Advice

Q: Is there any basis for these advices and will it be preferable to follow it:

Deeds or foods that weaken the memory

1. Sins.

2. Sour Apples.

3. Vinegar.

4. All those things that cause phlegm.

5. Moist Coriander.

6. Salted meat.

7. Hot bread.

8. Eating from a pot.

9. The leftover drink of a rat.

10. Reading tombstones.

11. Witnessing a crucifixion.

12. Looking at stagnant water.

13. Looking at one’s own private parts.

14. Looking at the private parts of a woman.

15. Masturbation.

16. For a person in need of a fard bath to look at the sky.

17. Looking into the mirror of a cupper (one who does cupping).

18. Using a broken comb.

19. Urinating in stagnant water.

20. Urinating on the side of the road.

21. Urinating under a fruit tree.

22. Urinating into ash.

23. Making wudhu in an impure place.

24. Wiping the hands or face with the tail of the clothing/kurta/qamis etc.

25. Entering the Masjid with the left foot or leaving with the right.

26. Dusting clothes in the Masjid.

27. Sweeping with a cloth.

28. Using a pants or turban as a pillow.

29. Excessive joking.

30. Laughing in the graveyard.

31. Excessive worries of the world.

32. Cupping on the nape.

33. Throwing of live lice.

References for the above Al-Mu’jamul Kabir of Tabarani, Kitabul ‘ilm of Ibn Abi Khaithamah, pg.31, Al-Jami’u li akhlaqir rawi, pgs.400 & 404, Ta’limul Muta’allim pg. 43, Al-Maqasidul Hasanah pg. 519, Tazhkiratu Sami’ Wal Mutakallim pg. 77, At-tibb of Imam Dhahabi, pgs.174-175 & Raddul Muhtar.

Q: My wife and I are only for the children together. Unfortunately the coexistence does not work. We no longer understand and she would simply not divorce so I have no other choice than to let her continue to live with the children in my house. My question is here if I would commit a sin if we will stay with this way of living together? I let her live in her apartment with the children and provide them, but otherwise no intimate contact takes place. I have remarried and want to go with my new wife in the house, but she can remain in the apartment and I finance everything. Would that be a sin if she would also agree with this way of living?

Q: Is it ok for a husband to go on numerous holidays with his friends leaving his family behind? His argument is he provides and takes family too.

Q: My daughter who was 16 years was married to a relative. A few months into the marriage the husband seemed to have lost interest in the marriage and stopped talking to her and stopped spending time with her my wife and daughter made numerous attempts to reconcile the marriage but to no avail as the parents of the boy seemed to manage the situation from a distance and left all decisions to their son with very little input we even attempted the intervention of the jamiaat but they also failed to get any response from the boy who seemed completely disinterested in the marriage in conversations with the boys parents we were always asked for more time which we agreed to on numerous occasions however the boy than started flirting with other family females and many of the youngsters from the in-laws side started a social media campaign belittling and mocking my daughter this prompted us to ask the parents of the the boy to give her a divorce as all attempts to reconcile was fruitless as their son was not making any attempts to reconcile and encouraging family members to denigrate his wife that is my daughter his response was that he wanted to punish her after deliberations with the jamiaat and our family elders we asked for the divorce a few days later the parents of the boy dropped of a letter of divorce so my question to you is that the marriage which lasted for only +- three months before which and also during that many promises were made to her like giving her a monthly allowance,paying her medical bills,etc she even used her own money to go for mini breaks and paying for a holiday in advance which they they planned to go can she claim all the money spent on all the above and also the money spent on the wedding which in any case was a small affair. Please give advice and opinion.

Q: My qustion is about my brother inlaw: He is 23 years old and I am 27. My husband works 7 days a week and he comes home late night. On Sundays and in the mornings and evenings I am alone with my brother inlaw. We live in uk and have just one bedroom and living room where he sleeps. My problem is I am really not happy about sharing my life with him. I don't trust him and life is hard since I have to cover self while cooking, going to bathroom, etc. I have spoke to my husband about it but he doesn't care. My brother inlaw lives here illegally and he has got the option to live somewhere else as well by his own, the only difference will be that has to pay his own rent. My husband don't want that because he is after saving as much as money as he can. I feel angry and especially that I can't have my privacy and his brother finds out everything I won't like to tell him and so my in-laws through him. In last time me and my husband are having lots of arguments and he even gave me one talaq for no reason  because we had an argument on his brother. Now my question is: is it wrong in Islam if I don't want to live with my brother in-law? My husband spends more time with him then with me. I feel upset. Is not my rights bigger then his brother? Shouldnt he be more with me? I love my husband but I feel so much neglected that I'll say I'll leave him. My other questions is: What if I complain to the home office anonymously if it's allowed in Islam. I feel wrong to do so since we paid 7000£ for his brother to get here and I thought it'll be good so my husband will have some support, but I didn't know he'll live with us.

Q: Should a person cut relations and move away from parents and other close relations if he or she is being made to feel isolated because of failure to adhere to the societal norm of free mixing? The individual in question feels that he is being an inconvenience at gatherings. Family feel compelled to make separate seating arrangements, which due to their habit of free mixing they can't keep to. In addition even on the rare occasions when complete segregation is adhered to the social gathering contains useless talk, which leads to gheebat. If the individual in question addresses this issue in the only way that he knows, then he is regarded as either being a spoil sport, breaking hearts or even mentally unwell. His family regard themselves as deendar but their Deeni talks ironically take place whilst brother in laws and sister in laws are sitting in the same gathering. This brother is now beginning to feel depressed and isolated and the only way out seems to be move away from everybody. Is this a reasonable course of action to take in this particular situation?

Q: Child kidnapping is taking place largely in Pakistan. What amal can I teach my school students, parents, teachers and other staff?

Q: I am the only child of my mother, married with two kids alhamdulillah. But recently things are not going well for me. I'm not in a position to provide for my mother and wife at the same time and this is eating me up. I understand very well both have rights upon me but my earnings are very little! It's like choosing my wife over my mother.