Premarital relationships

Q: I love a guy and he even loves me. And our family knows eachother from a long time. We hadn't been involved in any haram actions. We wanted to begin with halal relationship. So he asked at his home about marrying me. But his family members denied as saying we don't like her. He is an orphan, he has a brother, sister, sister in law, brother in law, all of them refused. He tried alot. So we have done istekhara, still it's not overworking and his family said that if you marry her, then do not speak with us and there is lot of emotional blackmail. So he said he loves his family alot and as he doesn't have parents they are my world and he said no.

Meanwhile I got a rishta and that rishta is going smoothly without any hurdles. And my parents all others are happy except me. And the process has almost reached the end. The boy wants me to get married within 10 days. They are in a hurry and my parents too are in a hurry.

I would like to ask if the response of the first boy negative because since this rishta has been sent, everything is going smoothly and almost everything is final now. Can I still pray to Allah to make me the first boys life partner since I love him alot. 

Q: When I was a teenager I liked a boy who was very religious and knowledgeable both generally and islamically, So I told about this boy to my family. And we got engaged. He saw me once. And he liked me a lot since then. We talked very rarely and it’s only about our marriage preparations. But we couldn’t get married that year so he flew abroad for his studies. I haven’t heard any news from him since then. And I waited for the holidays so he will comeback. I believed I was engaged. But then I heard from one of his relative’s sister that he nullified the engagement and I didn’t know what the reason was behind. I got many proposals at the same time from religious students of Islamic knowledge backgrounds. But yet I found very uncomfortable to accept other proposals. Because it hurts me a lot and a lot. Though I haven’t had any premarital relationship with him, but I don’t know I liked him very much and his personalities. I mailed him because I want to know what the reason was behind, and told him it would be very difficult for me to get married with some other, because I liked him very much. But I didn’t hear from him. So I accepted one of his friend’s proposals and got married. but the i heard from one of my friends that he was quite upset for letting me go. (my friend knw this from her husband) I tried so hard to forget about that boy but yet I find so uncomfortable with those feelings. My husband knows my past because he was a close friend of him. But my husband didn’t know what I’m going through with the pain inside my heart. I don’t want to ruin my life for a person who had no interest in me. I prayed Allah a lot to help me to forget him. And I tried my best to give my husband’s rights. But sometimes I get upset for knowing the boy I liked was more knowledgeable and a hafiz unlike my husband. The boy also got married one of my friends, and I feel how lucky she was although I make dua for them whenever shaitan used to whispers me. I fight with these uncomfortable feelings so hard for nearly 4 years of my marrige but sometimes I feel weak. Please advice me to get out from this pain.

Q: Im in a relationship with someone and we want to marry each other as soon as possible but because of the halat we are not able to marry each other. My parents are against our relationship and his parents are fine with the relationship. I dont know what to do? I want him. I dont know how to make this relationship in to husband and wife? What should I do so that my parents can accept him and our relationship? What dua or wazifa should I do to get him? 

Q: The issue I have is with my parents. When I was 14,a friend of mine visited me and she used to talk to guys. As I was a kid, and insensible, I started doing that too. After a month, she left but this became my habit. My parents caught me with this and got very mad. They even rose their hand at me,to make me understand. But as it became a habit, I could not get off it. I then came back to Pakistan, and still had this habit in me. I went onto anonymous chat sites to talk to guys and yet, once again my mother caught me. She rose her hand again and she gave me a bad dua that I will suffer the way she is because of me. I will keep an eye on my kids when I will have them. My husband won't trust me ever. He will keep an eye on me, On my each move. I won't be able to sleep peacefully because I will always be scared of what my kids are doing. She said this to me on the first mistake too. Then, when I was 16 and 17, I got emotionally attached with two guys. One when I was 16 was my cousin. We were serious about each other but our families couldn't bond. My mother said that I wont be able to fit in their family style and secondly the guy, himself used to talk everything about us to another girl, who was interested in him previously and still was. So I stepped back. At the age of 17, I got interested in a guy from my school. He liked me too. And we used to talk. One night, when he was calling, the phone vibrated and my father came back from. His work. As the phone was on charge, my father took it in hand and I was once again in trouble. My mother gave me the same bad duas again. And everything happened as before. And now, am 19. I love a guy who I've met through the girl who I told you about. I am very serious about him and want to marry him. He is 9 years older than me and due to his age, his family is asking him to get married. He has refused many proposals because of me. He stated his love for me when I was 18, so I asked him to wait one year so that I can turn 19. As many Nikah's in my family have been done at the age of 19 of girls. He agreed and waited a year for me. Now when I talk to my mother and I speak the truth of how I met him ((through the girl), she says she does not trust me. I am lying. As I have been into this dirt ever since I was a kid. I am not loyal anymore. I am just a liar, who can never speak truth. But my Allah knows, how honest I am regarding this. And how loyal, and serious I am. Before this, I was caught with a phone (not given by my parents), which I used to talk to him. At that time, my father gave me a choice to either leave him once and forever or to leave the house. He also said that if this kind of thing happens again, he will kill both, I and him. I talked to my mother regarding this man yesterday, and she gave me the same bad duas. I am seeking forgiveness from Allah ever since I gained consciousness. I have made uncountable duas for him and I getting together. And getting into Nikah asap. We have waited, had patience. And during all this time, I was in contact with him beside saying I wont as I couldn't keep myself away from him. Please help me. Tell me what is right and what is wrong. I am very sincere and loyal and honest to have to keep this relationship and turn it into Nikah asap. Please help me, how do I make my parents believe me? And my main concern : will my mother's bad dua become true in the future? Are mother's negative duas qabool'ed by Allah? I am very restless. Please help me. I want to get out of that dirt which I still am in somewhere. I want to make myself pious and righteous. I want to get into Nikah asap with the respect, love of my parents and his parents. My mother also said that when I will be married, my father and mother, both will be very thankful that finally, I left. And they won't want to keep any contact with me. They don't want my younger sister to get in the wrong path as I have. And they don't want my bad resemblances on her. Please help me. I am repenting from Allah since forever, I have begged him, cried in front of him. He knows am pure at heart and that I really want to marry this man rightfully. Please, guide me to the right path.

Q: This may seem like a silly question, but this has seriously been bothering me for a very long time. A few years ago I fell in love with a girl, and then ended up finding out she lives very far away and my chances of marrying her are very slim. But every time I'm finally able to let go of most of my feelings for her, something happens that pulls her back into my heart. I've suffered alot of painful heartbreak in matters regarding her, but sometimes I feel like Allah(Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala) is keeping her in my heart because she is meant for me. I've even had alot of dreams about me and her being happy with each other, laughing, and having a good time with our families around us. This makes me think those dreams are glad tidings from Allah(Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala) that she is meant for me. Even my friend told me once that he had a dream where he saw me and her together. Can you please tell me what I should do to heal myself from all this, so I can finally be at peace? I find it very hard to forget her unless I'm absolutely sure she's not meant to be mine.

Q: Is it bad for you to make dua that you and your crush marry each other, in your prayers?

Q: I have met a Christian friend over Facebook 3 years ago and we are now close friends, even best friends. I have tried to convince him to become a Muslim but no results. I am a girl and Muslim and my friend is a boy and Christian. Isn't this haram?

Q: I am studying architecture 3rd year. I am 22 years old. I like a boy who is 3 years younger than me, he is still studying mechanical engineering and is in 2nd year. We both will be completing after 2 years. I spoke about that boy to my mom and she didnt even consider it as his family belongs to a middle class or does not stand with our family status. She strictly rejected it as he is also 3 years younger than me. He is a well mannered person and his character is good as well. I feel that this is more than enough to consider in spouse rather than wealth and family background. I feel that there is no such restriction in Islam when it comes to the age of marrying and moreover our Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) was 25 years when he got married to Hazrat Khadijah. I said that I will complete my studies and by that time he will be completing his engineering as well and we both looking forward to getting married. My parents are not listening to my wish and are forcing me to marry someone of their choice. Because of all these issues in my home, I am unable to concentrate on my studies. Please help me in resolving this matter. 

Q: I have been stressing myself out on my wife's past. I am about to get married next month and I have been engaged with my fiance for 8 months. I have never asked about her past and I know she had a relationship with a guy for 3 years until I came. I knew this from the beginning. I love her so much she is my first love and love of my life. I have been in love with her for 7 years. She was in my school. Just recently when I asked her that if she has ever done anything related to sex with her boyfriend she said no and swear ALLAH (Ta'ala) but when I talked to her about other girls why do they do or cross prescribed boundary of Islam with their boyfriends without even knowing that if they really going to get together and be married couple in future, she started to act weird and confused. So I finally asked her again that if she has ever done anything with him and this time I asked her to swear her on her deceased mother and she finally confronted that she has kissed him four times or more but nothing happened after or passed that limit. I asked her again if she is telling me the truth and only you have done kissing with him nothing more intimate, she said I swear I was worried that we are going to get married after a month and I hid it because it would harm our marriage. So my question is should I trust her and keep her and take her words? Because she lied to me with the oath of Allah Ta'ala. I know her that she is not lying that she hasn't done anything other than kissing but my male ego is bothering me. I try to forgive her but after some hours I get mad and emotional again. I am really confused that should I trust what she is saying or not. Should I keep her or not. Please help me with this.

Q: Please tell me the method of istakhara for love and arranged marraige and can anyone else do this type of istakhara for me?