Advice

Husband making wife pay for household expenses

5 years ago By user2

Q: I want to know if a woman should be doing all the payments for a man while he sends all his money to his family. I know women must assist but not pay for everything while the husband is saving his money for his family. My husband is religious; he reads namaaz 5 x a day. I love him very much. Because I don't have children he takes me for granted to be a slave and support him. Please tell me how how should I approach him without us having a problem. He always tells me that Allah subhanallah is happy with him and no matter how much wrong he do does, his 5 x a day namaaz will get his sins washed away. I don't want to break my marriage.

Exposing one's sins before people

5 years ago By admin

Q: This question is regarding my friend, who is very upset and down since she learnt what she had done was not just a sin but a crime. I know we shouldnt expose each others sins but I wanted to give her some reassurance that she should ask for forgiveness and move on. I know it's more difficult in reality. My friend was molested by alot of men growing up. She went onto allowing her sister to touch her on her chest and she did the same to her sister on a few occasions when she was about 15 or 16. Her sister was 10. She came to acknowledge that it would be considered sexual assault for people of a age gap bigger than 4 or 5 years to do such things. She didn't know it was considered masturbation either. She is so upset and even fell into heavy depression a few years ago. Her health has been affected and always wanted to go and confess to the police of her actions. She said she looked it up on the internet and came across hadiths where people committed sins and were told to cover their sins. She is worried about her sisters future and if this affects her one day in the future. she apologised to her sister and begged for all wrong she has done, without making the reason obvious. Of course this incident happened many years ago and her sister is 21 now. But recently she came across an article that said, sexual assault can make women detach the importance and sacredness of sex and have sex with multiple people. Or, completely isolate themselves from men. Having been assaulted for years herself, she is very disappointed that she could have done such a thing to her sister. Her sister accepted her apology, but she looked unaware for what reason exactly. She makes a lot of dua for her sister and that her future turns out fine, but is worried she may turn away from intimacy from her partner in the future. But her sister seems eager to get married and having a family. She is worried the trauma will play out when she gets close to her partner because most victims don't realise until their in a similar setting. Shes become aware of these things since she started to do therapy for herlsef. She even told her mother a few years ago about the incident and her mother said she may have taken it lightly and as a joke at the time. But kept on reassuring her it will be okay. Please advise with as much knowledge you have. I am worried about my friend. She told me that victims can sometimes repeat what was done to them. But she is constantly crying.

Remedy for depression and anxiety

5 years ago By user2

Q: I have been living with depression, stress and especially with social anxiety for a long time. I am starting to lose hope and don't know what to do. It has affected my life in such a negative way. My classmates graduated 3 years ago and I am struggling with this mental illness. My grades are affected. I start to shake whenever I am sitting with a group of people. I get anxious when I get an email from school. I can't taste the sweetness of Dunya. Always living in a dark place. I got a treatment from a psychiatrist for months and finished it but it still existed. I have been making dua's and try to pray on time at work or university. But nothing helps.

P.S. It started since I moved to Europe from Africa. I cant go back to my country because of a war. And Islam is not well practiced in the country I am living right now. No righteous friends except people who pull you to haraam things. I am surviving alone. It would be much appreciated if you give some advice or remedy?

Undergoing trials

5 years ago By user2

Q: My baby has been having seizures since birth. He has brain damage and other complications. Doctors are perplexed by his problems. His brain mri shows damage but not that much. Still his seizures are persisting despite taking 4 medications twice a day. Medical science is not able to say with certitude what is making him having these seizures (infantile spasms). My baby is 16 months, doesn’t move, doesn’t talk, doesn’t swallow properly, no neck control. I am so so down. I cry with Allah everyday for my child.

Mother wants son to divorce his wife

5 years ago By user2

Q: I am from Pakistan. I got married in 2017, it was arranged marriage. My parents and my wife's mother and brother did all the meetings and we also met eachother to know about eachother. After marriage my wife got pregnant in the first month and then my family and I got to know that my wife has high blood pressure (clinicaly diagnosed IgA nephropathy in 2015) and she takes daily medicine.

The first 3 months was very hard for her that she could not take medicine because that will affect the child and instead, the doctor advised to take different medicines. After 3 months she traveled to Dubai where her parents are living but on the 6th month our child died inside her due to high blood pressure.

After that I got problems in my family:

1. My parents and sisters ask me and my wife why wife's family didn't told them about this disease?

2. My parents told them that I have asthma before marriage and they do fraud with us by not telling about my wife's disease.

3. My sister told me that my wife's disease will pass through our children and they will never get normal life.

I asked my wife and she told me that this disease is very passive or mild and it never bothered her before so that's why she and her family didn't think about telling me or my family. My parents didn't talked to my wife's parents about this.

We consulted many doctors and they told us that we can have children in future but it will be complicated due to changes in medicine, etc.

My mother is now insisting that I do second marriage and divorce my wife. My mother believes that now we cannot have any children and life cannot be lived without children. My mother told me that she got me married so that she can see my children.

Me and my wife recently moved to Norway because I got a job here. I am happy with my wife and we are living happily. I dont want to marry anyone or divorce her. Now my family belives that my wife and her family helped me to get away from my parents.

I am really confused. What should I do and how to do what is right. I want to make everything normal back again. Please guide me in the light of Islam.

Choosing a spouse who is not committed to Deen

5 years ago By admin

Q: There is a girl whom I like very much and when my family met her family, my parents didn't like her family much because they don't follow parda. My parents said they don't like the girl but if I am persistent with the girl they don't have any problem. The girl is pious and committed to deen except that she doesn't wear burqa and wears all modern dresses like t-shirts and jeans. I tried explaining to her about the importance of hijab but she used to get irritated listening to it. I feel I will be able to convince her for hijab and parda in a long-term i.e. if we get married. So my questions are first, should I marry her or not? Second, if I marry her am I disobeying my parents?

Asking the husband for divorce

5 years ago By user2

Q: I am married. I am not in love with my husband. I dont wish to be with him anymore. I dont want to hurt him but I want to leave him. He has noticed changes in my behaviour and I did mention that I dont want to be with him. He threatens me and I feel forced to be with him. What is the easiest way forward for me?

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