Advice

Q: How to remove negative thoughts and feelings?

Q: I am working abroad and I am married. Nowadays my mind is all the time disturbed because of my sexual need. My wife is not with me, she is at my home and I don't have too much money to go to her. Please advise me what to do?

Q: I am 26 years old and my parents have been looking to get me married for the past few years as I feel ready. However in today’s society men are very selective with beauty. Unfortunately I’m not very tall and I have Vitiligo which although I cover up (to always remain presentable) I feel it is best to be honest about. But when the opposition are informed of it then they are no longer interested. Please could you assist with how to remain positive in this situation, as in today’s society it feels like I will never be accepted by anyone. I know everything happens for the best but this is causing me a major distress. I don’t have many options to cure or control my illness, I have been to many doctors and tried a lot of treatments. My self esteem has got very low and I am very much doubting if I will ever get married like my friends and sisters (though they have perfectly flawless skin). I am very practicing and have been making dua in tahajjud for the past three years, however I am still in the same boat. The last party were very religious and the boys parents were Alim and Alima. I always thought that if the family were pious then they would be more understanding but again it was a no due to my skin issue as it would be hard for the man to love me. This has left me with little hope and sadness. Please could you kindly advise.

Q: I am dentist but not interested in working. My only purpose of marriage was to serve my husband in Islamic ways, obey him and stay with his family. But his demand and wish was for me to work. He said that it doesn't matter if I go outside and remove my burkha and work. It doesn't matter if I have to discuss professional services and cases with male doctors. It doesn't matter if I have to travel alone on buses and trains or for long journeys. He just wants me to work which pleases him and makes him proud in front of friends and society.

He doesn't consider my will nor understands my view for not working. I told within a few months that when we have a baby inshallah then responsibilities will increase and I want to be at home and raise the child and serve him and take care of the home. Though, he is financially fit and earns a good salary, he and his mother always taunts me for not wanting to work.

After so much mental stress I had a miscarriage and fell very ill and decided not to work to avoid such nusiance. I was so weak and was planning for pregnancy and I told him when my bus stop comes, please come early and pick me up and while departing, he should hold my hands because I was afraid of losing a baby agian, but he never came early neither stood at the stop. Sometimes I felt like I should catch hold of the conductors hand who is non a Muslim and na mahram to avoid falling and discomfort but again held myself back because it woulld be a sin if I do so? In such situations what should I to do?

Q: I am a Muslim girl and I am really suffering from heartache. I had a female best friend. She was more than a sister to me and I love her so much. I really wanted her to be in my life forever but today she said to me that she will not contact me from now on. She really wants to end my part in her life. I am so used to her that I am feeling like I have lost everything by losing her. She just said that she will text me once in a while but will not share the bond we used to share. I am so disturb. I really want her back in my life. Please advise me.

Q: My father resigned from his job in 2018 and from then he has not been working. It is very hard financially as my mother is a housewife. I do work and contribute to the household occasionally. My father sits at home and doesn't want to work. I am quite upset with this as he is supposed to be the breadwinner. How do I speak to him about this because it's taking a toll on me.

Q: I got married in December 2018 and I have a baby son now. My wife doesn't want more kids but I want more kids. Please tell me in light of Quran and Hadith what should I do? What are my rights?

Q: What is the status of a woman (wife) if she (after getting annoyed because of a minor domestic issue) on herself starts separating her bed from her husband and starts sleeping in another room without the consent of her husband? Does Shariah allow her to do so?

If not, then what are the consequences? Somebody told me that they have to renew the nikaah as the wife is claiming that she is not interested in having any physical relation with her husband. 

Q: The woman I love is non-Muslim. I don't use the word love lightly. I understand my love for Allah Ta'ala is greater. But I have not found it in me to marry anyone else.

I have been presented with many opportunities to marry a Muslim woman however my heart hasn't allowed me to do it and I don't think it's fair to marry someone without giving her my all.

I have spent the last 4+ years wrestling with my emotions and turning to Allah Ta'ala for guidance and I am at the end of my rope.

I know I can't ask the woman to convert to Islam just to marry me as that would not fulfill the requirements. I can't find it in me to marry anyone else and in doing so I feel I will not be commited to the relationship (I don't mean I will be unfaithful in any way). What should I do?

Q: My husband gets mad at me for being upset and wanting to end the marriage due to his porn addiction. He is from Pakistan and I am from Canada. He says that once he comes to Canada, he will go to strip clubs to "see" what they do because he is curious. There is no need. He even watches porn for no reason. He doesn't even have a "need" and I never refuse him for this purpose that he might go there. He tells me that there are more better women than me and they will be in jannah and I will be in hell. I told my mother and since then he is saying I am backbiting. I have mental health depression and seizures which come from stress. He always bullies me and puts me down. He tells me to stop this guy and that guy. I tell him that I will only stop you because you are my husband, and he says I am a terrible person.

Please advise me. Am I wrong for wanting my husband to stop childish acts (this is one of many) and stop this sin - especially when he has no NEED for it? I can understand when I am on my periods or when I am far away. But I have been visiting for 1 year and he does it still for fun, his excuse being... Allah created man like this - so its ok and its my nature. Please help me understand what I am doing wrong. I know it's haraam but I feel very suicidal.