Contemplating suicide

Q: I've suffered from depression, and I've realized I am still depressed. I am 19 and I live in Spain. All my friends and the other teens I know spend the summer in the swimming pool, in the beach and traveling (my brother who is 18 too), but I can't. Because I am a Muslim, I can't wear bikini so I can't spend time with them in the sea, and what's more I can't swim (which is my favourite hobby). Since I've had the period, I've spent every summer alone in my bedroom dreaming about going to swim with my friends. I love Islam but I want to wear a bikini, swim with my friends and spend the night with them as well. I am unhappy now. I've thought about doing it, but I can't because my parents are going to realize it since my skin will get darker if I do it. And I can't ask them If I can do this, because for a Muslim, that will be one of the worst things ever for a father to let his daughter wear inmodest clothes. I am a good person, I study at college and I've never hurt anyone. The last year I tried to commit suicide, but I decided to wait and I've realized the wait wasn't worth it. I know this is the last summer I am going to be here because I've decided to commit suicide to stop the pain I am feeling every day. Every teen is enjoying the summer, while I am spending it crying and I am tired of it. I just wanted to ask you what you think, can a Muslim girl wear a bikini in this situation (if she doesn't wear it she could commit suicide)? Thanks and sorry for explaining my life.

Fasting only on the 10th of Muharram

Q: Some people say that it is not makrooh to fast only on Ashura, the tenth of Muharram, because it is no longer the practice of the jews in today's times. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) mentioned in the Hadith that we should not only fast on the tenth as we will be resembling the jews. Since the jews no longer fast on the tenth of Muharram, it will no longer be makrooh for Muslims to only fast on the tenth. Furthermore, they cite the following quotation of Badaai'-us-Sanaai' in support of this claim. Is this view correct? If not, then what is the correct explanation of the following quotation?

وكره بعضهم صوم يوم عاشوراء وحده لمكان التشبه باليهود، ولم يكرهه عامتهم

Ma'zoor making new wudhu for tawaaf

Q: I am leaving for hajj in a few days time insha Allah. I have a problem of continous discharge. I am maazoor.

1. If for example I am travelling and I stop to read zohr namaaz. After reading my zohr namaaz can I make a new wudhu immediatley with the intention of asr or do I have to wait for the next salaah time to set in and then make a fresh wudhu?

2. Can I just make a fresh wudhu before every namaaz without changing my panty liner?

3. After performing salaah in the haram do I have to make a fresh wudhu before I start tawaaf?

And what happens if for example I am performing tawaaf and the time for the asr sets in, do I have to make a new wudhu for asr salaah and after performing asr salaah do I have to make a new wudhu again to complete my tawaaf?

How many times should one wash impurity off one's hands?

Q: I want to ask that if one's hands are very dirty e.g. if urine drops can be seen on one's hands then how many times should the hands be washed. Beyond that limit of washing, will it be a sin. I'm asking this because I'm getting mad day by day as I wash my hands for 20 to 25 times with soap, so it very irritatating to wash so many times as I'm not getting satisfied that my hands are now clean.