Advice

Q: Is there any effective cure for Narcissistic Personality Disorder in Islam?

Q: I am a young Muslim trying to learn about Islam. I am confused about the rights a husband is given in Islam. Basically, in our patriarchal society that has adopted many myths/beliefs/practices from Indo-Pak culture and polytheistic religions, some of our clerics attribute certain rights to husbands that go against the fundamental principles of Islam.

For example, our clerics say that a husband has authority over his wife like a master has over his slave, whereas Islam clearly says that authority is for Allah alone and attributing authority to anyone else is shirk.

Secondly, our clerics say that a husband has the right to be obeyed as long as it doesn't go against shariah. Whereas there is not a single Quranic verse or a single Hadith in Sahih Bukhari that a husband has such a right. Rather what is said in Quran is that both believing men and women are commanders to each other as they forbid what's wrong and enjoin what's good. Quran tells us in clear wordings that men and women are each other's *partners* and a Muslim must always conduct his affairs with *mutual consultaion/shoora* So even if there are some non authentic/daeef/disputed ahadith about obeying husband, can they alone be used to make such a serious ruling that affects every house?

Thirdly, our clerics say that after marriage, a husband has more right over a woman than her parents. Whereas Quran makes it clear for every Muslim male and female that after Allah Ta'ala and His Messenger, parents have the most right over a person. The hadith by Al-Hakeem which goes like, "who has the most right over a woman..." has been classified daeef by many scholars, so again... can such disputed ahadith be given priority over clear cut verses of Quran? Fourthly, it is a very fundamental thing that humans have been given the will/choice by Allah to follow His path or not. But some clerics say that suddenly a husband gets the right to use force if his wife doesn't obey him in any matter/or does something unIslamic, like he can shout at her, hit her or close her in a room/house etc. Whereas, Islam teaches us to give peaceful counseling to people who do wrong things, and pray to Allah for their well-being, perhaps Allah may guide them some time/days/months/years later towards the right path. So according to you, does a husband has the right to even force his wife to obeying him?

Q: My husband recently started a new business course. I asked him how many women are there in the class and he got very angry and said I am pathetic and a sad person.

1. Islamically is it okay for a wife to enquire such things from her husband?

2. Can you please refer me to specific duas to help our marriage and to calm my husband down as he has a very bad short temper (with everyone).

Q: I was a non-Muslim girl with staying with parents. I left my home and parents without any reason. I left my home when my age was 17 and now I am 29 years old. I converted to Islam at the age of 18 and still am. I had stayed alone and still stay alone. I have went through many hurdles in my life and still going on. Many people used me for their benefits. Now a days I don't know why but my Imaan is getting weaker. It is not like that I don't trust Allah Ta'ala or have no more faith but due to my problems and not becoming any good things in life I am getting worried.

There is much more to say but don't know how should I open up as there is no one in my life to share my each good and bad things.

Q: I am 36 yrs old married with 2 kids and suddenly started thinking about other man who is also married. I am praying to Allah day and night that I don't want to think about him. Please pray and tell me some dua I want to forget him.

Q: My marriage is going to be fixed with one girl whose father has some haram earnings in the past. Also he confessed this and he accepted this and he done taubah. By knowing his past should I marry his daughter.

Q: I've lost a lot of weight lately unintentionally. I can never eat until I'm full without the food trying to come back up. I've tried going to the doctor and they believe I'm perfectly fine. My family think it may be the evil eye. How do I know if I have the evil eye? And if I do what is the right cure.

Q: Unfortunately many of us Muslims are now suffering from obesity including myself. Are there any prescriptions from Islamic sources with which to combat this lifestyle disease and to lose weight?

Q: My husband and I are not living together. He had me thrown out of our marital home when I was pregnant. He has also uttered talaaq and revoked it. He has since moved back to his ex wife who he irrevocably talaaq. He is aware they living in haraam and refuses to let me go. He has asked me for sex saying we can get a room to which I refused and he got angry. He doesn't see to any of my needs but expects me to have sex with him then he brings me back to my mother house and he goes back to his mistress. Do I have a right to refuse him. Because now he using the deen against me whereas he not living according to Allah laws.

Q: I work in qatar and I dont have family status to bring my wife and kids. I just got opportunity to work abroad. My brother works in dubai and stays with his wife and kids. My sisters husband recently got opportunity in saudi without family status. So my sister stays with my parents. Sisters husband also trying for family visa due to situtation, but his company not giving him and he is trying utmost level. Once he gets it he'll take my sister to saudi.

My wife was staying with my family members and after my sister comes home, my wife is upset due to my parents giving more importance to my sisters kids. Because of this my wife fought with me and now she is in her mothers house.

After continuous quarells with me, my brother got to know she had daily quarel with me, so brother called and shout her. So my wife got very angry and she informed to her parents and fight went beyond. Everyone knows in our society, how innocent my parents are, just because of they give importance to daughter kids, my wife got jealous due to this. She feels my parents doesnt care to take care my kids and they take care to my sister kids like that she feels.

We stay in rent house my things and brother things are in same rent house. In my house we have one big room and 1 small. big room my sister and parents sleep and small room me, my wife and kids. I knows its difficult to stay in small room due to small room, my wife fight daily with me to shift the house. During that time my finance was weak. Now al hamdhulilah i am earning good.

Now my wife wants separate rent house with my parents, she put the condition my brother things should not come, because my brother shouted her. My brother sasural family is from hyderabad, so we cannot send back their things, my parents will feel bad and brother sasural also feel bad if we send back their things. If we see two rents house, its difficult to manage to my parents, now they are old. My brother stay in abroad. I told my wife, please dont break brother bond, my parents cant take care two rent house and its difficult to maintain. But my wife is not ready to accept for this and she daily fights with me same. If i say my parents they feel very sad for this. Please advice me what step to be taken.