Advice

Q: I often eat so much food that I feel sick and like I'm about to pop I can't control it I can't stop eating . It's a mental ilness. What to do?

Q: It is not even one year of my marriage.  I am currently pregnant and expecting my first child. My husband and I constantly fight for trivial reasons. He feels that I am not a good wife because I am teaching only for few weeks as it is part of my studies. I am only doing it so if something happens I can do something with my life and do not need to rely on anyone. He tells me that I must not come home for the current week and stay at my parent's and he will fetch me the week after. But due to my ill temper I told him don't bother. I am so fed up of this marriage. I feel like I am a caged bird. I may be islamically inclined but I am not a saint. He expects me to be a saint. I can no longer take it. I have felt hurt and sad through out my pregnancy. I can no longer take this. I have tried to over look many remarks and fights. But there is a limit and I've reached it. Could you please help me?

Q: 

1. I am a mother and I sometimes feel I have done injustice, zulm etc when I try to resolve my young sons fighting issues(5,7 yrs old) shd I apologise to the kids or only do Tauba?
2. Secondly I headed that it is wrong to have prolonged ambitions (Aarzoon ka lamba Hona) does this mean we cannot plan ahead our kids futures or carreer planning or saving for our kids marriages etc. please explain?

Q: I want ask something. I am in love with a girl and we had a very close relationship. Now she break this relation and I am very upset. Please help me. I really love her and her memories are teasing me. How can I get her?

Q: Firstly I would like to thank you for providing the ummah with a great service Alhamdulilah. My question is marriage related. I am a male married with 2 children. I have committed zina of the eyes, as to which my wife has asked me to leave the house because of time and space that she needs to get her self together and for me to seek guidance. I left the house and stayed at my brothers house for a few days who is also married it was not right for me to lodge there but my brother said it is better for you to stay here than to rent a place of your own and have no one watch over you, this way I can help you. I have been staying at my brothers for 2 months and with in 3-4 weeks my wife rang me and said that she is pregnant and felt I should know before anyone else which I respect her for. Our relation has had times of turbulence and a lack of miss communication and at times where I have been dominant and abusive, and had anger issues. Alhamdulilah I pray 5 times and have since controlled myself in behaving in such a way which as I used to upon courses and from my wife. We have been going on marriage reconciliation courses and Alhamdulilah was doing well till this incident. 

My wife will not speak to me as she is disgusted with my act and that I have deceived her and lost her trust. So I speak to her father who says that she needs time to think things through and all the things we have gone through our relation have built up and has resulted in her eruption, wanting me to leave the house. Is this judgement correct for her to have a grudge now after 10 years of marriage to bring up everything from past? 

I have spoken to my wife upon leaving over the phone and says that I need to better myself and seek forgiveness of my sin and that she has done istikhara and leaves it upon Allah to sort things out. Recently I have found out that in surah Talaq you are not allowed to throw
you spouse out of the house unless a major sin is committed. My wife said that I have not thrown you out on basis of khulla or seek divorce but for you to better yourself and then return when she thinks time is right or when Allah wills. She is pregnant and I don't want to treat her in anyway out of surprise and turn up at the house and say your not allowed to throw me out. I would like a better approach as to what I should do and if what I am doing is correct?

I have mentioned that Allah created human to commit sin but the believer is he who accept his mistake and who repents and makes tauba.  I have said I have repented for my mistake and that all I have to offer is to better myself. I have asked her father and also her to speak to someone one from my side of the family who I trust will speak of the truth and her family as according to Sha'ria , she agreed upon this but later apologised and disagreed just said shes not in the state to go over this. I respected her wishes and left it at that considering her pregnancy, but now I am coming to think that during pregnancy women can go through depression and make hasteful decisions or think irrationally but even if I wait till after the baby is born what if she goes in post natal depression. 

Alhamdulilah I have 2 beautiful children who are suffering but their say I don't want the kids having your bad influence.

I would greatly appreciate it if you could help. I am sorry I have written a big essay but I didn't think it right if I only told you part of the story and for you to pass a judgement upon that because the scales wouldn't be fair. I don't want to make it sound like I am minimising my sin, but I continue praying that Allah guides me and helps me to work harder to abstain in turning to anything which earns me his displeasure. 

Q: I would like my husband to pay more attention to his kids than his nieces. He treats them better than his own kids and I feel as if we cannot do anything as a family as they are with us every where. Sometimes I would like to do things as a family but this hardly ever happens.
Their parents hardly bother with our kids so it upsets me when my husband treats their daughters as our own, but he does not see this and wants them including in every aspect of our life. Many times he has left our kids at home and taken their daughters instead which really annoys me. Please is there any dua I can read which will make him pay attention to his kids and distance himself from nieces. I do not mean this in a horrible way but I would like us to do things as a family for once.

Q: Many Ahaadeeth signify the reward of pain, like even a prick of a thorn, and if you know what I know, you would cry a lot and laugh a little. In that context is it more better to be depressed than happy?

Q: I am in very big emotional distress. I have known a man for a while. He decided to leave me as we was not official to get married in Pakistan. When he returned he realised he didn't feel compatible to this woman. He grew apart from her as he was in love with me. I knew this but I knew this cud not be. I went for umrah to ask forgiveness. I came back and started a fresh. Then one day I bumped into him again and he declared his love etc. One thing lead to another and I slipped up and decided to give him a chance. I thought Allah is joining us. I don't know what to do because now he is saying he will divorce the wife to re marry. I feel so confused and don't want to start my life in a curse. We said we would go for umrah if things are meant to be. He also has bad addictions due to all this stress. I am scared could I trust this man? He is not willing to let me go and wants to make things halaal.

Q: My wife wears an abaya and a scarf but does not do niqab. She teaches in an Islamic school where all teachers are required to wear niqab so she does there. But outside I encourage her repeatedly but she says I'm not ready and when I insist more she gets upset and starts crying. Can you please advise me what to do in this situation? I don't want to be in sin because she is my wife and I also want the best for her in the akhira.

Q: Is it permissable to leave the home of your mother unmarried? I have a 2 year old daughter and I am a single mother. I live with my mother, brothers (1 of which is disabled) and a daughter. My mother has been emotionally abusive towards myself and siblings most of our lives. She has the behaviour of a narcotic and lives her life believing that bad things are sent to her from people doing dirty work. She even blames myself, siblings and even her own family of sending things to her. We've tried speaking to her but she takes offence of anyone offering her advice. I would like to know is it wrong to leave her home as a Muslim unmarried woman in order to protect my daughter from having to endure the same abuse and bad duahs put upon her? And also to protect myself and ensure a happier life for my mother as well as myself? May Allah protect us from the bad duahs, and guide us to make the right choices and May Allah guide and protect my mother too, and grant her ease, comfort contentment and happiness.