Subjecting the Talaaq to the approval of the court

Q: Every time I have an argument with my wife I get frustrated and I ask her “what do you want to do now” because I want to know what is the next step in fixing our situation.  Does this count? If I tell my wife in anger “I will divorce” and in frustration I say “You know in English it counts if I say it” but I never attributed divorce to her, I was frustrated with the whole argument and got carried away.  If I start learning fiqh and I tell my wife “she is saying we are divorced”, will this count because I did not want to issue it, I thought we were and later on I found out we were not.  In the same week I was frustrated and stressed out that I said in anger, until we find out about our situation we have to sleep in different rooms because it is harem for us but I did not say you are harem for me, I wanted to be on safe side, which is why I said it.  Will this count? If I blame her for making me say such implicit statements in the past in anger but I had no intention of divorcing her, does this count? Finally, if I tell my wife, that you are not considered to be a wife because you don’t clearly listen to what I am saying, does this count because, once again, my intention was not to divorce her but to degrade her for not paying attention to what I’m saying.  Nonetheless, if husband says to his wife that “You are not my wife”, is intention required?  Also, if I tell my wife I will not be involved in this marriage anymore because I am getting hopeless in waiting for better times, does this count and at the same time I say that child in your stomach is not mine but my intention was not to deny the fact that I had intercourse with her and a child came about, does this count? Waswasa- If a person is affected with waswasa and has problems remembering his intention, are his statements considered? Nikah- Can I re-perform nikah with my wife with certain conditions, such as witnesses must be required for divorce to take place and simply uttering an explicit and implicit statement without without witnesses is void? Also, can I also state in my nikah that a court ruling must be required to judge the case? 

Mashwarah

Q: A family whom were having feud for many years sat down to resolve certain issues they were having. From the initial stage, there was shouting and yelling and they seems to be at each other’s throat. The meeting was adjourned with advice of one of the six brothers who mentioned there will be no barakat or success since we left out the name of Allah Ta'ala and Durood on Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and due to the extreme anger of the brothers. We mentioned that there is a proper way to conduct these gatherings which are governed by the Shariah and life of our Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam. We informed them that we will attain these rules and regulations from the Ulema-a-Karam. With this said it was agreed that another meeting will met set. Can mufti Saheb give us these rules and regulations so that we all can follow them? How should these gathering be conducted? If someone gets angry and starts fuming their anger at each other, how should we calm them down or what should others do? How would and should an Alim conduct these feud and conflicts?

Time for Tahajjud Salaah

Q: My question relates to the times of Tahajud. When i was in madressah I was taught that we could read from just after 12am till about 15min before fajar salah. Recently I was told many different things regarding the times. What would be the right time to read Tahajud salah and the cut off time?

Not fasting due to an Ulcers and IBS

Q: Ramadaan is here and I have a bit of a concern about my fasts. I can't keep fasts, the pain in my stomach is excruciating. I can't keep them out of Ramadaan as the same thing happens. Infact on a normal day if I skip a meal or don't eat when I'm hungry then I get that pain. I've been to two doctors and they are of the opinion that I have ulcers as well as IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). During the past Ramadaan I had to stop fasting as I was not responding to the ulcer medication and the pain was unbearable, I'm also told there is no cure for IBS. Am I allowed to not fast and pay for them instead?