Talaaq

Q: I am in Saudi Arabia and don’t know Arabic. One day I was talking to a person who didn’t understand much English. He asked me whether I am married or not. I said to him "Yes, I am married" but as he was weak in English so I tend to speak Arabic and I said “nikah khalas”. I found out khalas has many meanings in Arabic such as done/finish/over/complete. But my intention was to say nikah is done/hogaya so will “nikah khalas”  be a word of talaaq or not?

Q:

1. If a husband, with an intention to divorce his wife, says to his wife that "I divorce you" and after that they did not have any sort of communication or any physical relationship upto three months, will it be considered as a legal divorce or the husband is again required to divorce her ?

2. Also, please tell me whether it is necessary to give a written talaqnama to the wife and if yes, who all should sign the talaqnama and is it necessary that the wife should also sign the talaqnama?

Q: If any unmarried boy said that he divorced his wife (3 times). He meant that, if at that present time he had married a specific girl (one of his cousin's sister in law) then only that girl is divorced. He thought, he mistakenly married that girl (one of his cousin's sister in law).

Actually, he understood later that, that was not a marriage. It was his over thinking. That boy never thought of divorcing any other girl or his future wife while utturing those words. That boy did not even know, that there is a possibility of divorce before marriage.

Now, after around 12 years that boy/man wants to marry another girl. Is there any issue? Will those words be effective? 

Q: Please advise if any of these situations constitute a talaq.

1. Telling my wife that we should get divorced. 

2. Telling her all the reasons why I want to get divorced in a state of anger, not intending to give a talaq at that point but planning to do so at a later stage

3. Saying "I've already decided" after being told by my wife to decide what I want to do before discussing it with her parents. This was in reference to the terms which I wanted to stipulate in writing before giving a talaq, particularly with regard to my visitation rights with the children. However, we did not go ahead with this and I did not give a talaq.

4. Saying "I'm sick and tired of your s***" in a state of anger (again as a reason as to why I want to divorce her).

Please note that I always suffer from doubts regarding my intentions after an argument with my wife even though I am very cautious of making sure that I don't issue a talaq at the point when any of those words are spoken. I am a bit confused but I'm not sure if I'm claiming that I'm confused just to try and save my marriage and this creates more doubt because I feel that maybe I'm being hypocritical.

Q: A wife accidentally told her husband that you are my father. Does this have any effect on the nikaah?

Q: I married for the second time in 11.11.2016. Before marriage, I stayed together with her for one year. I wanted to make my relationship halaal but I did one mistake by not telling her that I was married with 2 kids.

After 3 months she got to know that I was married and she wanted a divorce. Now she wants a divorce and is not ready to live with me. Everyday she argues and fights with me.

So I told her to take divorce but she was not ready. Now what do I have to do. She is not easy to live with anymore and not ready to divorce. 

Q: I told my wife "If you ever work in that place again, I guarantee you it will break our relationship"

The intention when saying those words was in order to threaten her so she doesn't work there, but I'm not sure if I had the intention of actually divorcing her immediately if she started working there. It was in the context of that if she works there, it will affect our relationships trust. Thus it may lead to a break up, so she should be careful.

Q: My husband suffers from a serious mental illness. He has a bipolar disorder which means that he goes into both manic and depressive episodes. He was diagnosed by a psychiatrist in Decembwr 2018 and is on medication for it.

We have been married for 6 and a half years, and we have 3 young children together. Our marriage was very good alhamdullilah until about a year ago when signs of his illness began.

When he is manic, he has lots of rage, he has no impulse control and behaves in a way completely out of character. He says strange things and treats everyone very badly. He can hallucinate and become paranoid. His condition has been getting worse.

A few nights ago, we had a big fight because he was saying terrible things to me by text and I was very upset. All of a sudden he said he will divorce me, if not tonight then he will do it tomorrow. He has never said anything bout divorce before. I was so upset I drove straight to his parent's house where he was and I went to him and said 'you want to divorce me? then ok, do it'! At the time he was sitting with his brother who said that he was saying strange things to him before I arrived which did not make any sense and he had been trying to calm him down. His family pulled me from the room before he could respond to me, but he went into a rage and ran in the room to me and then he said talaq 3 times. He was highly agitated, screaming at everyone and swearing at me going crazy saying things he has never said before. He went crazy at all his family and continued to act manic and agitated. This was at his parent's home in front of his family. I left the house.

Since then, in the last few days his behaviour and psychosis got so much worse he was having delusions and going completely crazy to the point he was taken by police and has now been locked in a mental health facility. They found out that he had stopped taking his medication about a week ago because he believed it was killing him, and also that his medicine dosage has been massively insufficient so they immediately doubled it. He has now gone into a depressive state and is crying constantly and talking about self harm.

Now I need to know if our divorce is valid or not. He was very obviously not in his right mind when he said it, he was enraged, off his medication and having an extremely paychotic manic episode at the time. He also previously never expressed any desire for divorce, but if it was a valid divorce then I need to know.

Q: I was married and over a year ago I received my divorce through email, I was working overseas at the time. The email was this “I (his name and ID number) hereby give you a talaaq” he then got married and had a child to another woman and has divorced her... and now he is contacting me and telling me that he wants me back and that we are not divorced because we did not sign the papers, is this correct? Am I divorced or not divorced?

Q: After divorce, at which age can the children decide which parent they want to live with?

If the husband and wife agree for the wife to keep the children after the age of 6, will it be permissible?