Nikaah & Marriage Issues

Educating children regarding "adult material"

Q: In some cultures, nowadays, parents tend to hide or cover a hadith or some Islamic knowledge from their children. They say that it’s something you’ll need to know when you grow up – as in when you get married. Should children – after puberty, at least – not have full knowledge about Islam before marriage? For example, there are ahaadith relating to zina. There’s knowledge about sexual intercourse, about pregnancy, about masturbation, etc. which most children do not know about; unless they’re very curious and tend to look up themselves, which causes further sins, i.e pornography.

Children would not know that masturbation is haraam unless it’s told to them. Masturbation is so common during youth, and children are not aware of the fact that it’s haraam, or if you did it, you have to do ghusl prior to praying. Should a woman/man tell their children about sexual intercourse right before the day of marriage, as this would cause fear in the heart of a young girl just before marriage? I heard a father telling their daughters about this hadith but only up till كَذَا وَكَذَا i.e. he left out the last 2 words, كُلُّ عَيْنٍ زَانِيَةٌ وَالْمَرْأَةُ إِذَا اسْتَعْطَرَتْ فَمَرَّتْ بِالْمَجْلِسِ فَهِيَ كَذَا وَكَذَا يَعْنِي زَانِيَةً Was this right of him to do so?

Also, women don’t allow their children to read full Islamic books, written by great people, like Bahishti Zewar written by Ashraf Ali Thanwi (rahmatullahi 'alaihi). They just let them read what they think is important for the “kids” to know, and leave out the “adult” chapters, even in the daily Ta’leem. Parents are oblivious of the fact that children are aware of everything they are aware of. Since nowadays, kids learn everything from their Biology textbooks and that, too, in detail—Isn’t it better that parents give them that knowledge by letting them read Islamic books, or by informing them of various sins i.e. as in what’s adultery, etc.?

Fantasizing of someone while masturbating

Q: Please guide me. I am very distressed. A long time ago about 9 years in 2010 when I was about 23 years old and didn’t know about hurmmat e musaherah. One evening I was masturbating and accidently imagined my uncle's wife (chachi). After two three days they came to our home from village as in our society when I saw them coming from village as a guest I became forward and shook hands with my uncle's wife. As the incident of masturbation occurred a day before, there was a thought in my mind that I masturbated with this (chachi) although I am not sure whether there was a lust or erection or desire or casual hand shake. I didn’t know exactly what happened as it was a long time ago. Now I love my cousin my uncle's daughter very much and want to marry her but there I have a waswasa whether I can marry her or not? I love my cousin. Please guide me, can I make nikaah with her or not?

Fantasizing about actors and actresses

Q: If you imagine an actor, actress, or singer nude without any sexual feeling and without any sexual attraction. In other words you don't have any sexual intention or feelings towards them. You don't have any intention to insult or disrespect them but you think with your mind, how would x actor/actress or singer look like if he/she was nude. Are you considered to have insulted him/her? Are you considered to have disrespected her/him? Are you considered to have done an injustice to her/him?

Is this similar to insulting your schoolmates with dirty words? Is this similar to disrespecting your schoolmates by insulting and offending them and saying bad things about them? Will you pay anything to them on the day of judgment based on the Hadith that says that their good deeds will be given to the ones they have done injustices.

Choosing not to get married

Q: Is that person sinful who does not marry in this world if he/she does not find someone as relgious and God fearing as him/her in this world and wants to remain unmarried to marry somone very pious/God fearing in the Hereafter because a more religious/God fearing person will have better rewards in Paradise and would share them with his/her partner.

Marrying a Qaadiyani

Q: I am a Sunni sect lady in her mid forties and had been married to an Ahmaddiyay Sect man in his late fifties. I have a son of 7 years out of the wedlock. My parents were not aware of my husband's sect whereas I was told two days before the marriage, but was ignorant of the difference in the sect. So taking the liberal side, I went ahead with it.

My husband does not earn at all, infact, he sits back home and I run around for supporting the house and making ends meet. He has never invested a single Rupee, either on my son nor on myself and to top all, he abuses me mentally by taunting and passing negative remarks on my deceased parents and siblings, as well as been physical too.

Two days back he had not only slapped and tried to strangulate me but also hit me on my head and I had to be rushed to the hospital for a bleeding cut and my son witnessed all this and was terrified. For the first time after 10 years of marriage I had disclosed about my husband's sect with my youngest brother who is in his late thirties and quite influential on Islamic clauses and he wants me to break the nikkah as its not lawful especially in the light of the Ahmaddiya fact.

I had earlier several times tried to disclose with my parents but did not gain confidence to share the same and both of them are no longer with us. Please tell me where do I stand? 

Breaking up a marriage

Q: If you see the signs of the curse of Allah Ta'ala on someone where they are unable to make duaa and you know he isn't a good person but hides it and pretends, what do the teachings say in breaking up his marriage and removing the wife from this ordeal?