a point that i get disgusted when he touchs me and i get so furious when he talks to me and is around.i keep refusing when he calls me to bed. But he use to force me and i know its sin to refuse your husband so i use to let him thou inside it killed me.I tried to explain to him that the way he treats me has brought a big distance between us but he said that im just bringing up excuses because i dont love him and dont want to live with him and said if i dont want to live with him i can leave and not even think of asking for the baby.My mom suggested me to tell him that if he starts praying i will put a stone on my heart and stay with him for the sake of Allah.But he disagreed to it and said he will start from ramadhan.So i told him either you start praying or give me a divorce.i really dont believe him why not pray today why after 4 months and his like i will try to change but i have really lost hope in him.Then i decided to pray istikhara for a week and prayed to Allah to show me the way by that if he starts praying i will stay and if not i will leave.After a week i took my baby and went to my parents house. But he came and wanted to take my baby, my mom had guests that day so before he could make an issue she asked me to go with him.Thou he knows im thinking of separation he forces me to bed.I want to give it a chance just for the sake of my child because i know he won't let me have her if i separate. But mentally im very disturbed and depressed and im afraid as a wife i won't be able to do my duties i wont be able to obey him because i have really lost hope in him.Please help me decide.
Q: I am married for 15 years with three children, I love my wife but she is very difficult. She has slowly changed from committed women to complete irresponsible lady, took hijab out without my consent, then she stop praying and fasting, then she start going out with liberal clothes until we have been clashing several times. She put forward a divorce petition and made few false allegations to police in order to support her divorce. I have tried to calm her down as the divorce is not justified, invited her to do haj together but she refused, then I realised after a while that she was in relationship with another atheist man for a long time over Facebook who was teaching her how to get divorced and gets maximum money compensation in order to come to UK. The divorce still not finalized and we are in dispute about the children care at this stage. She is taking advantage of the law in this country and does not want to follow shariah law, having said that our marriage was done in Islamic country before we came to UK. What should I do with somebody broken the family and does not obey Islamic rules?
Q: My father has been treating my mother with unnecessary banter and quarrels for about 20 years now. I don't remember a time in my house where we openly laughed. My father does not love my mother, because if he did he'd see the pain he's causing her. My father yells at my mother for no reason and accuses her of such she didn't do. He doesn't trust her as well. He's been causing her all this pain and she's been dealing with it just for her two daughters. I suggested she divorce him. My dad has had a previous wife as well which he divorced. What should I do? Should I convince my mom to get a divorce and be happy?
Q: Is there any effective cure for Narcissistic Personality Disorder in Islam?
Q: I am a young Muslim trying to learn about Islam. I am confused about the rights a husband is given in Islam. Basically, in our patriarchal society that has adopted many myths/beliefs/practices from Indo-Pak culture and polytheistic religions, some of our clerics attribute certain rights to husbands that go against the fundamental principles of Islam.
For example, our clerics say that a husband has authority over his wife like a master has over his slave, whereas Islam clearly says that authority is for Allah alone and attributing authority to anyone else is shirk.
Secondly, our clerics say that a husband has the right to be obeyed as long as it doesn't go against shariah. Whereas there is not a single Quranic verse or a single Hadith in Sahih Bukhari that a husband has such a right. Rather what is said in Quran is that both believing men and women are commanders to each other as they forbid what's wrong and enjoin what's good. Quran tells us in clear wordings that men and women are each other's *partners* and a Muslim must always conduct his affairs with *mutual consultaion/shoora* So even if there are some non authentic/daeef/disputed ahadith about obeying husband, can they alone be used to make such a serious ruling that affects every house?
Thirdly, our clerics say that after marriage, a husband has more right over a woman than her parents. Whereas Quran makes it clear for every Muslim male and female that after Allah Ta'ala and His Messenger, parents have the most right over a person. The hadith by Al-Hakeem which goes like, "who has the most right over a woman..." has been classified daeef by many scholars, so again... can such disputed ahadith be given priority over clear cut verses of Quran? Fourthly, it is a very fundamental thing that humans have been given the will/choice by Allah to follow His path or not. But some clerics say that suddenly a husband gets the right to use force if his wife doesn't obey him in any matter/or does something unIslamic, like he can shout at her, hit her or close her in a room/house etc. Whereas, Islam teaches us to give peaceful counseling to people who do wrong things, and pray to Allah for their well-being, perhaps Allah may guide them some time/days/months/years later towards the right path. So according to you, does a husband has the right to even force his wife to obeying him?
Q: My husband recently started a new business course. I asked him how many women are there in the class and he got very angry and said I am pathetic and a sad person.
1. Islamically is it okay for a wife to enquire such things from her husband?
2. Can you please refer me to specific duas to help our marriage and to calm my husband down as he has a very bad short temper (with everyone).
Q: I was a non-Muslim girl with staying with parents. I left my home and parents without any reason. I left my home when my age was 17 and now I am 29 years old. I converted to Islam at the age of 18 and still am. I had stayed alone and still stay alone. I have went through many hurdles in my life and still going on. Many people used me for their benefits. Now a days I don't know why but my Imaan is getting weaker. It is not like that I don't trust Allah Ta'ala or have no more faith but due to my problems and not becoming any good things in life I am getting worried.
There is much more to say but don't know how should I open up as there is no one in my life to share my each good and bad things.
Q: I am 36 yrs old married with 2 kids and suddenly started thinking about other man who is also married. I am praying to Allah day and night that I don't want to think about him. Please pray and tell me some dua I want to forget him.