Rights of parents

Husband preventing his wife from serving her terminally ill parents

Q: Is it permissible for a husband to prevent his wife from visiting her terminally ill parents who live near her home and are in need of her khidmat as there is no one else to make their khidmat? If she goes to make khidmat of her ailing parents against her husband’s instruction, will she be sinful? What does Shari’ah command her to do in such a situation?

Unfair treatment from parents

Q: I am un-happy living at home with the rules that have been implied. Even when I do nothing wrong, I still feel as if they blame me. I do everything in the home for chores helping my parents and errands. I have other siblings as well but the do not help. I am getting emotionally depressed and want to start doing drugs and staying out the house because once coming home I cry most the time. I feel as if my parents don't understand me yet. I try to make them time after time. I have started trying to tell them I am moving out and they react as if I am doing something horrible and hit and yell abuse at me. Everyday it's the same thing. I want to be gone but my family won't let me. Do I leave with out their permission? What do I do? Please help. I am only 20 years old. I do have a friend's house who is willing to let me stay with her as long as I can. I can't focus on my studies any more at all as well. Please help.

Abusive parent

Q: What are the obligations of a child to a parent who has emotionally abused their children and refuses to take responsibility or pay any bills relating to the children and household expenses? If this parent keeps late hours and is difficult to live with, can the children move out or make him move out (with the help of other relatives)? And will my lack of affection toward this parent ( my father) be a sin? I am afraid of him testifying against me on judgment day, but to be honest I feel life would be easier without him in my life. Am I evil for feeling this way? Please advise as I am very distressed about this.

Looking after one's mother

Q: I have a question relating to a child's obligation toward parents. I want to ask question relating to family vacation or social activity. If a wife and husband work jointly to pay for a family vacation and the mum wants to go on holiday as well, I have a question:

1) Can a credit card or credit facility be used to fund the mum's holiday?

2) Can the mum travel without a mahram if she is over 60?

What is the obligation of the son in this regard? Can he politely decline the payment of the holiday due to inadequate funds and also disallow the holiday as no mahram is present? Will the son be punished in the eyes of Allah for doing this? Also what happens when the money one's son gives to a mum on debt and that is being used to buy lavish gifts for the other son and his family? What happens in essence if a mum thinks a child has the financial means and expects all expenses and holidays to be paid for when a child in essence is living on finance?

Pleasing one's father

Q: I would appreciate your insight into a family concern we are having at the moment. My father (a widower) is getting old, he is 78 years of age and currently lives on his own in a house 80 miles from my 2 sisters and 200 miles from me (the only son). Allahamdollilah over the years he has been in good health and is fully autonomous. But a recent event (a minor heart attack) have made us all question what is the right thing to do. Right now as the son, I am with him for at least a month to ensure he gets his full energy back. Beyond that though we have to think about the future and what is the right thing to do. My own current situation is that only within the last 2 years has my job situation become better (since moving to London). I am 33 and live in London (still single) whereas my father lives in Manchester 200 miles away. My sisters (who are settled with families) on numerous occasions have asked him to move to Birmingham (80 miles from where he lives) but he does not want to move there. The question is, I understand that as the son I have a duty of care to my father, but does that have to be at the expense of my own future? My line of work is not common in Manchester (where my father lives) and any jobs that do exist there are not very well paid. I do not have my own property in London so it is not possible for him to move down and also rent prices are high and he would not be willing to live in London anyway. He wants to stay where he is, does that mean as children we have to adapt our lives to accommodate his wishes?