Advice

Q: I read that it is not good to talk too much. I realize I have this bad habit of excessive talking. What to do to stop myself as it is an old habit and sadly its roots are deep inside me?

Q: My son is 15 years old. At what age should I give my son the mobile phone? Since the situation in Pakistan is not very stable, so out of necessity I feel I will have to give it to him in future (when he is out of home).

Q: What is the shariah ruling about women taking kids to public parks? My husband is never willing to take our kids to park all on his own. He gets angry if I present the idea of him going with children only. I have to go with them (in full purdah, keeping my gaze lowered), am I sinning?

Q: Can a man have two wives if he is unable to support them? My husband has another wife. Both he and the other wife are unemployed and not earning any income. I am the only one working. We all live in one house. Being the only one working does not affect me as much as the fact that I have no alone time with my husband. I do not get to have any intimate time with my husband. He only shares that part with her because they are alone and we are not. The only alone time we have is when he says goodbye to me at the gate in the mornings. Please advise what to do. I make dua everyday that he finds a good job so that we can have separate homes. This is such a difficult situation and is taking its toll on me. I desperately want a child but with no alone time I obviously cannot even think about getting pregnant. A friend suggested that I get my own place and they must see to themselves but how do I do that to another person who I know does not have an income? Please help me figure this out?

Q: I am currently studying ACCA. There are 5 members ( parents, 2 sisters and me ) in my family. My 2 sisters will marry in future and they will leave our house. By the grace of Allah, few years ago our residential property converted to commercial property and because of this we can earn a good amount of rental income. My mother is saying that I will have to do job after completing ACCA. But my plan is to spend my life participating in religious activities like tableeg, serving my parents and humanity, praying, doing Hifz e Quran and becoming an Alim from Darul Ilm Birmingham's online Alim course. I don't want to do job because if I do job then I will not be able to devote myself enough for a high rank in Jannah (Jannatul Firdous). Its my wish to attain high level of Jannah. If I don't do the job then my mother will become angry and disheartened. But I don't agree with her because rental income is enough for a good life and there is no need of mine to do job. I think that Allah has granted the property so that I can use my time in a good way. Please advise on this. I am quite depressed.

Q: I would like to ask Mufti Saheb's opinion in regards to living with my in laws. I'm currently living at my husbands parents house and have been for the past 5 years. I have two little boys mashaAllah and am expecting my third child in April Insha Allah. I live with my husbands parents, his sister and sisters husband, his brother and brothers wife with a little child. I have been given one room to live with my children and husband and the space is very tight now especially with our expanding family. I want to know whether I am allowed to ask my husband to provide separate accommodation for us as I have started to really struggle with that many people and very limited space. I have been living here for quite a while now and things are getting difficult as my children are growing, the family is finding it hard to tolerate them, constant remarks are passed here and there which makes me very upset as a mother. There are also covering up issues as my brother in laws are around and sometimes there are slip ups where my hair or other parts get uncovered, especially with me running after my children all day at home. My husband has had numerous arguments with me over this but no matter how hard I try there are always slip ups. Alhamdulillah I have never raised my voice with anyone, I keep my peace with everyone over here, all I want is to live separately now. I don't ever want to take my husband away from his parents but I'm suffocating like this and can't carry on any longer. Would I be sinful for asking this off him? Does Islam give me a right to my own accommodation as a wife?

Q: Two years ago I got engaged to a girl and then I told her that if you want to live with me, you have to control yourself and don't do anything which affects our relation other wise if you do, I will do more bad and no sorry will be accepted then. She promised me that I will not do anything like that. But now after three months of my marriage I know that my wife was in a friendship with someone on the internet before marriage. Now I am confused what to do? I am not talking to her from 7 days. I want to know about my problem. What should I do according to the Islamic point of view?

Q: I am so stressed. I want a divorce from my husband but he is not agreeing. We had a secret Nikaah nobody knows about it till now. Now that the situations are worst and I can't continue to be his wife, I asked for divorce but he is not agreeing. Please tell me a wazifa which could help or anything. Please help me in this critical time please. What should I do?

Q: I am currently studying towards a degree in law, Alhamdullilah. Allah Ta'ala has granted me hidayat since this Ramadhaan. I am now contemplating continuing my degree as I find that studying the law which originates from the time the of Caesar is against Islam as we know that he was an astrologer and made people bow before him in his court, as we now from the incident with Abu sufyaan. Another concern of mines is referring to a judge as your "lord", "worship",etc. as this seems to represent the way Caesar ruled. I would rather study to be an Aalim, as knowledge can help be improve and I can lead my life in accordance with that knowledge inshallah and try to be an entrepreneur. My mother however is concerned that I started something and do not want to finish and wants me to have a career. I would be willing to continue studying law if I were able to study Alim as this would allow me to prove the superiority of shariah to legislatures of south african law. My apologies for the long question it just does not make sense to me to let man made laws judge our affairs, and my mothers concern is how I will earn as she is a single mother. I would like to look after her financially, although Allah will open another avenue if I am leaving the law for his sake Inshallah. Please advise me.

Q: If a wife wants to stop her husband from taking drugs and he keeps picking on food and other things that he provides for her and he wants her to leave work and stay at home but she is scared of doing that because he treats her like a dog. What does she do?