Advice

Heartache after a close friendship breaks

4 years ago By user2

Q: I am a Muslim girl and I am really suffering from heartache. I had a female best friend. She was more than a sister to me and I love her so much. I really wanted her to be in my life forever but today she said to me that she will not contact me from now on. She really wants to end my part in her life. I am so used to her that I am feeling like I have lost everything by losing her. She just said that she will text me once in a while but will not share the bond we used to share. I am so disturb. I really want her back in my life. Please advise me.

Father not working and taking care of the home

4 years ago By user2

Q: My father resigned from his job in 2018 and from then he has not been working. It is very hard financially as my mother is a housewife. I do work and contribute to the household occasionally. My father sits at home and doesn't want to work. I am quite upset with this as he is supposed to be the breadwinner. How do I speak to him about this because it's taking a toll on me.

Wife sleeping in another room without the consent of her husband

4 years ago By user2

Q: What is the status of a woman (wife) if she (after getting annoyed because of a minor domestic issue) on herself starts separating her bed from her husband and starts sleeping in another room without the consent of her husband? Does Shariah allow her to do so?

If not, then what are the consequences? Somebody told me that they have to renew the nikaah as the wife is claiming that she is not interested in having any physical relation with her husband. 

Marrying a non-Muslim

4 years ago By user2

Q: The woman I love is non-Muslim. I don't use the word love lightly. I understand my love for Allah Ta'ala is greater. But I have not found it in me to marry anyone else.

I have been presented with many opportunities to marry a Muslim woman however my heart hasn't allowed me to do it and I don't think it's fair to marry someone without giving her my all.

I have spent the last 4+ years wrestling with my emotions and turning to Allah Ta'ala for guidance and I am at the end of my rope.

I know I can't ask the woman to convert to Islam just to marry me as that would not fulfill the requirements. I can't find it in me to marry anyone else and in doing so I feel I will not be commited to the relationship (I don't mean I will be unfaithful in any way). What should I do?

Husband watching porn

4 years ago By user2

Q: My husband gets mad at me for being upset and wanting to end the marriage due to his porn addiction. He is from Pakistan and I am from Canada. He says that once he comes to Canada, he will go to strip clubs to "see" what they do because he is curious. There is no need. He even watches porn for no reason. He doesn't even have a "need" and I never refuse him for this purpose that he might go there. He tells me that there are more better women than me and they will be in jannah and I will be in hell. I told my mother and since then he is saying I am backbiting. I have mental health depression and seizures which come from stress. He always bullies me and puts me down. He tells me to stop this guy and that guy. I tell him that I will only stop you because you are my husband, and he says I am a terrible person.

Please advise me. Am I wrong for wanting my husband to stop childish acts (this is one of many) and stop this sin - especially when he has no NEED for it? I can understand when I am on my periods or when I am far away. But I have been visiting for 1 year and he does it still for fun, his excuse being... Allah created man like this - so its ok and its my nature. Please help me understand what I am doing wrong. I know it's haraam but I feel very suicidal.

Disobeying Allah due to not having things the way one wanted

4 years ago By user2

Q: I'm in a difficult situation that I can't solve. I have made dua for 2 years. Since I am now hard-hearted and hateful toward the deen, I have decided to stop practicing on June 27th (in 18 days). I am messaging you because I don't want to do this but the burden is too great, and by Allah not helping me the way and time I want, I want to spend my life disobeying Him so I can enter the Hellfire and receive my punishment.

Husband making wife pay for household expenses

4 years ago By user2

Q: I want to know if a woman should be doing all the payments for a man while he sends all his money to his family. I know women must assist but not pay for everything while the husband is saving his money for his family. My husband is religious; he reads namaaz 5 x a day. I love him very much. Because I don't have children he takes me for granted to be a slave and support him. Please tell me how how should I approach him without us having a problem. He always tells me that Allah subhanallah is happy with him and no matter how much wrong he do does, his 5 x a day namaaz will get his sins washed away. I don't want to break my marriage.

Exposing one's sins before people

4 years ago By admin

Q: This question is regarding my friend, who is very upset and down since she learnt what she had done was not just a sin but a crime. I know we shouldnt expose each others sins but I wanted to give her some reassurance that she should ask for forgiveness and move on. I know it's more difficult in reality. My friend was molested by alot of men growing up. She went onto allowing her sister to touch her on her chest and she did the same to her sister on a few occasions when she was about 15 or 16. Her sister was 10. She came to acknowledge that it would be considered sexual assault for people of a age gap bigger than 4 or 5 years to do such things. She didn't know it was considered masturbation either. She is so upset and even fell into heavy depression a few years ago. Her health has been affected and always wanted to go and confess to the police of her actions. She said she looked it up on the internet and came across hadiths where people committed sins and were told to cover their sins. She is worried about her sisters future and if this affects her one day in the future. she apologised to her sister and begged for all wrong she has done, without making the reason obvious. Of course this incident happened many years ago and her sister is 21 now. But recently she came across an article that said, sexual assault can make women detach the importance and sacredness of sex and have sex with multiple people. Or, completely isolate themselves from men. Having been assaulted for years herself, she is very disappointed that she could have done such a thing to her sister. Her sister accepted her apology, but she looked unaware for what reason exactly. She makes a lot of dua for her sister and that her future turns out fine, but is worried she may turn away from intimacy from her partner in the future. But her sister seems eager to get married and having a family. She is worried the trauma will play out when she gets close to her partner because most victims don't realise until their in a similar setting. Shes become aware of these things since she started to do therapy for herlsef. She even told her mother a few years ago about the incident and her mother said she may have taken it lightly and as a joke at the time. But kept on reassuring her it will be okay. Please advise with as much knowledge you have. I am worried about my friend. She told me that victims can sometimes repeat what was done to them. But she is constantly crying.

Remedy for depression and anxiety

4 years ago By user2

Q: I have been living with depression, stress and especially with social anxiety for a long time. I am starting to lose hope and don't know what to do. It has affected my life in such a negative way. My classmates graduated 3 years ago and I am struggling with this mental illness. My grades are affected. I start to shake whenever I am sitting with a group of people. I get anxious when I get an email from school. I can't taste the sweetness of Dunya. Always living in a dark place. I got a treatment from a psychiatrist for months and finished it but it still existed. I have been making dua's and try to pray on time at work or university. But nothing helps.

P.S. It started since I moved to Europe from Africa. I cant go back to my country because of a war. And Islam is not well practiced in the country I am living right now. No righteous friends except people who pull you to haraam things. I am surviving alone. It would be much appreciated if you give some advice or remedy?

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