Advice

Q: I am in grade 10 and I am not paying any attention in school or in any of my studies I am very defensive and have a don't care attitude towards life. What should I do?

Q: I am very weak in my nafs and cannot control my self in improving my life to strive to fulfil my endeavours. I want to get education and become financially sound, but my nafs doesn't allow make me. I am lazy. Please advise me what to do?

Q: Is it true that we should stick to one ulama group regarding fatwa or can we check others as well. Sometimes even in the same Mazhab ulama have different views on the same topic e.g women cutting her hair etc.

Q: I am married to a girl. In my short age and its five years of marriage now she is not taking care of me and my family. We have done love marriage and no one is happy. She is also involved with another guy also. I forgave her a lot of times but she didn't become true again. Now I have left her at her home and want a divorce from her and even I have contact with another girl who loves me a lot and even we have close relation like we have done kisses and hugs not more than that. I also want to marry her. Could you please tell me is my nikaah already raised with her and what will I do to solve this problem because my first wife don't want to leave me and this one also don't want to leave me as we are in a close relation?

Q: I would like some advise. Say for example if a girl is in a relationship, being Muslim, gets involved sexually then the boy doesn't marry her as his family want him to marry his cousin. Then the girl gets married and the husband finds out about her past. Puts her through hell. The girl is repenting to Allah. Her husband isn't practising but preaches about what Islam says about this kind of sin. Shouts at her, swears at her, swears at her parents and brothers and sisters. Talks about surat un nissa and says things like you and your family are all sinners. Taunts her when she tries to pray and says things like hijab doesn't suit you because you are a sinner. Blames her for his depression and say that she and her parents lied to him. He says that she should have disclosed all this before she got married to him and this wouldn't have happened. He is clinically depressed but the doctor is obviously going to believe what he tells them. Has insomnia and blames his wife for it all. When he got married he said that his parents don't want to be involved in his marriage but have said that he can go ahead and get married. So basically they met online. On a marriage website. The girl had permission from her parents to look for a husband online, told them about him an they were happy till they found out that his parents didn't want to get involved. Upon the insistence of the girl her parents reluctantly agreed. He brought all his friends and colleagues to his wedding and to this day his parents don't know that he is married. He now has two children. He calls his wife a liar, doesn't bath after sex for days on end. Has to be pushed by wife to have a bath. He became physically violent everytime she argued about her past with her and started to slap, punch kick, jump, pull her hair, give her black eyes. Never wants to pray and says that your behaviour with people should be good etc i.e. huqooq ul ibad or something. It is getting better now but still he talks to himself loudly so she can hear him when he say things like tauba from these people in uk etc. When he shouts at her he makes her sin seem ten times worst than it was i.e I bet you wore this for him and and I bet you did that with him and blames things that didn't happen. Blames her for sleeping with non muslims, sikhs and blacks, etc. Please advise am at my wits end and don't know if I should wait for things to get better or what. I pray to Allah as much as I can.

Q: What duas can I read and what can I do so my exams become easy? What dua can be read to strengthen my memory?

Q: My husband is working in Jeddah in a telecommunication company for the last 4 years. His job is good but the problem is that he has technical experience and he was recruited for a technical role. After he got recruited he is doing a non technical job for the last 4 years without any promotion and salary increase. He is worried about his future because his technical growth has stopped and he is not getting a technical job offer for the last 4 years. Could you please tell us something to read so that he can get the technical job he wants with career growth. Alhamdulillah both of us try to pray regularly. Please answer my question, I can not see my husband upset.

Q: My husband is talking to another woman. I have seen his messages on his phone and it makes me very uncomfortable. He goes to see her and talks to her everyday. Once I confronted him and he accuses me of asking for a divorce. At times I struggle with this but then I remind myself Allah has a plan for and sabr is the key. This is not the first time he has done this but I forgave him every time but on this occasion I cannot get it out of my head. I say to myself Allah is all seeing all knowing and Allah will show him and better him. But this does not satisfy my feelings. Please help.

Q: I have a few concerns. Recently I went for hajj and decided to change my life. I started praying and observing most of the fundamentals of deen. I recently got involved with a girl with the intention of marriage. We decided to communicate for some time and had met each other. I am however very strict on Deen and did not want to touch her. Through my weakness and the effort of shaitaan, I had committed zina with her. I had slept with her a few times. I am really sad about what I have done. I have repented and did not do this again. I am however still in communication with her because I want to marry her. I understand that I had committed a major sin and defeated the purpose
of marriage. I have also realised that pre-marital relationships before marriage is not allowed and this will take the blessings out of the marriage. I accept my wrong and I know that Allah is the most merciful and will forgive me. I had made taubah that I will not do that sin again. However, I am still  in communication with her preparing to get married. Please understand well what I have said. My questions:

1. Understanding very well that I had defeated the purpose of marriage, what do I do now? I know the correct thing is to get married so I do not fall into this sin again. Because the blessings has been take away now, do I still marry this same women?
2. I accept that I really messed up. I asked Allah to guide me. Since I defeated the purpose of marriage, how do I repair the situation. 
3. Also, if I do marry her does this mean that no blessings will be in my marriage now?
4. What is the solution? Also understand that I cannot just leave the girl and marry another women. I should marry this girl. I have made istikhaarah many times. I just need to know the way forward. Should I marry her or not? Because I already defeated the purpose of marriage. What if I do marry her, then does this mean my marriage will suffer and have no blessings?