Advice

Q: I have to ask your good self something about my lifestyle blunders (sins). To begin with I wish to tell u something about myself. I was born in a poor home and illiterate society. My father a graduate but unemployed. My mother illiterate. My neighbourhood also illiterate with few exceptions. In my childhood I was sexually abused by two boys elder to me. They took me to a secluded place and tried to harm me but I ran away. Later I got mingled into the society after 6th standard, probably owing to my fathers frustration because he could not get a government job and got over aged for any government job. The elder boys in the neighbourhood told us their stories what they did. They told us how they assaulted younger boys sexually (rape as per law). Similarly my friends at school introduced me to masturbation and other things. With time all these things poisoned my young mind and I landed in all these crimes. I assaulted 5 small boy sexually. Although I didn't inflict any physical pain to them but I used to rub my organ against theirs till I got done. This continued for many years till 22. I went ahead in studies and now I am a doctor. In my final year I failed. At that time I got isolated from my batch mates. I was in a great distress. One evening when I was preparing again for that exam, I sat down for rest. All of a sudden all these past memories surfaced into my mind. I remembered my crimes and sins. Those children who are now in their late 20's. I felt sorry. Three years have now passed since then. I m feeling worried about my sins. What will be my condition on qiyamah and in the grave. These things haunt me. Please tell me what to do, for Allah's sake. Should I go to Saudi Arabia for punishment or will I beg these boys for forgiveness. (I told one to forgive me) Also please tell me its punishment Islamically. Even then will Allah forgive me. I am psychologically a lot disturbed. I hate mused and curse myself. I think I will not be able to marry. Even if I I got married, I could not be able to take care of my family because day by day I am getting more involved pscholgically. Please tell me , for Allahs sake.

Q: I usually feel too exhausted, very lazy and weakness in my bones and it's on every single bone with a headache and it only gets worst when I want to pray. I feel drifted from who I am, I don't recognise myself anymore and I find it very hard to do things for myself or anyone and my mum is always mad at me for that. I keep failing which was never me and I keep quitting on education and everything. Can you please help?

Q: I have been married for 4 years. I have been separated from my husband staying with my parent for 2 years. He does not nafaqah me. We spent more time apart than together. I have no trust in him, I don't believe him. Our gap has grown so much bigger between us. Whenever we speak about things trying to make changes, but it never happens. We are still fighting. I'm unhappy miserable and lonely.

Q: I did nikah with a woman few days before. The very next day from someone outside I find out that my wife had physical relationship out of marriage with a man for 3 years. I went home and asked her straight and she confessed that she had physical relationship with him so much so that they had done kissing all over, seen each other naked and touched each other's private parts (masturbated each other) but she made promise on Allah that they did not have intercourse. I can't believe that they did not do intercourse, even if they did not do intercourse how a husband is supposed to forgive all this? If I leave her the 25 years of relationship of two families will be destroyed. But I can't forgive her. I try to forgive her but whenever I see her I imagine the two of them having doing zina and that is unbearable for me. Help me what I'm supposed to do. Even if I forgive her how can I cope with my imagination?

Q: Can a woman obtain a fasakh on the basis of non-nafakah (not buying clothes and not providing a roof over our head and letting his wife and children live off his mother in-law) on financial and emotional abuse and not spending time with his children? Also spending all his free time with his half brother and cousin fixing vans.

Q: I want to ask that I take care of my mother in-law who is unable to walk because of a weak spine. But she understands everything. She is mentally alright. But she shows that she doesn't understand how she urinates or other things. So I warn her for doing all this. Am I doing a gunnaah if I warn her? Please advise me because I find it very difficult to do all that work.

Q: I am a revert. Does this make me responsible for my family on the Day of Resurrection if they die as non-Muslims and am I a Dayooth if the non-believing women in my life (family members) wear whatever they want?

Q: Before 8 years back I was loving a girl and she also but we never talked just we both know that we are in love and I am getting dreams of her daily and when I wake up I forget the dreams. I think that she is in some problem.

Q: I have something that has been troubling me. My husband told me he had a male call him in a private number accusing him of having an affair with this man's wife then he goes on to tell that, that man then tells that I am having something to do with him which highly got me angry which I know is a lie. I phoned a service provider enquiring if I can trace a private call so I can prove my innocence I asked my husband to take me to police station to open up a case against that private call but he refused to take me he said he will sort it out but he doesn't want to take me. Then my husband tells me that the station police told him that they can only see the area which person is calling from but not the actual person which I believe is a lie because all sim cards are registered. Customer care told they can trace a private call but my husband is adamant that it can't be done and private call is only coming when he is not at home. So I don't know if my husband is trying to defame me or trying to accuse me of something and it is really disturbing me a lot and causing discomfort. Please advise me I don't want to leave any stones unturned I want to get to the bottom of the truth.

Q: There is a family who want to come to my parents to ask for a marriage proposal for their son and me. I appreciate their son and I agree for their proposal. But my parents don't let them come. They don't want to even hear about their proposal because of their cast. We are Pakistani. We are from the upper cast and their are from the lower one. My parents don't know the guy nor his family but they are not even ready to meet them. They told me that they prefer keeping me unmarried than marry me to this guy because of cast, because of the dunya. They told me that what would they say to the people if I marry that guy. Is their reaction right in Islam? If the guy agrees for the marriage and I agree too, if both of us are happy with this marriage, is it right for my parents to stop the marriage, to not let it happen? I am 26 and the guy's family want to come since 2014, it has been 2 years that my parents refuse and delay my marriage whereas the guy is religious. Please can you help me and reply to my questions about it.