Q: I am really confused. Everyone says that in life you can't focus too much on beauty when it comes to a potential suitor. Then, they say "no. But you have to be attracted to him". But then if I am not attracted to anyone except for a very specific few, then "no, you're being too fussy and need to lower your expectations in life" then when I say okay, how do I lower my expectations? How do I force myself to be attracted to somebody who doesn't really match up to what I had in mind? Then they say "No. don't lower your expectations, expect the best from Allah and have faith that he'll give you what you want" then I say okay fine I expect the best. Then they show me somebody and I can't find it in my heart to have the slightest bit of attraction towards them then they say "if you don't find this person good looking you need to lower your expectations" then I ask how , "no have faith in Allah, you'll get what you want" ... so I don't know what to do. first they say expect from Allah then they say lower your expectations. Which do I do and HOW? It's not as if I'm only focusing on looks, I want piety and looks in a person and I'm not willing to compromise on either. Money is not a main focus but looks and piety are. I have never spoken to any non mahrams much in life so i feel like why should my first relationship ever be with someone that is unappealing to my eye? It's not as if I feel deserving or entitled or think that I'm so holy for not ever engaging in haraam relations but I just think it might be a disappointment to have the one relationship you ever have be with someone you just can't seem to be attracted to. Also. If I read "Rabbana Hablana Min Azwajina Wa Dhhuriyatina Qurata A'yewnew waj Alna Lil mutaqina imaama" will I get someone who I find good looking? Because it's a dua for our spouses to be the coolness of our eyes and he can only be a coolness to my eyes if I am attracted to him right? And I will only be attracted to him if he meets my expectations which means that all I have to do is read this dua and have faith and not lower my expectations right?

Q: Sorry for the disturbance it will be feel like am playing but please help me understand today one insident happened when I go through internet I get to know there is thing like if we do something that Allah doesn't like it's shirk so the thought that came to my mind is my friend who is a girl so I thought talking to her is shirk but I search in the internet in that they have told like it is minor shirk so I keep searching until I clear this doubt and then there were some post like it can be major shirk so to be frank I really don't want to do that if its major shirk but I want to make this doubt go dissapear so I kept searching at last I got to no there is no prob but now I feel like I was ready to talk even if it is major shirk but to be frank I don't no wat I thought ... it can be true that I might thought or not but am not sure but I was searching whole time to make That thing normal but now it feels like I commuted shirk and here after talking to her is shirk .... so I don't no wat is true what is right and wrong anymore unlike other issue this feel real because I was very clear than other incident that happened bcz of waswaas so now I can't say it's waswaas or me .. and definitely can't say like I was nt ready so what can I do ... I just want to be safe from shirk so is there is any way I can ask forgiveness and talk to hey normally or should I ask forgiveness nd stop talk to her ... u might be mad to hear this .... does this mean I committed shirk and if I talk to her again does that consider as shirk ?

Q: I am being constantly faced with lots if wasaawis. I am not able to deal with it. I am thinking about almost each thought that passes my mind whether that thought did not constitute kufr. Due to this I am reciting shahadah again and again thinking I might have done kufr. I have read that we should ignore these thoughts...but I am not able to do it. I read lots of books by Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi Sahab, Maulana Zakariyya rahimahullah, etc. Alhumdulillah the books had great influence over me, and alhumdulillah I am striving hard to practise complete deen in my life. I have changed a lot. So, I have read about wasaawis in many books. But I am not able to ignore them... my health is also being affected due to the constant stress, thinking and the hard pressure which I put on my mind in order to think what I thought. I am in search of a shaikh also to do my tazkiya and also to guide me... but since I am a woman and also no one in the family is related to tasawwuf, I have not yet accomplished this. So my question is:

1. Please explain to me practically how to ignore the wasaawis. Do I have to obstruct them or let them pass in my mind?

2. Can you also say some other things such as muraaqaba etc. that will help me and also to ease and calm my mind.

3. Can I do baiyat with you? If not, can you guide me towards a shaikh?

4. Lastly, I need ur precious duas.

Q: I was 18 when I met my now husband...and I found out after I fell in love with him that he has a illigitimate child..he had no contact with her since birth and did not want to as the mother didn't want him to have any rifts over the child as she was to marry a man she cheated with on my husband in the past... For 16 years there was no contact and I married my husband on the grounds that this will never be a problem 1 day as I was never given a option to accept this with him or not... Furthermore for years he did not want this himself..

A few months ago after 16 years the child contacted het father and out of no where he wanted to have a relationship with her but his ex and child is not muslim and I could not bring myself to accept this...

Firstly the child isn't islam..2ndly I feel betrayed at the fact that I have to change my life for others mistakes of 16 years..my pious parents accepted this marriage on grounds that this would never come back like this...

I do feel bad as I told my husband...i cannot accept his estranged ex and child which isn't muslim in my life after so many years when now I want to start my own family and if he wants his child I have no choice but to divorce him as I cannot accept and fix a 16 year lost relationship of him and his daughter.. Am I wrong to not accept this?because I feel like I've been wronged by him and his false promise at the time of marriage..im scared Allah will punish me for stopping him and the child from having a relationship...

Please help

Q: I would like to know if a divorcee needs a wali for her second nikah or is it allowed for her to make nikah without a wali or the walis permission?

Q:

1 . If i give zakat to anyone, is it necessary to tell them it is zakat money?

2. Suppose I have to pay zakat Rs 12000, can I give Rs 1000 in each month?

3. One of my friends distributes free rice to the poor, can I give him rice to distribute from the zakat money?

Q: What are the most comprehensive duas?

Q: I have heard from several sources that seven people can share a cow for Qurbani and Akikah. I would like to know if this is really permitted? If so, how should we do?

Q: 

1. If the ustad asks the student did you do مطالعة on weekend is this classed as تجسس?

2. If the shaykh asks the mureed do u do the tasbeehat is this تجسس?

3. If a teacher asks a student did u do لغو is this classed as تجسس?

Q: What is the reason that women are not allowed to wear imitation rings?