In laws not allowing daughter in law to leave the house

Q: I wanted to share something about my parents and wife. My parents are not treating my wife well, we all stay under one roof. They say that you both (me and my wife) are equal to them, but when it comes to something they always consider me alone and not my wife. I always raise my voice against this but this leads to a disturbance at my home.

During Covid, I’ve been working at home since then and sometimes I wanted to take my wife out once in a month and that too creates issue. My parents say only you can go and not your wife.

She always wakes early and completes all her work of home but my parents don't even let her go to her own home. This is cruelty and I don't think Islam taught us this way.

Divorce if a person said that they are not married

Q: During a general conversation (not a fight), my husband and I were talking about a degree recognition form that I was required to complete. This form required a character reference to be completed by another professional on my behalf.

My husband said that he would complete this for me. I then told him that family members could not complete the form, to which he replied something like "you can say you are not married".

When I told him it is wrong for him to say such a thing Islamically, he responded that he said this so that we avoid prolonging the process (as if I ticked the married box they would require a host of further information from him). He did not intend anything like divorce.

My question is does this count as a talaq of any kind?

Mother speaking ill of her daughter to others

Q: I have been living with my pensioner mother since I got married as I am the only child. We currently live in the same complex as my in laws and they are very accommodating of my mother and treat her kindly. I had a previous incident where my nanny left because my mother was talking ill about my husband, myself and my in laws. Bitter complaints and bringing me down. This isn't the first time. She has been complaining and bringing my husband down to many others. To the point where she makes herself seem like a victim and they actually despise me as she paints me out to be so nasty and cruel.

I have spoken to her on many occasions regarding this. She agrees not to do it and then a few months later I find out that she's talking about me, my husband or my in laws. She even complained to my mother in law about me continuously.

I have recently found out, once again that my helper (who also works for my in laws) wants to leave as my mother is talking about me, my husband and in laws behind our backs.

How do I defend my mother in a situation like this? My in laws know as the helper had to tell my mother in law to take her back full time as she works part time for me. I am at my wits end. I am so angry, hurt and frustrated. I cannot respect her. I want to know Islamically what is my duty regarding my mother and what rights do I have? I am so tired of her being manipulative and emotionally toxic. I am considering putting her into a retirement/old age home. It is as if she wants to intentionally ruin or cause drama in my marriage and between my in laws and I.

I need some advice as to how to handle this situation as my in laws are telling me to leave her and just continue as normal. I can't! I am so fedup of her causing unnecessary drama.