Kissing the Hajr-e-Aswad

Q: I have a few questions regarding Tawaaf:

1. When making استلام بالاشارة must one raise the hands upto the ears (as in Salaah) or in line with the shoulders? Also, does one stretch out the arms (as if touching the Hajar e Aswad) or must one keep the hands in line with the body?

2. Thereafter, when kissing the hands must one kiss the fingers or the palms?

3. When making استلام بالاشارة in which direction must the body face? In this regard is there a difference between the first Istilaam & the subsequent ones?

3. When making استلام بالاشارة during the course of Tawaaf does one stop at the Hajar e Aswad, make Istilaam & thereafter continue walking, or must one make Istilaam while walking?

Marrying a girl to give her a better life to please Allah

Q: I am in love with one of my colleagues and I want to marry her but what makes me reluctant is that she had a boyfriend and had sex with him in this hope that he will later marry her which unfortunately didn't happen. Now she is hopeless about her future and I think I can help her but I am reluctant as I said. I want to ask if I marry her with intention of making her life better, will this act please Allah and will He reward me greatly?

Fear of being a coward

Q: I am so ashamed of writing this question but I am posing it cause I really need help. Here is the story:

I always thought I am strong enough to fight back and can fight for my right. But recently a huge man trying to hit me and looking for a chance to beat me and I am short and skinny guy. whenever i see him my heart beat increases and I cant feel my legs. After this incident I started hating myself and I have lost my confidence, the guilt of being a coward is killing me. I cant see my face in the mirror because of shame. I always have the feeling that I am a coward and feeling so guilty that Allah (SWT) loves brave muslims and I am not brave. My question is will Allah(SWT) love and forgive a coward muslim and is there any cure for that. 

Fear of zihaar

Q: I am very tensed about a situation. I was having an argument with my wife and in anger I wanted to call her "Mother F______", but my tongue got stuck and instead I uttered the word "Mother" from my mouth. Have I committed "Zihar" though my intentions were not to call my wife "Mother". Should I now need to atone by freeing a slave, or observe fast, or serve food to needy people? My intentions were not to call my wife this.

Giving dawah to non-mahrams

Q: I am a teen at the age of 17 and I am wondering if it is permissible for me to give Dawah to a non-mahram female. So I can keep in contact and choose her for marriage when Im ready. As of now I have made no absolute contact with her or exchange of words. 

Washing impure clothes without squeezing

Q: A female servant washes clothes in my home. My wife puts both pure and impure clothes in a bucket and adds water and washing powder. Servant washes those clothes on washroom floor with a detergent. She throws the impure water from the bucket and fills that with new water. She does not clean the bucket before filling with new water. She rinses the washed clothes in that water. Again throws water and fills with new water without cleaning the bucket and again rinses clothes for second time. Also she does not squeese the clothes after rinsing. Are these clothes be considerd pure? 

As I have doubts about this method of washing , I wash my clothes seperately. But my wife's wet clothes washed in the above method come in contact with my wet clothes when we place them to dry. If my wife's clothes are considered impure, do my clothes also become impure as my wet clothes come in contact with them.

Mother involved in a haraam relationship

Q: One of my friends has a very serious issue at home. His mother is having a relationship with a man for the last 10 years. She is still married to my friends father. The whole family knows about the mothers relationship with this man, even her husband knows. My friend tried talking to his family but no one wants to resolve this matter. He is very worried and his mother is still having a relationship with this man. He took all possible steps to resolve the issue but nothing happened. Kindly explain what he should do now? Can he break all relations with his mother and leave all of them?