Talaaq

Halaala

Q: My situation is a bit confusing and embarrassing.

I married a man who I dearly love and who loves me. However during our marriage we fought quite a bit, I think it was because we were rececenlty married and because I came from a family of all girls with no father in my life and he came from a family of all boys. I think marriage was a shock. Deen was a big factor in our lives alhamdulillah. Unfortunately my husband divorced me 3 times. After the third time and our separation he regretted it unbearably. I missed him very much and realised all the silly things I had done and got angry about during our marriage. 

I then did halala, I know it's immoral hence embarrassed telling you. I didn't tell my husband or anyone else no one knows until this day. When I married I did not mention anything about halala at the time of the nikah and even before hardly except that the man knew I missed my husband and just wanted to back home to him. I can't remember I I mentioned that I might want divorce, but if I did it was definitely not at the time of nikah. This man never told me he was marrying me to give me back though, deep down I knew. I feel that this part of the nikah was valid. My concern is with the fact that he didn't match me in kuf and I had no wali present. I am a covered girl and my family quit pious and this man seemed religious however I found out he goes to mixed wedding etc, he is Lebanese so I assume there isn't much segregation between cousins and inlaws. There were two witnesses and a man that I chose to be my wakeel at the nikah. There was ijaab and qubool.

(Question 1) Was this valid even though he didn't match me in kuf? I asked one scholar here who said it's valid even without kuf, then I got paranoid and wanted confirmation so I asked another and he said it is invalid. I  am so confused because if it is invalid then my current nikah with my husband is also invalid. 

After my Iddah I am now back with my first husband and we are soo happy and getting along very well MashaAllah. I honestly feel like I have married another man when it comes to understanding and caring etc and I feel like I have changed too in a good way. I am also now preganant. 

My question is, (question 2) why has Allah blessed me and continued to bless me after such an immoral act I have done? It keeps me from doing extra amaal because I feel like I have deceived Islam too and am living in a haram way but Allah has blessed me and husband with happiness , (question 3) should I feel guilty about the halala for ever? Or should I let go? (Question 4) should I leave my husband because I did halala to get with him? I'm so confused and feel horrible for my bad deeds (question 5) do I still get reward for serving my husband etc even though unmarried him by doing halala?

Living together after three talaaqs

Q: One of my neighbours has given divorce to his wife by saying talaaq three times in three different places. The wife is living with him. In any case, she has three kids and her husband has given her property also. Her mother in law n brother in law are on his side. So what was the punishment by Allah for them and what can the husband do?

Three written talaaqs

Q: I want to query about talaaq. Please tell me that a written talaq is declared if written 3 times on paper at once? I mean is it considered as 1 or 3 if written at same time but written talaq talaq talaq at once? Please elaborate.

Statement that does not constitute divorce

Q: Me and my husband were talking and he asked me to give him milk, so I was like plain or hot, but he wanted a smoothy like milk. I didn't feel like making it so he was upset. I told him to have good character and show akhlaaq. He said that I do a lot of sabr. So I said, like my step mum? He said yes. (My step mum has a problem with her step mum in law and she dont want to keep her anymore because of issues they have so she said she cant make sabr anymore and she dont want her in her house). Does that consitute a divorce? Because he said he did a lot of sabr.

Asking for faskh due to mistrust

Q: Me and my wife are currently separated but not divorced. We have been separated for 6 weeks now. My questions are as follows:

1. How long are we allowed to be separated before our marriage will be null and void?

2. My wife wants a fasagh, however I want to reconcile. The problem was that I borrowed money from a friend and never told my wife and she only found out afterwards that I borrowed money from a female... Is she allowed to be granted a fasagh on the basis of mistrust and lies?

3. If she insists on a fasagh and I dont want to because I still love her and for the sake of our children, can the Alim force her to give me a chance even though her parents don't want her to take me back?