Nikaah & Marriage Issues

Q: I would like to know for hurtmat-e-musaahara to take place for a male he must have an erection, so how does a female know if she committed hurmat-e-musaahara? Also if a person has no desire for there father in-law at all, they just know the rule of hurmat-e-musaahara and due to waswasaa when shaking his hands thinks "I dont want to touch his hands, now I am touching his hand lustfully" and they have a funny feeling. So they don't really know if they actually touched it lustfully or not But they really don't want to touch his hand. They just shaking it because the father in-law gives out his hand to shake. What is the ruling on this? And how can they control this?

Q: I have been married for more than six years now and have two kids of age 4 years and 3 years. Handling 2 kids has become very tedious for us as we don't have anyone to support us (as we live in the city for my job and parents are back in town) and both the kids don't eat well and are quite trouble makers. So we had many sleepless nights and late mornings. Managing them has become so tough that we are losing cool on small things and getting into fight frequently. Yesterday we came to know that my wife is pregnant again and we are in confusion on how to re-act to this. My wife thinks that it is best to avoid it now considering the current situation and plan it later on for the third child. She thinks by using tablets we can do this. I am not sure how to react to this!

Q: Is it permissible for a woman to live in her husband's house if her husband is not there for a long time?

Q: In my first pregnancy I had a complication which put the baby life at risk and so the baby was born early. Doctors are saying that I am at very high risk of this happening again. The first time the condition that was life threatening to us both was picked up in time so shukr we both are fine. With this warning should I have more children or rather not? If it is life threatening to the mother is it allowed to sterilize?

Q: Is it obligatory for a wife to serve her in-laws if her husband asks her to do so? What are the duties of a wife towards her husband's family? Please guide me in the light of Quran and Sunnah.

Q: I am a 29 years old, unmarried, looking for a partner. I am struggling to find someone compatible. However today I was driving home at night and saw an ex-boyfriend of mine who is now married walking to mosque with his son. I offered him a ride to mosque and we ended up talking for some time. He asked why I broke up with him and admitted that he still cared for me. I made a joke out of it. Later on I asked him if he could find me a husband, he said he could not but he asked how I felt about being a second wife. My reply was no because I feel I am too jealous. However, I remember watching one of sister aaminas videos where she said that polygamy is actually a gift to the women. I was wondering if you could please explain this to me as I feel if I understood it better I might be more open to it.

Q: By the grace of Allah Almighty I have been blessed to be a mother (second time). My first child had congenital abnormalities including heart and intestine issues. He passed away after six months. Can you please guide me to do what during this duration in order to stay safe ? I recite Quran regularly (Alhamdulillah), recite manzil and some good books also. Due to my condition I have been advised to have bed rest. Lying whole day all alone makes me frustrated and depressed. I feel so lazy I don't want to do anything and at times I feel so low. Kindly guide me some zikr that I should make.

Q: I wanted to seek your advice on the importance of waleemah as no waleemah took place after my nikaah. I got married six months back. Please guide me so I can advise my husband too.

Q:

1. Is there a difference in nikaah and marriage?

2. Is it permissible to have a nikaah with someone else even when you are married?

3. Is it compulsory to have permission from wife and children (all well grown up) to have nikaah with someone else (due to total / negative and un acceptable cooperation in life from wife)?