Nikaah & Marriage Issues

Q: There's a practice here in my country that after the bride is engaged, she can't see/appear in front of anyone (even females) from the groom's family. Is that practice from Islam?

Q: If a daughter presses her father's feet below the knees solely with the intention of khidmat and the daughter nor the father feels or has any lustful thoughts before, during or after the act. They don't feel anything at all, then does hurmat-e-musaharat take place? (The daughter is married)

Q: During nikaah, if the ijaab and qubool are said in a language that the groom understands, but the bride and her wali/representative do not, is the nikah valid so long as the proper words of ijaab and qubool are said?

Q: Under the following circumstances, is it ja'iz for me to use condoms to avoid pregnancy? For the past several years, my wife has been bedridden due to an incurable disease. About a year ago, I did a second marriage so that my second wife could take care of the house and myself. She is about 42 years old while I am 51 years of age. Recently, my second wife was diagnosed with diabetes. About a month ago, she underwent a minor surgery that required general anesthesia to be given to her. The surgery had to be delayed twice as her sugar level was not coming down and anesthesia could not be given. Finally, the doctors had to use some other method rather than anesthesia to do the surgery. I have been suffering from osteoporosis. In addition, over the past couple of years, have been losing weight. Doctors haven’t been able to diagnose the reason of weight loss and investigations are going on. Because of my and my second wife’s health issues I use condoms to avoid her becoming pregnant against her will. She wants to have at least one child.

Q: If wife dont want to have sex for a long time even if I ask for it (I need a boy baby). She said that I can't. Hence if I go have sex with other women to relax my feelings, is this a sin or what can I do for sex? From my side I am giving how much I can.

Q: I am married for seven years and have two kids aged 5 years and one eleven months old daughter. Whenever I seek intercourse from my wife, she declines me nine out of ten times, because she is either busy, she is tired most of the times, she is not well and that she has to take care of the children (these are the reasons according to her) and I am left being frustrated and when this kind of reasons are given I cannot oppose it and ask her forcefully. Sometimes we have intercourse just once in many weeks. I do not know what to do about this situation because it creates lots of frustration sometimes. Please help me with this. Also my wife feels that two children are enough where as I do want another child. She has refused me and have warned me as well to go leave her if I want another child. What I can do is in this situation to convince her?

Q: Please advise: I am a 25 year old female and feel that I am ready for marriage. My parents have been looking for a suitable spouse for me. So far I have had boys (who were suggested my family members/family friends) come home to propose but it did not go further because both I and my family felt that the boy and I were not compatible. An old friend (female) recently contacted me through Facebook and said that her cousin (who went to the same school as me -7 years ago) is ready for marriage and would like to contact my parents. I am aware of the fitna of social media and have been very careful about how I use it. I do not post any pictures of myself so I am certain that this is not the reason that her cousin would like to speak to my parents. Would you advise that I give this friend my parents' contact details? Or would it be better to turn down her request and wait for another proposal to be suggested by a family member?

Q: I want to know nikaah to your own zania is allowed or not. Actually we committed zina several times and now we are husband wife. Is she halal for me now or not? Also we have one kid.

Q: I have 3 kids(6.3.1). Found out I am 4 weeks pregnant. I live in another country without any family. Husband works 24/7. He is on call all the time, his job is very demanding and doesn't get paid well. We have recently handed in our passports for renewal of our visas and have been told it will be 8+ months before we get an answer and so we cannot travel . We also had to give up our car because we are not allowed to drive until we know our status in the country . So everyday tasks like buying bread and milk, school , doctors have become a nightmare and costly . I am at home with kids and have no access to the outside world . I am isolated . I do all the work with regards to child rearing and running the home . It is extremely demanding physically and mentally. I have no time to take care of myself , pray , eat. I am beginning to resent this life and my husband and the kids . All I do is yell at them and recently have been wanting to physically hit them . When looking for support at the doctors they simply want to prescribe medication to help me cope but I am not keen on it . I have family history on. Other sides of mental health issues and have been working hard to not end up like that . I have asked family for help but the cost of travelling to us and the cost of us having others around is too great . Parents are too old to help . My last child was born early because I was extremely ill during the pregnancy and was very physically active due to all the responsibilities I had to take on. Another factor is if we had to have this child and add them on to our visa we would have to pay +- 25 000 Zar. I simply cannot cope with another child . While typing this I am having an anxiety attack and wish to run away and leave the kids . With my previous 2 pregnancies my husband also was on drugs and became physically and mentally abusove . Is it permissible to have an abortion?