Women becoming depressed when hearing about the beauty of the hoors

Q: I want advices. Whenever I hear or read about hoors I became depressed. I read hadiths about their beauty, perfume, singing, skin colour etc. I'm dark and I had hurtful comments about this (it seemed that I had a trauma when I read about hoors the first time) and I suffer of hirsutism.

I grew up with the idea that a soul was united with her/his half. Not a soul united with several people. I believed in a monogamous marriage where a person desires ONLY one not others. Like a princess gets his prince, not that the princess had to share with others. I know that men desire women. I know that but I can't go through this. I don't know what to do, even hearing the words relating to hoors I became upset. It's difficult to read Qur'an and hadiths, somehow I became demotivated to continue when I read hoors and it's becoming difficult to continue. Whenever I come across the verses about them, it seems that I'm self-lesioning...

Every time, a youtube video about them comes in the homepage I say to myself that I shouldn't be upset and then end up watching it and being hurt again. Everytime.... Men seem to be joyous and joke about it, like they don't mind that this thing hurts others... I'm so broken down and depressed. It happens everytime, and everytime I feel I'm distancing from Allah. I'm scared...

But I am so tired... when reading about them. Everybody seems to joke. But I take it seriously. So please don't be harsh, because it's already difficult. Be compassionate in my regards please.

Blood clots in an egg

Q: I would like to know if, eggs that contain tiny blood clots in them when cracked open haraam for consumption?

Recently I have been having a huge problem with both big, small and tiny blood spots in both the egg yolks and white and most of time it is extremely difficult to see and remove all the blood spots especially if they are a lots small and tiny spots in the egg yolks and sometimes the egg whites. If for example I have to bake a cake it can take at times an hour or more to just clean the eggs. In addition, at times it is impossible and very difficult to remove all the clots.

As a result I have stopped eating eggs and anything that contains eggs because I do not want to consume anything that is not halaal and Tayyab. But I also do not want make what is permissable for consumption haraam.

Do we have remove every tiny blood clot in both the yolks and whites or just the big spots.

Please advice accordingly.

Giving up sins

Q: I need some help. I'm 23 years of age and from a conservative Muslim minority. My problem started when I was younger and I was introduced to porn movies and masturbation. I need your advice.

Reciting from different surahs in salaah

Q: In one musjid, the Imam Saheb read in the first rakaat of Fajr Salaah from the middle of Surah Tahreem,

يا أيها الذين آمنوا قوا أنفسكم و اهليكم

till the end of the Surah. Then in the second rakaat he read a different surah. Is there any reason for doing so? Would it not be better to start at the beginning of the Surah, read 2 pages, then in the second rakaat finish off the Surah?