Right of a mother in making decisions for her children

Q: I have 2 children aged 2 years old and a 3 month old baby. My husband tells me that I have no right in making any decisions for the babies such as something as small as cutting or triming their hair, he has every right to make the decisions. Is he right?

What rights does a mother have? Should I just keep quite and let him do as he pleases even if it makes me unhappy?

Sunnats and aadaab when visiting the graveyard

Q:

1. I wanted to know the etiquette and sunnah when visiting the qabrastaan? What is best for one to do when in the qabrastaan?

2. What should one recite and what will be most beneficial to read for the deceased when in the qabrastaan (closest to sunnah)?

3. When is it sunnah and most preferable to visit the qabrastaan?

4. Is there anything mentioned regarding pouring water over the qabr? If there is any book or literature on visiting the graveyard then please do let us know.